


Forsworn

by Erulisse17



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF Rey, Bounty Hunter, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, I guess Rey is baby Yoda?, Knights of Ren - Freeform, Mandalorian AU, Rewriting of the whole sequel series apparently, Slow Burn, The Helmet Stays On, This didn't start as a fix-it fic but by God that's where it's ending, Until it Doesn't, What happens when the Hunter catches FEELS, When your job seduces you with sass, snarky rey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:15:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 61,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22181665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erulisse17/pseuds/Erulisse17
Summary: He tried to shift away as she reached for his helmet.“No. It is forbidden. I have sworn…” He coughed thickly, fighting for breath. “No one must see my face.”Hesitating, her eyes flicked between her blood-stained hand and his mask, then a watery smile broke across Rey's face.“It’s a good thing I’m no one, then.”---Fear follows Knights of Ren as they travel the galaxy, cloaked in black with ever-present helmets. When Snoke tasks their leader, Kylo Ren with bringing back an asset from Jakku, he reluctantly accepts. But the asset turns out to be a feral scavenger girl named Rey, and everything - his code, his loyalty, his life - is about to change.Or the Mandalorian-inspired Reylo AU no one asked for but I’m gonna do anyway!
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 498
Kudos: 898





	1. The Fury

__

_“The Ren doesn't stop to worry about what it's burning or the right or wrong of it, or the goals it might achieve. The Ren just is. It lives, and it consumes, and it doesn't apologize. It is its nature and nothing else.” - The Code of the Knights of Ren_

* * *

  
  


“That’s it?”

The mask hid his narrowed eyes, but the guards in the room still shifted uncomfortably.

Hux’s lip lifted into a sneer. “One would think that as a Knight of Ren, a tracker would be more than enough.”

He resisted the temptation to Force-choke the man, but only barely.

“We do also have the last known positional data. Some backwater desert planet called Jakku,” the ginger continued as if his life didn’t hang in the balance between Kylo’s rage and control. “And Snoke wants the mark brought in alive.”

“The Knights of Ren do not trifle with bail jumpers or petty criminals,” he hissed as the stormtroopers started to reach for their weapons. “We are the Hand of the Shadow, not bounty hunters.”

“We’ve sent bounty hunters. None have returned.”

He was about to make several uncomplimentary observations about the mercenaries Hux had hired when a deep voice pervaded the room. 

“I assure you, young Ren, this asset is vital to the First Order.” The seven-foot-tall blue image of Snoke’s face flickered into view, startling the rest of their audience while both Hux and Kylo turned and knelt.

“You will retrieve this asset personally, ” he commanded, “and return to me at once. My plans have been thwarted for too long.”

Kylo ducked his head. “I will not fail you.” 

As Snoke’s transmission faded, he snatched the tracking fob off the table and stalked to his ship, setting a course for Jakku.

Whoever this asset was, they would be no match for him.

…

He landed far outside of the pathetic excuse for a skug hole settlement. No sense in spooking the asset yet. 

Snatches of gossip floated around him as he set foot in the dusty outpost, cloak fluttering behind him.

“...all in black? Why in the moons would someone…”

“... of Ren! They never take their helmets off!”

“Never? Even when they…”

“...who he’s looking for?”

“Doesn’t matter, so long as it’s not me!”

The small pings led him through the market, where he paused and snapped his head to the left, where three forms were busily scrubbing metal, even though he had sensed four just a few moments ago. A small breath of satisfaction escaped him.

His prey was close.

He walked with slow, measured steps, listening carefully to the increasing beeps and the small shuffles behind a facade of crates and cloth. With a sudden movement, he ripped the coverings away and revealed his quarry, cornered and trembling in-

Kylo blinked.

It was a girl. She looked to be a few years younger than him, with brunette hair pulled back into three buns and rough linen strips adorning her cream clothing. She was crouched down toward the ground, clutching what looked to be a long pipe with an attached strap, but it wasn’t until he met her brown eyes that he realized she wasn’t trembling in fear.

It was _rage._

Quick as a sand serpent, she whipped her staff behind his knees and knocked him flat on the ground. Before he could do more than let out a surprised grunt, the butt of her weapon landed firmly in his abdomen as she vaulted over him to run down the small alley.

Wincing as he fought for air, Kylo rolled to his feet and gave chase, the other inhabitants scattering when they saw him running at full speed through the market. The girl rounded a corner and he sped up to catch her, only to have her quarterstaff slam into his chest, nearly sending him to the ground again.

He grabbed the staff and tried to yank it away from her. Instead, she relaxed her grip, let it slide through her hands, then kicked the back of his knee. Now that he was off-balance, the girl shoved all of her weight down on the weapon, wrenching it to the ground and bringing him along with it. 

She swung behind him, kneeing him in the kidneys as she moved, then gripped both sides of her staff and jerked it up to press against his windpipe, slowly cutting off his oxygen.

Distantly, Kylo realized this was the closest someone had come to beating him in hand-to-hand combat in a long, long time.

Spinning around, he raised a hand to her face and shouted, _“Enough!”_

Those brown eyes (flecked with green, he realized) grew wide in terror as her arms suddenly locked in place. He stood, pushing her staff out of the way, noting that even as her breaths grew faster and more frightened, she still lifted her chin and glared at him in defiance. 

He frowned. The girl shouldn’t be able to do anything while under his control, not even small acts of resistance. Shaking his head, he waved two fingers across her eyeline and caught her as she crumpled. Wincing at the bruises forming on his knees and back, Kylo hefted his prize a little as he searched for some kind of transport.

“No wonder the other bounty hunters didn’t come back,” he muttered to himself as his throat ached in protest. Her head lolled to the side at the motion, coming to rest just above his heart. Kylo stopped for a moment as she sighed deeply, her breath ghosting across his chest and - for some unfathomable reason - causing something to twist inside him.

Shaking it off, he marched angrily towards the closest landspeeder. The sooner he finished this job, the better.

…

The girl came to wakefulness halfway to his ship.

He heard the slight change in her breathing, sensed the flare of her emotions: confusion, fear, anger, rebellion. As he piloted the speeder, he kept an eye behind him as she tested the wrist binders, checked around her for weapons, then slowly leaned out the side to contemplate her escape.

“Don’t,” he warned, and she jerked a little to realize he was aware of her actions. 

“Why not?” She threw out, raising an eyebrow. “Is it a rental?”

He shot her a dark look she couldn’t see, then breathed a small sigh of relief to see the edge of the sand dune that hid the _Whisper_. Just a few more hours and he’d be rid of her for good.

As they crested the top, Kylo paused, then killed the engine. 

The girl sat up a little. “What’s happening?”

Ignoring her, he slipped up to the ridge and swore silently. The group of lifeforms he had sensed turned out to be a whole colony of Jawas, loading every salvageable part of his ship into their sandcrawler. Grabbing his blaster, he marched down the hill, picking off as many of the scavengers as he could before they all ran for the safety of their giant fortress. As the transport began to pick up speed, closing its hatch, Kylo held up his hand, slowing the crawler’s movement as he stalked forward. He shot a few of the braver Jawas that poked their heads out, trying to hit him with their ion blasters, when his ears caught the distinctive whine of a landspeeder powering up.

Releasing the Jawas’ base, he charged up the dune just in time to see the girl slam the speeder into gear and take off back in the direction of Niima Outpost. His anger and frustration fueled him as he reached out and ripped out the landspeeder’s wiring, flipping it over and sending its still-cuffed passenger flying facedown into the sand.

As he slogged across the desert, Kylo muttered a series of long and colorful curses upon Hux and all his misbegotten ancestors for giving him this fragging assignment. When he reached the girl, he realized she hadn’t moved since her impact with the ground, and he felt a seed of panic. If he had accidentally killed the Supreme Leader’s prize, Snoke would be… _displeased_. He knelt down and lifted her shoulder to roll her over when she suddenly grabbed his wrist and threw out a wild kick at his side, dumping him into the sand and clogging his mask’s sensors.

Shaking his head to clear it, he watched her race toward the far ridge until he used his last bit of Force-strength to yank her back. She was still scrabbling, still trying to move when his control snapped and he ignited his saber inches from her head.

The girl froze, still breathing heavily, then slowly looked along the crackling red energy up to his silver-plated mask. Kylo was irritated (but slightly intrigued) to see anger, more than fear, in her eyes as she examined the lightsaber.

“You still want to kill me,” he observed curiously, in spite of himself.

“That’s what happens when you’re being hunted by a creature in a mask,” she spat at him, and Kylo abruptly wondered what she would do if he took his helmet off. Would she hate him less? Fear him more?

Angrily dismissing the idea, he stepped back and gestured in the direction of the ship with his saber. “Move.”

His temper did not improve when they arrived at the remains of the _Whisper_. 

The wings were mostly intact, given that they were too tall for the Jawas to reach without the height of their fortress, but the body of the ship was completely gutted. He took one silent tour, observing the stripped wiring, missing plates, and empty navigation systems before storming out to the sand and slicing into the dune with his lightsaber, leaving glowing scars of glass in his wake.

“That’ll help,” he heard muttered sarcastically behind him and he turned to point the weapon in her direction.

“Do not test me,” he menaced. “Not when every part of my ship has been destroyed and I’ve been saddled with the most irritating prisoner in the galaxy.”

“Not to mention you wrecked your own landspeeder,” she added sweetly.

He took two steps forward before he stopped himself, part of him reveling slightly as she flinched, and the rest of him perplexed at how quickly her fear gave way to defiance.

“Stolen.”

He stared. “What?”

“Jawas don’t destroy things, they steal them,” she corrected. “For trade.” Glancing around at the metal structure, she remarked, “They’ll make a shiny credit for this haul. Come sunrise, they’ll be selling parts to every scrapper this side of the Sinking Fields.”

About to find some bit of metal to crush in his hand, Kylo halted as she murmured to herself, “Although they’ll probably head straight to Old Meru’s if they thinking of skipping the Outpost-”

“You.”

The girl frowned at the interruption. 

Deactivating his lightsaber, he pointed at her as an idea formed. “You know where they’re going.”

She retreated, hands up. “I know where they _might_ go. And I’m certainly not going to tell you if you’re just going to kill them all.”

“How else do you suggest I repair my ship?” He growled.

She shrugged. “Trade something.”

“What, exactly?”

“You could always trade me,” she offered, raising a challenging eyebrow. “Much rather be a Jawa metalscrubber than kidnapped by a monster.”

Shooting her a glare, Kylo forced himself to consider his options. He could return to the settlement, demand another aircraft. Or hail a First Order ship.

He wrinkled his nose in disgust. Hux would have a field day with that. Kylo Ren, The Fury himself, begging for a ride.

“Look,” the girl sighed, startling him out of his thoughts. She was much closer than he realized, which he found profoundly unsettling. “Promise me you won’t kill anyone, and I’ll negotiate for you.”

A long moment passed. “Why do you care?” He asked finally.

She tilted her head and narrowed her eyes. “Why don’t you?”

They locked gazes, and despite his mask, Kylo somehow felt uncomfortably exposed to her piercing eyes.

“Fine,” he bit out. “Get me my parts and I’ll do my best not to kill them.”

After leveling him a hard look, the girl nodded. “Fine. Don’t kill anyone, and I’ll do my best to negotiate.” She held up her bound hands. “So are you fixing the speeder, or shall I?”


	2. The Girl

* * *

“You know, this would go a lot faster if I could use both of my hands,” the girl snarked from under the landspeeder. 

In response, Kylo sat and stared. With an annoyed grunt, she rolled her eyes at him and continued working, muttering inaudible complaints until the engine roared to life.

Getting to her feet, she dusted off her hands and jerked her head to the transport. “Let’s go.”

As they made their way along Pilgrim’s Road, he could feel her gaze as she studied him. “So what should I call you? Monster? Knight? Captor? O Masked One?” 

He did his best to ignore her, but it was growing difficult.

“Do you even have a name? Or do you only get one of those if you have a soul?”

“They call me The Fury,” he responded tightly. 

His temper was not helped by her loud snort. “Of course they do.” 

Half a dozen dunes passed before she spoke again. “You know, I have one too.”

“What?”

“A  _ name _ . Care to hear it?”

“No.”

Her brows drew together over her fawn-colored eyes. “Why not?”

“No point.”

That earned him a furious glower and a long, frosty silence. After a few hours, they finally spotted the large sandcrawler, as well as the legion of Jawas next to it, all holding up ion blasters.

_ “M'um m’aloo!”  _ The girl greeted as she slowed the speeder.  _ “Ny shootogawa!” _

She leaned over to Kylo. “You know, they’d probably be less suspicious if their main negotiator wasn’t in cuffs.”

About to refuse, he noticed the overwhelming sense of anxiety and fear around him as the small forms hoisted their weapons. Grunting under his breath, he removed her restraints with a solemn vow. “You run, I start shooting.”

Giving him a mirthless smile, the brunette dished back, “I’d expect nothing less.”

His Jawa was limited, but enough to understand the basics of their Trade Talk as the girl was invited to sit on the bargaining mat by their leader. She smiled in thanks and sat cross-legged, waving Kylo over to join her.

The crowd in front of them jabbered uneasily as he stalked forward with equal mistrust.

“They don’t like you very much,” she informed him out of the side of her mouth.

“The feeling’s mutual,” he grumbled.

A sea of wary red eyes watched him carefully as the Jawa on the mat crossed its arms.  _ “Etee uwanna waa.” _

“They want to know what you have to trade for the parts.”

“Nothing! These are  _ my parts! _ They stole them from me, now I want them back!” He demanded, and the Jawas reached for their weapons at the same he reached for their leader’s mind.

A firm grip settled on his gloved wrist. “Unless you can mind-control every single one of them, I’d suggest you stop while you’re still alive,” she bit out between clenched teeth.

He flicked his gaze from her to the myriad of armed Jawas pointing dozens of ion blasters their way, then slowly lowered his hand.

One of them pointed at him and chittered loudly.

“What about your armor?” The scavenger translated.

“No.”

_ “Yanna kuzu peekay,” _ she explained with a sideways glare.

The Jawa countered.

“Just your helmet, then.”

“No.”

She turned to him in irritation. “Why not? You must have more.”

“It is forbidden. I have sworn to the Knights. No one may see my face.”

“Then I’m sure your lightsaber would-”

_ “No.” _

Sighing, she spread her hands in supplication.  _ “U’lay tay? Shane sloo ma.” _

After a quick huddle, the leader turned to her.  _ “Man’ea mana sooka.” _

Kylo frowned as he turned to the girl. “The eggs? What eggs?”

The community-wide chant of  _ “Sooka, sooka, sooka!” _ nearly drowned out the scavenger’s muttered curse. 

“Kark.”

…

“What exactly are nightwatchers?” Kylo inquired darkly as they trudged across the sand.

“They're massive worms. Twenty meters long when fully grown, although some can get to five or six times that size. They'll eat anything - flesh or metal. I’ve seen one swallow a speeder bike whole.”

He glanced back at the sandcrawler. “Explain to me how killing all of them wouldn’t be easier than this idiotic task.”

“What’s this? Is The Fury  _ scared  _ of a single sandworm?” 

“I have better things to do than serve as an errand boy for sand rodents.”

“Like delivering kidnapped girls to Imperial rodents?” She needled.

He scowled ineffectively as they continued, until she pointed to a small valley between a series of dunes with a small, submerged cave to the side.

“There. That’s their nest.”

Reminding himself that this ridiculousness would all be over soon, Kylo rechecked his blaster and saber, then motioned the girl to come closer.

“What? I’ve already told you what I kno-”

The click of the binders cut off the rest of her sentence.

She stopped, then nearly snarled,  _ “Seriously? _ After everything I’ve-”

“Don’t move.”

As he marched toward the cave, he could still feel the heat of her murderous look on his back. He was considering where the farthest spot in his ship would be to stash her until they reached Snoke when he realized the sand was moving beneath him. 

Rolling out of the way, he came up with his blaster ready, only to see a small T-shaped head sticking out of the sand - no more than half a meter tall with red, unblinking eyes on either end.

Annoyed at himself for his fear, the girl for creating it, the Jawas for this absurd situation, and Hux for good measure, Kylo turned to her and snapped, “That’s it?”

“Look out!” She shouted, and he jumped to the side in time for a huge, toothy maw erupting from the sand to miss him by inches.

“Skugging sandworm-” he swore, reaching for his lightsaber and slicing into its reddish-gray side, causing the creature to roar as the long, many-legged body disappeared into the sand.

Poised and at the ready for it to attack again, Kylo grew increasingly uneasy as the sand was silent and still underneath his feet until a scream broke the air. Whipping his head up, he saw another nightwatcher head lift out of the ground directly in front of the scavenger, who was scrambling desperately up the dune to try and escape.

He sprinted across the valley, red light reflecting in the twilight sky when the first worm burst out of the sand to his right, catching his arm in its teeth and flinging him to the ground as two blue tongues clamped down on the fiery weapon. Bellowing in pain, he tried to pull free as the girl shrieked again. 

Twisting around, he could just see her somersault away from the pursuing nightwatcher, but it was closing the distance between them fast. Summoning the rest of his strength, he reached through his pain to slow its movement, at least giving her enough time to roll out of the way as her attacker snapped closed on a mouthful of sand instead.

His worm screeched in anger as it slithered around, trying to swallow the rest of him. More tongues held him in place as the huge mouth opened to swallow him whole, and part of him wondered if this was how he was actually going to die. 

Suddenly a shadow passed in front of the setting sun and ran up the creature’s back.

Kylo blinked as the lithe form leapt forward, bound arms wrapping around its eyestalk as she hung on with her full weight, sending the worm careening to the side. As its grip loosened, Kylo ripped through its jaw with his saber, then swung up and around, slashing through its head. 

Not a breath later, he knelt and jammed his weapon backward just as the second nightwatcher emerged from below, its own momentum carrying it through the lightsaber’s path. It let out one last shriek as its eyes grew dim, collapsing next to its unmoving companion.

Breathing heavily through his mask, Kylo checked around to make sure there weren’t any more enemies before deactivating his lightsaber. His gaze stopped when he saw the girl flat on the ground, her own breaths echoing across the empty sand as she stared at him, both in slight disbelief at their survival.

“Ren,” he found himself saying in the loud silence.

The girl wrinkled her brow in confusion.

“My name,” he clarified, then hesitated. “Yours?”

She watched him for a long moment. “Rey.”

He gave her a curt nod, then got to his feet with a slight groan before shuffling over to cautiously offer his hand. After a brief pause, she slipped her work-roughened hand into his own, allowing him to help her stand. In spite of his visor, something in her eyes captured him, pulled him in. Her fingers lingered in his palm a second too long, sending warmth even through his glove.

Dropping her hand as if it burned him, he marched into the cave without a second glance, her name still singing in his mind.

_ Rey. _


	3. The Defense

* * *

The Jawas met their return with loud shouts of joy, ignoring their blood and bruises to snatch the large egg sacs from their arms. With a triumphant cry, they sliced the eggs open and started to feast, sending the least important members of the tribe to load up Kylo’s parts onto the landspeeder. 

Rey ran interference as Kylo stalked among the scavengers, easing the terror caused by his snarls while she bargained for additional supplies. When they finally left, the landspeeder piled high with every stolen bit of his ship, the Jawas waved and cheered behind them, occasional chants of _“Sooka!”_ echoing across the sand.

They spent most of the ride back in silence, although Kylo wasn’t sure if Rey’s quiet was from exhaustion or the reminder of her fate.

_Rey._

Her name still hummed through his mind, ringing aloud every time he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. 

What did Snoke want with her?

She was a decent fighter, surviving in this barren wasteland, but Snoke had armies aplenty. There was no way she had any valuable information, given how she made her living scrapping metal.

So why?

The dusty road offered no answers, and when they finally reached what was left of the _Whisper_ , his mood soured even further.

“This’ll take days,” he growled, surveying the remains of his ship.

“I can help.”

He snapped his head around to see her running her hand along the wing. “It’s an _Upsilon_ class command shuttle, right?”

Kylo’s brows furrowed in surprise as she circled the nose.

“I recognize the design. I scrapped a bunch of _Lamda_ classes a few years back, and these are just T-4a’s with fancier tech.” Turning back to him, she added, “There’s a price, though,” and held up her cuffed hands.

“No.”

“Oh, come on. You’re going to disable the landspeeder anyway, right?” His annoyed silence affirmed her guess as she continued, “And you’ll be looking over my shoulder the whole time. Besides the fact that you only got those parts back because of me.”

Narrowing his eyes, he waited a long beat, then finally asked, “Why?”

She sighed. “Look, I’d rather get whatever this is over with than sit here for days and get eaten by ripper-raptors and gnaw-jaws because you’re fumbling with wiring.”

He gave her a measuring stare as he considered his options, which were looking as lean as his ship. Rey jangled the binders with an inviting smile, and he gave out a put-upon huff of air.

_“Fine.”_

…

Although he’d never admit it, Rey was worth a full maintenance facility by herself. He was certainly capable of reassembling most of the circuitry, but she was _damn_ good at it. After working for half the night in the light of the twin moons, Kylo begrudgingly called their work to a halt. At least most of the essential sensors were back in their rightful place, and Rey’s suggestion that they’d need the sunlight to accurately weld the panels on was… not _wrong_ , anyway.

He clicked the cuffs back on with only an eyeroll from Rey, who immediately curled up on a spare mat and fell asleep. Suspicious of both her help and compliance, Kylo eschewed the sleeping quarters and set himself up by the main bay door, ready to intercept whatever poorly-conceived escape attempt she had planned.

“Morning!”

His blaster was in his hand before he had any conscious thoughts, and an airy laugh accompanied the nudge to his leg. 

“C’mon sleeping Sunesi! This ship isn’t going to fix herself!” She smiled, then held out her bound wrists for him to unlock. Once she was free, she skipped off to the dwindling pile of parts atop the landspeeder.

Scowling, Kylo mumbled something about scavengers who were far too cheerful far too early in the morning, but got to his feet anyway. He paused halfway up, narrowing his eyes when he realized that despite his sound sleep, she hadn’t run away. Or killed him.

“Here, help me with this durasteel, would you?”

Setting aside his misgivings, Kylo assisted her with the hull, holding the panel in place as she welded it with easy skill.

“A few more of these and then we can work on the engines,” she informed him with glee. “I’ve never seen a 200a up close, but those sublights are pure beauty. I mean, I’ve scrapped my share of the P-s6 twin ion engines, but they’re usually shredded or melted beyond use.”

As soon as humanly possible, he sent her off to moon over the engines so he could hear himself think. He tasked himself with the finishing touches to the nav system and the shield generators, a bit of tension rolling away as each of the sensors blinked to life. The final check of the long-range scan-mode sensor array eased most of his worry as the moons started to rise.

“How’s it going in here?” She chirped, and he spared her a slight tilt of his helmet.

“Good. How are the engines?”

“Just about ready. I say we turn in, then I can have them ready first thing in the morning once I get some proper light.”

Her demeanor felt a hint too forced, but perhaps he was just tired.

“Sure,” he sighed, then frowned as she offered her hands to him with nary a word of complaint. One would think the lack of resistance would be a relief, but instead it just made him… uneasy.

…

The clink of the cuffs unlocking felt as loud as a laser cannon in the night air.

As Kylo remained still, the girl crept silently outside to the landspeeder, ducking beneath it to bypass the locking mechanism altogether. A few twists of wire and she rolled out to claim her freedom.

“Going somewhere?” A metallic voice inquired blandly.

Rey leapt about a foot in the air, then stared, eyes wide with panic at the sight of Kylo, the weak moonlight reflecting off his mask as his cloak billowed ominously behind him.

She pulled out the welding torch and held it aloft. “I’m leaving. Now. The only way to stop me is to kill me, and that would anger your evil little masters, wouldn’t it?”

When he made no move to prevent her from moving, Rey slowly backed toward the speeder, still keeping her makeshift weapon between them.

“Who are you?”

Turning slightly, as if expecting a trap, she furrowed her brows. “What?”

“Why would Snoke want you?”

Her face paled. “S-Snoke? The Leader of the First Order sent you?”

Kylo stepped forward as Rey nearly fell over to get away from him. “You. A scavenger.” He mused aloud, ignoring both her question and the wavering tool. “A no one.”

Her flinch told him the barb struck true.

“Stay away from me!” She demanded, then tried to sear him with the torch. He batted it away as he advanced, cornering her against the edge of the speeder.

“You know I can take what I want,” he murmured with quiet threat, lifting a hand as if to caress her face. 

Her terror grew as he pressed through the defenses of her mind, searching for answers.

_“No!” A child screams, staring up at the sky. “Come back!”_

_Fear that they’re gone forever. Fear that they’ll never return._

_Hundreds of scratches on a metal wall._

“You're so lonely,” he whispered, memories of a few moments of kindness in a sea of cruelty passing through her mind as tears coursed down her cheeks.

_Fear that they can’t find her. Fear that she missed them. Fear that they never looked._

“So afraid to leave.”

He felt a small spark of hope, one that she clung to in the cold nights.

“At night, desperate to sleep... you imagine an ocean.” 

_Crashing waves, salt-stung air, a refuge of rocks and grass. A promise of something new._

“I see it. I see the island.” He stopped. The island she saw felt… familiar, somehow. A presence he knew...

Rey twisted in vain, trying to escape. “Get out of my head,” she hissed, fierce through the agony.

Chasing down the island, Kylo scowled when it only grew further away in her mind, a mist hiding it from his sight. About to press more forcefully, he suddenly halted, trying to isolate the odd sensation he had of being… pushed away?

Opening his eyes, he stared in utter and complete disbelief as Rey painstakingly lifted her head, leaning forward as he instinctively retreated. A pressure formed on his mind as she inexplicably, _impossibly_ , met his eyes and growled out, “You. You’re afraid.”

His eyes widened as his own memories began to rise.

_A charred helmet. Fear of failure. Echoes of a single name in a myriad of voices._

With a final, defiant effort, she bit out, “You’re afraid you’ll never be as strong as Darth Vader!”

He stumbled backwards, the pounding of his heart deafening to his own ears.

She was a Force-user.

Not sensitive, like most of the Knights, or hell, a portion of the galaxy, but a genuine Force-user.

Her untrained, raw potential was staggering.

His gut clenched as the next realization hit.

_That’s_ why Snoke wanted her.

They stared at each other in the darkness with shuddering breaths, adrenaline flowing through their veins, a mirror to their victory only a day before. 

As she reached for the torch and he palmed his saber, a soft ping rang out across the sand.

In one motion, they looked to the north, where a speeder bike roared over the dune with a hail of blaster fire. Rushing forward, Kylo deflected each blast with his saber, marching the red streaks closer and closer to the bike’s passenger until he slumped over in his seat.

Rey raced up the dune to grab the hunter’s blaster, pausing to meet Kylo’s gaze as they both hefted their weapons. A chorus of engine whines drew their focus back to the ridge, and in an unspoken treaty, they moved together, back to back and eyes on the surrounding darkness.

More bolts rang out to his left, and as he parried, Kylo heard the distinct click of a blaster not firing.

“Safety,” he told her with a jerk of his chin, and felt a strange amount of relief at the familiar glower she sent him before taking the safety off and shooting into the night. They fended off three more bounty hunters, each armed with blasters and blinking tracking fobs with a combination of Kylo’s deflections while Rey shot around him.

Once the haze of the battle died down, they slowly straightened, then turned; each waiting to see if the other attacked first. Glancing behind her, Rey stepped carefully in the direction of the speeder. Kylo, unwilling to harm her, and even more unwilling to consider why, watched her cautious retreat with growing anger. If she didn’t run, he wouldn’t have to hurt her. Yet here she was - forcing his hand. 

A few steps away from the speeder, her eyes, still narrowed in distrust, suddenly grew wide.

“Look out!” She shrieked as he heard the sound of a light repeating blaster rifle. Twisting around, he parried the first two shots, slowed the third, then watched in horror as a fourth flew directly at Rey.

Without any conscious thought, he lunged, pushing Rey to safety just as she fired her weapon at the intruder. A searing pain ripped across his chest, and as Kylo fell, he watched those fawn-colored eyes lock with his, lips parted in a silent cry as her hand stretched out towards his own.

It was the last thing he saw before darkness swallowed him.


	4. The Choice

* * *

Kylo snapped awake with a gasp.

His attempt to sit up was ferociously halted by a sharp pain in his side, and he felt the edges of a bacta pad against his skin through the torn fabric. In a desperate movement, he reached for his head, letting out a breath of relief as he realized his helmet was still in place.

Memories started to trickle into his mind.

Her escape.

His interrogation.

Her power.

The bounty hunters.

Pushing her out of the way.

White-hot pain, burning across his side.

Then black.

Sitting up gingerly on the bed, he assessed his surroundings, brows knitting together in confusion.

He was on the _Whisper_.

A functioning _Whisper_ , by the low hum of the engines. Activating his helmet's scanner, Kylo found a single heat signature, located in the cockpit. Padding softly out of the sleeping quarters, he snatched his lightsaber off of the bench (what kind of enemy left him a weapon?) and silently made his way front.

Slipping down the corridor, he took a calming breath, then moved into the cockpit with his hand up, ready to crush the mind of whoever-

His hand froze, then slowly fell to his side.

It was Rey; curled up in the co-pilot’s seat and snoring softly.

Scanning the ship once more, he confirmed that there were no other lifeforms onboard, then sat heavily in the adjoining seat, trying to make any sense of this situation. With another suspicious glance at the sleeping girl, he brought up his helmet’s visual log.

He skipped back to the night before, starting at her escape attempt and flinching a little at the naked terror on her face as he pried into her mind. Skimming through the fight, he resumed the video when his body hit the ground, the frame steady as her face came into view.

As he watched, her expression morphed from worried to relieved when her arm drew back, presumably from taking his pulse. She suddenly paused, then peered around at the empty battlefield in realization. Jamming her blaster into her belt, she took off for the speeder, throwing herself in and flicking the startup switches at lightning speed in order to leave him and the rest of the bounty hunters far, far behind.

Until she stopped.

Fingers hovering above the throttle, she just… sat there. Kylo checked the screen twice to make sure it hadn’t frozen, but the numbers still ran as Rey remained motionless. Then, ever-so-slowly, she turned back to stare at him.

Kylo’s frown deepened as she glanced from his prone body to her speeder, let out a long breath, and climbed out. Leaning forward in a useless attempt to see her face, Kylo watched as she disappeared from view, and with a grunt, began dragging him into the ship. The distant sounds of metal clanging and the thrumming of the engines told him that she fixed the _Whisper_ while he recovered in the sleeping compartment, but that didn’t solve any of the true questions in his mind.

_Why hadn’t she killed him?_

He watched it again.

_Why had she saved him?_

And again.

_Why give up everything - her life, her safety, her_ freedom _\- to help him?_

The girl shifted in her sleep, and Kylo turned off the recording to study her in vicious detail. Her freckled cheeks pillowed on callused hands. She looked so young. Open. Fierce. Innocent. Cunning. Angry. Kind.

Nothing about _her_ made any sense.

Scooping her up, ignoring the warmth spreading across his chest, he traced his way back to the crew quarters, depositing her gently on the bed. The bacta stung his side as he moved, forcefully reminding him that he needed to eat something. She shivered a little as he stood, and he noticed her skin, pale and prickled by the cold.

He marched away to find some provisions, leaving his dark cloak settling warmly around her as she slept.

…

A loud beep and blinking blue light interrupted the quiet of space, and he reached to silence it a moment too late.

“Ren!” Hux’s voice snapped out, and Kylo scowled at his projected miniature from behind his visor. “Finally. Where have you been?”

“There were… delays.”

“Do you have the asset?” The ginger demanded harshly.

He half-turned toward the sleeping bay. 

“Yes,” the word was almost pulled from him.

“Good. Snoke is getting impatient. I’ve sent you our coordinates.” Hux fixed him with a haughty glare. “We’ll expect you shortly.”

The blue figure went dark just as he heard a soft shuffle from behind him. He swiveled around to see Rey standing silently in the doorway. The effect of her disheartened eyes and his cloak enveloping her small form twisted his stomach in new and discomfiting ways.

Setting their course, he jumped into hyperspace, then rose, avoiding her gaze as he held out a ration bar. She frowned at him as she took the silver packet. “What is this?”

“Food,” he answered shortly, hoping it was the only question she’d ask. “You should eat.”

He left before she could say anything else, leaving her to sink into the copilot’s chair alone.

…

They came out of lightspeed a few hours later, the overpowering presence of the Mega class Dreadnought drowning out the neighboring stars in his viewscreen. 

As he glided into the massive docking bay, he wondered how - or what - he was going to tell the girl. How to tell her everything she did, everything she gave up, was for nothing.

But when he started toward the cabin and saw her in the corridor, she held out her wrists in silent compliance, rendering the entire exercise useless. He clicked the binders on and led her to the ramp, where she murmured softly, “You don’t have to do this.”

He angled his mask towards her before staring straight ahead. “I have sworn to follow the Code.”

“Which is?”

“Take what the galaxy offers. Consume what the Shadow sends. Honor the work of the Hand.” The oath fell easily from his lips, but for the first time it felt… hollow.

“Take what the galaxy offers, hmm?” She repeated, a tight, joyless smile pulling at her face. “I don’t know any other Knights of Ren, but I know plenty of people who follow that.”

The pure hopelessness in her tone, a stark contrast to the rest of his time with her, left an odd feeling in the pit of his stomach as the ramp opened with a pneumatic hiss. He watched Rey’s head swivel around to stare at the squads of stormtroopers and pairs of black-clad officers moving across the polished floor, the hum and thrum of engines and droids running in the background while Hux marched forward, a pleased look on his face.

“At last,” he observed mockingly. “There was concern that she would be too much for you.” 

Ignoring the dark glare sent his direction by both of them, the Admiral leaned back to study Rey. “So. This is what all the fuss is about.”

Hux circled her slowly, Kylo’s grip on his saber tightening with every step. “Strange. She doesn’t look like she’d be worth anything.” Reaching for her face, the ginger leered, “Except perhaps as a Nal Hutta night breeder-”

A second before Kylo ignited his lightsaber, Rey slammed her elbow into Hux’s nose, the loud crunch commanding stunned silence in the hanger. As the Admiral howled in pain, one of the flanking troopers raised his arm to strike her before he found Kylo Ren’s strong grip around his wrist.

“Snoke wants her unharmed,” his mild words contrasted sharply with the crack of the man’s bones.

“Take her to interrogation!” Hux raged, blood gushing through his hands. _“Now!”_

Rey’s smirk at the redhead faded as the guards yanked her away. He watched her through his visor, waiting for her anger, expecting her hate, but when she glanced up at him, her eyes were filled with something dangerously close to disappointment. A single tear tracked down her cheek as she kept his gaze all the way to the corridor, and when the black wall cut her off from his sight, he felt almost… bereft.

“What does he want with her?”

The question was out before he could stop it, and Hux furrowed his brow as medics quickly tended to his wound.

“Are you questioning the Supreme Leader, Ren?”

“No.”

The Admiral’s green-gray eyes narrowed. “I should think not.” The blood staunched, he straightened and sneered with only a small wince. “He wants to see you.”

Swallowing, Kylo stalked past the ginger and made his way to Snoke’s throne room, taking a moment to clear his mind, lest his master think something was amiss. Once all thoughts that were not only of loyalty and service were stuffed far, far beneath his defenses did Kylo enter and kneel before the Supreme Leader.

“Well done, my good and faithful apprentice,” Snoke nodded. “You have brought me the girl. I wondered if perhaps you would be too weak to fulfill the task, but now my faith in you is restored.”

Ducking his head further, he was alarmed when his traitorous mouth spoke without permission. “What will you do with her?”

A low laugh rasped from Snoke’s throat. “You have glimpsed her power, haven’t you?”

He hesitated. “She is strong in the Force,” he admitted, unsure why it felt like a betrayal.

“Yes,” Snoke gloated. “Untrained. Unmolded. Brimming with potential. Every master’s dream.”

The slight struck true, and Kylo couldn’t stop an instinctive flinch.

“I will harness her raw power, and she will either turn,” his yellow eyes lit up with glee as he hissed, “or she will be _unmade.”_

Visions of his training, but with Rey at the center, filled his mind. Snoke crushing her, breaking her, shattering her until she screamed, until she wept, until all that was left of her fiery spark was darkness and blood and hate.

Like him.

“She would make a fine companion for you,” Snoke interrupted his thoughts, the scarred visage breaking into a cruel smile as he chuckled, “Or a worthy competitor.”

He waved a hand. “Go. You have brought honor to me, and to the Shadow. Rejoin your Knights until I have further use for you.”

Bowing, Kylo turned and passed the Praetorian Guard, each red helmet tracking his movement as he left the throne room. Suppressing a shiver, he marched toward his ship, stormtroopers scattering to make way at the sight of his silver-plated mask and large, furious steps.

A sudden need to fly, to escape, to leave Snoke, Hux, ( _her, all of it)_ behind filled his very being. The weight in his stomach, the tightness in his chest, the roaring silence in his ears, they were all distractions, weakness, failings. He just needed another mission, Kylo decided as he stormed into his ship. Needed to reach out to the Shadow, feel the power of the darkness, drown out the call of the light.

Throwing himself into the cockpit, he flicked through the start-up sequence with resolute intent, leaning over the copilot’s seat to rotate the compressor and leave this whole karking mess in his-

He stopped.

Stared at the rumpled form of his cloak in the chair.

_“Rey,” she told him, the slightest hint of a smile on her lips._

_“Look out!” She screamed, the reflection of blaster bolts red in her chestnut eyes._

_Stepping out of her speeder to drag him to safety._

_“You don’t have to do this,” she whispered softly, as if he had a choice._

His hand faltered, brushing against the dark fabric long gone cold, before his fingers curled, one by one, into a clenched fist.

_As if he had a choice._

…

Not that he actually had a plan, but when he marched into the open door of the interrogation room and found nothing but an empty chair, it blew what tiny bits he did have into cosmic dust.

“No!” He shouted, barely resisting the urge to slice his saber into every surface there was. Forcing himself to breathe, to focus his mind, to delve into the Shadow, he tried to sense what had happened. A presence made up of sand and hope, tainted by terror and grief, let out a calming breath, her fear seeping away, and reached tentatively for the light.

Her relief overwhelmed his senses as the ghostly sounds of restraints unlocking and a clatter of metal echoed in his mind, and he could almost see her snatch the weapon off the ground and sneak out of the room.

She was just beginning to test her powers. The longer he took to find her, the more dangerous it would become - for both of them.

Suppressing a growl of rage, he marched into the corridor, ignoring the curious glances of passing stormtroopers and searched through the Shadow for that trace of desert spark. No location, but there was a strange taste of admiration in spite of fear.

Ships. 

She was heading for the hangar bay.

Turning on his heel, Kylo lengthened his stride and made his way to the hangar, telling himself that at least there weren’t any alarms y-

A loud blaring came over the speakers. “Alert. Alert. Disturbance in sector 718.”

Muffling a stream of curses, he raced toward the sector, finally rounded the corner in time to see Rey firing a stolen blaster rifle down a hallway, her sense of desperation growing as a full troop of soldiers came into view and steadily advanced toward her.

Her head suddenly snapped up to stare at him, her grip on her weapon shifting anxiously. They both stood a moment, the sounds of the alarms and marching feet fading as her eyes searched his mask.

He quickly lifted his outstretched arm, Rey raising her blaster in response, fingers hovering reluctantly over the trigger as he swept his hand to the side, sending the entire squad of stormtroopers crashing into the wall.

As she blinked at him, stunned into stillness, he pointed down the corridor and shouted, “The ship. _Now!”_

Recovering from her paralysis, she ran into the hangar, firing her rifle haphazardly as pockets of soldiers shot at her from all sides. Kylo followed behind, parrying bolts with his saber and causing legions of troopers to collapse to the floor around them. Shutting the ramp behind him, he rushed to the cockpit, where Rey had already spun up the engine and was activating the shield generators.

Finishing the startup sequence, Kylo switched over to the _Whisper_ ’s heavy laser cannons and took a few shots at the handheld blaster cannons they were rolling out before lifting off and speeding outside.

“Tractor beam should be firing any second,” he hissed to himself as he rushed to jump to lightspeed.

“Oh, I… took care of that,” she told him, a tad sheepishly. “For my own escape.”

He regarded her in silent surprise for a beat, then realized that he really shouldn’t believe he could predict anything about her at this point. Guiding the lever up, the stars around them lengthened into lines, and he let out a small breath of relief that was loudly echoed from Rey’s chair.

They did it. They had actually escaped from the Supreme Leader’s ship. Alive.

For now.


	5. Flight

* * *

Once the rush of their escape wore off, Kylo found Rey staring at him from her copilot’s seat. Figuring she’d spit it out eventually, he focused on searching starmaps for possible destinations.

“Why did you come back for me?”

He paused, then kept clicking through the lists of nearby planets. No point in giving her an answer when he didn’t have one himself.

The silence stretched between them, and he soon felt a careful, prodding pressure in the back of his mind.

He sighed irritably. “Stop that.”

Rey sat back, eyes wide as she processed her new information. “You don’t know,” she repeated aloud, half-questioning, half-confirming.

When he didn’t respond, a hysterical burst of laughter escaped from his left before Rey clapped her hand over her mouth. Raising an eyebrow under his helmet, he turned to fix her with a dark glare. 

“Sorry, it’s just… It’s good to know that neither of us has a plan,” she grinned, still amused and incredulous.

“I have a plan.”

Leaning forward to see the nav system, Rey asked, “Which is what, exactly? Hide?”

His continued focus on the maps answered for him.

“Right. Well, if you find a planet where the First Order can’t find us, do let me know.”

“The _Whisper_ has several passive-mode sensors and a long-range scan-mode sensor array, not to mention the-”

“Sensor jammer nodes on the lower wings, I know. I did repair them, after all.” Sighing, Rey watched the list of potential planets shrink. “If you’re just going to hide, might as well drop me back off on Jakku.”

Kylo snapped up his head to stare at her, utterly bewildered, about to ask why she wanted to return to that dust-ridden skug hole of a-

“I’ve already been away too long,” she murmured almost to herself.

The small child screaming up at the sky flittered across his memory, along with the low, secret dread she hid in the corners of her mind.

“They’re not coming back,” he told her, not unkindly.

Eyes flashing as she glared at him, Rey snarled back, “You don’t know that.”

He waited a beat, then softly replied, “But you do.”

Storming to her feet, eyes bright, Rey opened her mouth, then closed it and marched out of the cockpit. She made it three steps before she turned on her heel and stalked back in.

“Why the pfassk does Snoke want me anyway?” She demanded, gesturing angrily. “You said it yourself, I’m no one, from nowhere. I don’t understand. What changed? What does he think I-” As she paced in the small space, Kylo could feel the frustration and fear rolling off of her. 

“Nobody has ever cared about me in my entire life, and all of a sudden I have bounty hunters, the First Order, and _Snoke_ after me! Why now? Why does everyone in the whole fragging galaxy want me? Everyone except-”

Tears choked off the rest of her sentence, and Kylo heard Rey’s true question echoed in muffled sobs from the same girl who shouted at the sky. 

_“No!” She begged, arm gripped tight, holding her in place. “Come back!"_

_“Why didn’t they want me?” She wept, hugging herself on a thin mat in a room of cold, rusted metal._

_Another heartbroken voice joined the girl’s sorrow._

_“Why did they leave me?” A boy whispered, afraid others would overhear him, even in his own mind._

_“Why didn’t they want me?”_

A moment passed before Kylo realized what had happened, and too late he slammed his defenses in place, shutting her out of his head as Rey gaped at him.

_Damn her._

Not even Snoke could slip past his defenses that easily - let alone call up memories from a lifetime ago. 

He stood, his breath loud through his mask, and after forcing his anger back under control, he fled the cockpit, pausing briefly at the door to glance back.

“That’s why,” he rasped, leaving a stunned Rey behind him.

…

After a few ration bars, he shuffled into the corridor, trying to figure out how to tell the girl that they were never to speak of what had happened when the entire ship shook with a force that nearly sent him to his knees. He staggered into the cockpit as Rey was toggling every switch she could reach.

“What are you doing?”

“I am _trying_ to keep us alive,” she snapped, finally silencing the blaring alarm. 

“By doing _what,_ exactl-” his sarcastic reply was cut off by another tremor that sent him stumbling into his seat, where he saw the outline of a TIE Fighter on the nav system. “Oh. That.”

“Yes! ‘That’!”

“Jam his sensors!”

“I did jam his sensors! Right after I shifted auxiliary power to the rear deflector shields and now I’m trying to charge-”

“The cannon cells, I got it!” He shouted in return, leaning back to flick the series of switches above his head.

“Here he comes!” Rey warned, and they both grabbed the secondary gunner controls and pressed the triggers at slightly different times, causing the laser to fire once, then stop.

They turned to glare at the other.

“Are you flying or are you shooting?” Rey demanded.

“I’m doing both!” He argued back. “I don’t need a someone greener than a Rodian flying my ship while we’re being-”

Rey suddenly banked the shuttle to the left, _hard_ , and before he could yell at her again, Kylo saw two green bolts go sailing through their previous location. She raised both eyebrows at him, daring him to finish his sentence.

“I’ll shoot. You fly.” He commanded, attempting an air of control.

With a far-too-gleeful look, Rey shot forward, zig-zagging the large shuttle up and down with surprising ease, causing both the TIE Fighter and Kylo to miss their various shots as the ships danced around each other.

He growled in frustration. “Would you hold still! I can’t get a lock on him.”

“Hang on!”

As the TIE pilot came around for another run, Rey dove the ship straight down, sending the starfighter screaming after them as Kylo gripped his controls and gritted his teeth, knuckles turning white under his gloves.

“What do you think you’re doing?!”

“Get ready!” She hollered, then flipped the craft around, its large wings pointed down and all the loose items on the ship crashing to the ceiling as they came face to face with the TIE and its very confused pilot. “Now!”

Waiting a millisecond after the targeting computer lit up, he focused his sight and fired the twin laser cannons, obliterating the small fighter into space dust and allowing them a moment to breathe matching sighs of relief as Rey slowly righted the shuttle.

“That. Was. Amazing!” Rey gushed, eyes wide as she leaned toward him, Kylo angling away at her enthusiasm. “I had no idea that would work but it did! I’ve flown some ships before but I’ve never even left Jakku and your last shot was dead on! You got him in one blast! It was _incredible!”_

At the last word, she moved in close enough so he could see those flecks of green in her chestnut irises, as well as count in startling detail the amount of freckles on her nose. The combination of her sheer proximity and beaming smile somehow made him panic far more than the actual battle that had just happened. Heart racing, he scrambled out of the chair, then belatedly searched for the cause of the myriad of beeps echoing around them.

“We’re leaking fuel,” he announced with a cough as Rey canted her head and frowned a little at his odd reaction. “We need to land. And soon.”

With one last look of confusion at him, Rey turned and pulled up the nav chart. “I was thinking about that earlier. Maybe we can find a way to contact the Resistance and -”

“No.”

“Look, if we’re running from the First Order, isn’t the Resistance our best chance to-”

“I _said_ , no.”

Clenching her jaw, Rey let out a slow breath, then adjusted the star chart. “Fine. But if we take out all the planets that don’t have starports, then subtract all of the ones controlled by the First Order, and _then_ take into account our shrinking amount of fuel, we’re left with exactly one planet.”

She gestured to the single orb left on the screen.

_“Absolutely_ not.”

...

After a terse discussion punctuated by the ship’s computer persistently informing them in a supercilious tone of their rapidly dwindling fuel supply, they settled on landing on the night side of the planet. They decided to set down close to a middling sized settlement called Narsi, since Kylo insisted on being as far away as possible from the single major city, Andui, to ‘not attract attention’.

As they dropped into atmosphere above the expanse of trees, the sky turning crimson as the sun disappeared behind them, Kylo heard a small gasp. He turned to ask what was wrong when Rey’s awed expression of pure wonder stunned him into silence.

“I never knew there was this much green in the whole galaxy,” she breathed reverently, and something deep within him contorted painfully.

Her enthrallment soon bubbled up into giddiness as she pressed herself against the viewscreen to see as much of the forests and lakes as she could.

“Welcome to Takodana!” Rey chirped gleefully as Kylo set them down in a small clearing, earning her an invisible scowl. “Our new beautiful home! 

“Only for however long it takes to buy parts and fuel up,” he reminded her darkly.

Once the engines were powered down, he peered at the surrounding darkness and sighed. “We’ll check the damage in the morning. No sense getting eaten by whatever’s out there.”

“Sounds good to me.” She hopped out of her chair and stretched. “I assume the all-black deluxe suite that I dragged you into before is yours, right?”

He was unsure if his glare felt sheepish because of the reminder she had saved his life, or the fact that she was judging the look of his room.

Rey grinned. “Thought so. I’ll bunk in the crew’s quarters. Good night!”

As she waved carelessly behind her and disappeared down the hall, it took Kylo a full minute before he finally murmured, “Good night,” in return. He engaged the security protocols and padded to his suite, pausing as he heard movement and soft humming in the quarters next to him. Letting out an irritated huff with himself, Kylo closed the door with a soft hiss, trying to ignore the part of him that wondered why the small, perfunctory exchange suddenly felt so… significant.

…

A sharp knock on his door the next morning sent him scrambling out of bed, shoving on his helmet, and reaching for his saber all in one move. As the door slid open, he half-lunged at an unfazed Rey, who simply announced, “So there’s bad news, good news, and more bad news. Which do you want first?”

He blinked.

“Bad news, the damage is worse than we thought,” she told him, leading him outside to gesture at the wing. “Good news, if we can get some decent parts, I can scrap up a temporary fix to get us to a place with a decent repair facility. More bad news, according to the map, the only place with a functioning maintenance facility on this planet is-”

“No.”

“Some place near Andui called ‘The Castle’,” she finished, ignoring his interruption.

Kylo glowered, speaking each word with careful precision, “We’re. Not. Going. There.”

“Well, unless you can use your evil mind powers to conjure up some fuel, that’s our only option,” she answered back, crossing her arms. “Can you?”

Unwilling to concede, he shifted his gaze away.

“That’s what I thought. Alright, we’re about an hour away from Narsi. We start walking now and we might finish repairs by sundown, provided they have the parts we need. They shouldn’t be too expensive, at least if the prices are close to the ones on Jakku. How much do you have?”

Thrown by the random question, Kylo furrowed his brows. “How much what?”

Rey stared in disbelief. _“Credits._ How many _credits_ do you have?”

When he didn’t answer, Rey dragged her hand across her face and gritted out, “Please tell me you know what credits are.”

“Of course I know what credits are! I just haven’t had to-”

“Use them?” She supplied in a sharp tone. “For food? Or survival? I can tell.” Shaking her head, she muttered bitterly, “Stars help me, I’m stuck with the only evil mastermind in the galaxy without a credit to his name.”

“I have credits!” He snapped. “More than you can imagine! All in my personal account-”

“Which is controlled by the First Order.” Rey pointed out. “Which means you have nothing.” Rubbing her temples, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Okay, think. We can trade. What can we trade? Tools. Some food. Labor, maybe? Someone might be hiring.”

Looking up with determination, she marched back into the shuttle. “Don’t just stand there. Come help!”

By the time they had accumulated what Rey deemed a sufficient variety of bartering options, the sun was high in the sky and Kylo’s temper was even shorter than usual, leading him to snap a bit harshly when she stopped suddenly on the ramp to study him.

“What now?”

Biting her lip, she took in his all-black attire. “Are you really going to walk into a rural settlement looking like…”

“Like what?”

She fumbled for words, then settled with moving her hand down her face and changing her expression to a surly glare. “All… helmet-y.”

Ignoring the fact that her parody was the exact image of his face at the moment, he pinned her with a look that could melt ultrachrome. “Yes.”

“I’m just saying, if we’re hiding from the First Order, we might want to try and be inconspicuous.”

“It is forbidden. I have sworn to the Knights. No one-”

“May see your face, I know, I know. But I’m pretty sure you broke your vow when you busted me out of the First Order.”

“My oath was made to the Knights of Ren,” he informed her frostily. “Not to the First Order. I am still faithful to the Shadow.”

Rolling her eyes, Rey hoisted her bag over her shoulder with a long-suffering sigh. “Fine. Keep your oath and your helmet. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to come yell at me on my [Tumblr](https://happilyeveraftereveryday.tumblr.com)!


	6. Refuge

* * *

Kylo could feel Rey’s smugness growing with each step on the dusty road as every inhabitant of the rustic town of Narsi froze in their tracks to stare at them. 

“Excuse me!” Rey smiled at a fuzzy Frigosian. “Where might we trade for ship parts?”

The small creature beheld Kylo for a full minute before cautiously pointing in the direction of a large wooden structure and chirping a warning.

“Thank you!” She called after it as it scurried rapidly away.

Once they reached the indicated warehouse, a tall, four-armed Volpai with orange skin and purple stripes leaned over the half wall and frowned at them as Rey hefted her large bag of trade-worthy items up onto the countertop. 

“What do you want?” She asked, folding her upper arms as the lower pair rifled through their offerings suspiciously.

“We need durasteel panels, but we’ll take carbo-plas or even ferroceramic if you have it, and any fiberplast or duranex fuel hoses,” Rey informed her with a confident air.

The Volpai raised an eyebrow. “And you bring me leftovers from a rusted repair bay in exchange?” She tossed them back to Kylo. “No deal. Credits, or nothing.”

Kylo stepped forward in righteous anger, clearly offended. “These are pristine items of the highest quality. You’ll be able to sell them-”

“To who? The farmers that come through once a season? The log runners that pass by on their way out to drink?” The merchant shook her head. “No credits, no parts.”

With a slam of her overhead awning, Rey and Kylo were left alone.

“Well _that_ felt familiar,” Rey muttered. 

They trudged the hour back to the _Whisper_ in tense silence, both trying to think of possible fixes for their current mess. 

“I’ll see what I can do with mesh tape and the parts we have,” Rey offered finally, receiving only a grunt in reply. Shooting him a parting scowl, she busied herself with taking inventory and examining every bit of damage, drowning her worries in work. 

...

“Excuse me?” A voice called out, and Rey poked her head out from behind the landing gear to see a dark-haired human accompanied by a hulking, grey-skinned Artiodac cautiously approaching the shuttle.

“Go away!” Kylo shouted from inside, earning a rebuking glower from Rey.

“Sorry about him, he’s… tired,” she gave a wan smile. “How can I help you?”

“Raiders,” rumbled the Artiodac, deep voice resonating through his broad, flat nose. 

“We’re aqua farmers. I’m Torben, this is Mirka. We raise prengalli - sell them for food and their glands for medicine,” the human explained. “But over the past couple months, raiders have been coming in and stealing whatever they could get their hands on. This last time they took our whole harvest!”

“We have money,” his companion added slowly as Kylo emerged from the ship.

“Do I look like some kind of mercenary to you?” He growled, the villagers taking a moment to blink at him, look at each other, then turn back.

“Yes,” they chorused, and Rey snorted in barely contained amusement.

When Kylo glared at her, she simply shrugged. “Told you so.”

“Well, I’m not. Go away.”

“We can pay you!” Torben offered again, holding out a small bag. “The whole village chipped in.”

“Not enough.”

Rey shot him a warning glower. “It’s more than what we have,” she hissed quietly.

“We’re not for hire. Leave. Now.”

The farmers glanced at each other as Kylo stalked back into the shuttle, then looked to Rey pleadingly.

Shaking her head with a sympathetic sigh, Rey turned up her hands. “I’m sorry.”

With heavy steps, the pair began to trudge back to their repulsorlift speeder, Torben loudly complaining in a last-ditch effort for sympathy.

“Took a full day to get here. Now we’ve got to go back, empty-handed, with no protection,” he tossed the last phrase pointedly over his shoulder, “To the middle of nowhere.”

Kylo suddenly reappeared. “Where do you live?”

A frown stretched across Mirka’s broad face. “A farm.”

“Weren’t you listening?” Torben needled.

“In the middle of nowhere,” Kylo repeated, ignoring the jab.

Mirka’s frown deepened. “Yes.”

“You have lodging?”

Torben, leaping onto the slight bit of interest, nodded, “Yes! Yes, we do!”

“Then help,” Kylo demanded loftily, disappearing back inside and pulling out a crate of supplies. Rey, Torben, and Mirka all stared at him in surprise before scrambling to assist.

…

A full day later, they pulled into a small village, consisting of a series of small wooden huts settled around carefully cultivated aqua-farms.

“We brought the prengalli from the Old Home,” Mirka told Rey on the way over, the girl listening in fascination while Kylo rolled his eyes behind his mask. “When we life-mate, we are gifted prengalli from other farms, to start our own. We have a saying, in Basic: ‘New gifts from old friends create new life’.”

“That’s beautiful,” Rey responded, elbowing Kylo sharply when he started to groan in disgust.

“Artiodacs live for centuries,” Torben chimed in with a smile as he sat across from Rey. “Mirka and Kiggo helped my great-grandparents seed the ponds. It’s a simple life, but peaceful.” He glanced at the forest beyond. “At least, it used to be.”

Heads turned as curious children swarmed the repulsor sled, chattering to Torben and Mirka while staring shyly at Rey and Kylo. They giggled a little as she waved at them, then scattered when Kylo turned their direction and glowered.

“Bright days!” A voice greeted, and they looked up to see a dark-skinned woman who bore a strong resemblance to Torben approaching, along with a female Artiodac. “I am Ymera, and this is Kiggo. We are the Speakers for the village. Thank you for coming.”

Kylo inclined his head as Rey smiled in response.

“I see you’ve already met my son Torben. He’ll show you to your lodgings.” Torben, already unloading the repulsorlift, waved to Rey to join him.

“Come,” Ymera gestured to Kylo. “I will show you what defenses we have.”

His gaze was pulled away by Rey’s peal of laughter as she and Torben carried the large crate between them, chatting amiably to each other.

“I don’t-”

“They’ll be fine.”

“But I-”

“They’ll be _fine,”_ Kiggo echoed definitively, although both women bore an amused expression Kylo did not approve of.

Once he toured the pitiful array of wooden pikes and drying racks to hold off attackers, he made his way down to the rough shed they were housed in. Rey, already organizing the weapons and supplies they had brought, looked up with a bright smile as she munched on a bright purple fruit.

“There you are. Hungry? Torben just brought over some food.”

“I’m sure he did,” Kylo mumbled darkly.

“I set up the blankets, but if you’d rather be alone, Ymera said she and Torben have a room I can-”

“This is fine.”

Ignoring his growls, she grabbed a spiky yellow fruit and sat atop the crate. “What do you make of their defenses?”

“Rudimentary. Nothing that would hold back a determined slyyyg, let alone a serious threat,” he sighed. “Come sunup, we’ll check out the path the raiders took. See how many came through and where they went.”

“Torben said nearly half a hundred attacked,” Rey commented as she wrestled with the thorny peel, hissing as she pricked her finger.

“Civilians are shavit witnesses,” he remarked acidly, taking away her fruit and twisting off the stem. 

Rey raised an eyebrow. “And what am I then?” 

“An annoyance,” he deadpanned as he handed the open fruit back, the edible seeds now easily accessible much to Rey’s delight. 

Stuffing her mouth with the red seeds, she looked up with a teasing grin. “ _Your_ annoyance.”

He huffed, but did not disagree.

…

“I’d say about 20 or 30 of them came through on foot,” Rey judged, crouching near a section of dried mud.

Kylo squinted up through his visor in growing unease. “Something big sheared off those branches.”

Standing, Rey glanced through the forest as well, then slowly pointed to a matching section of broken foliage nearby. “Two somethings.”

As they both took in the missing branches and scraped trees, Kylo met Rey's worried gaze with a sigh.

"Bad news," he announced to the gathered villagers when they returned. "You can't live here anymore."

The crowd dissolved into shocked gasps and fearful whispering as Rey glared at him.

"Seriously?"

He leaned back against the wooden structure and crossed his arms. "As if you could do better."

Shaking her head, she muttered, "Can't do much worse."

Rey stepped forward, her hands held out in sympathy. “I’m sorry, I know that’s not what you wanted to hear, but there’s no other choice.”

The villagers disagreed.

“This is our home!”

“You’re supposed to help us!”

“But you took the job!” Torben shouted.

Kylo pushed himself to standing. “Before we knew about the two AT-STs that _you_ didn’t tell us about.”

“The what?”

“The armored walkers with giant guns,” Rey explained, and Kylo’s suspicions were confirmed as the crowd glanced at each other furtively.

Ymera met his gaze firmly. “We have lived here for generations.”

Frustration building, he snapped, “Then move somewhere else and live _there_ for generations. You cannot fight these.”

Silence reigned as his words set in, and Kylo nearly sighed in relief as the end of this ridiculous mess was finally in sight.

“Unless we teach them.”

Swiveling his head to scowl at Rey’s betrayal, he heard a low, rumbling voice speak up.

“Artiodacs are peaceful,” announced Kiggo, commanding respect and attention from the gathered inhabitants. “But the Zygerrians came to our home planet many lifetimes ago, to make us slaves, make us fight. We were sold, made to be gladiators, to protect evil ones, to serve in armies we did not know.”

Her mate, Mirka nodded as he stood alongside her. “When Zygerria fell, we were made to fight no more. We left Artiod, we came here to live, to farm prengalli, to be peaceful again.” The two joined hands as he finished with a shout, “But to keep that peace, we will become fighters again!”

As the crowd cheered in agreement, Rey turned to Kylo with a familiar fire in her eyes. Glowering at her in irritation, he begrudgingly recognized the inevitability of his defeat.

…

Rey quickly organized quarterstaff lessons, the villagers using sharpened sticks with fierce determination, as Kylo reluctantly passed out his supply of blasters to the Artiodacs and humans who knew how to use them. After a full day of training, they certainly weren’t going to conquer any nations, but at least they weren’t… _completely_ hopeless.

“All of this will be for nothing if we can’t stop those walkers,” he grumbled as Rey watched the group shoot against pots and pans, missing more often than not. “They’re designed to destroy hostile forces exactly like this. Brute force won’t work.”

“What about a trap?”

He glanced over as she continued. “Ropes across the trees, high enough so the bandits can’t see them, but low enough to catch the leg joints. If we can get to the unprotected gyros underneath the command module we can destabilize the walker and take it down.”

She must have picked up on his surprised expression beneath his helmet, because she gave a self-confident shrug. “I scrapped more scout walkers on Jakku than I can count. I’m pretty familiar with how they work.”

“Huh.” Pushing past the fact that she kept managing to throw him off-kilter, he asked, “And if they break through?”

Rey frowned in thought. “Is there anything like the Sinking Fields? Something that would pull them in? Or down?”

After a beat, he realized, “The aqua-farms. Dig deep enough and as soon as they step in, they’ll sink straight to the bottom.”

Smiling at him, she canted her head. “Careful. You keep talking like that and people will think you believe we can win.”

“You keep making promises like that and we’ll have to,” he mumbled, earning a bright burst of laughter in response.

…

The next day, they set people to digging as far down as they could in the small ponds, as well as chopping down trees to create barricades and pikes around the village.

Kylo and Ymera were walking along the edge of the town, checking their growing defenses. In the middle of suggesting they secure the barricades with an extra loop of rope, Kylo felt a surge of unexpected, abrupt, unaccounted-for… joy?

As he turned around, searching for a cause, his eyes narrowed as he saw Rey and Torben, laughing together as she demonstrated her quarterstaff attacks again, the young man drawing slightly closer each time he mimicked her movements. A blast of barely controlled anger bubbled up in Kylo’s chest and his hand broke the wooden slat he was holding in half. Ymera stared at him in careful thought as Rey suddenly stopped mid-swing, then glanced around before finding his gaze.

Marching away from the Speaker, Kylo stormed over and snapped, “Come with me.”

Automatically bristling at his tone, Rey demanded, “Why?”

“You need a teacher,” he grit out, stomping to a clearing in the woods, close enough to hear the distant sounds of construction but far enough away that they wouldn’t be distracted.

“Teacher?” Rey repeated as she followed. “For what?”

“For not broadcasting your every thought to anyone with a microcosm of sensitivity.”

She stopped. “My… thoughts? You could hear them?”

“I couldn’t escape the amount of disgusting giddiness you were leaking everywhere.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, did feeling a bit of happiness upset your stomach?” She mocked, pausing in her tracks as he whirled around to point at her.

“And when you feel pain? Anger? Hate?” He hissed. “What then?”

“You shoved your anger on me not a minute ago!”

“I have control around everyone except-” He started, then bit his tongue as Rey tilted her head questioningly. Forcing himself to breathe, he changed tack. “You need to learn control.”

“From _you?”_

He glared daggers, but she only crossed her arms in response, unmoved by his ire. After letting out a long sigh, he gestured to a nearby rock. “Untrained, you’re dangerous to yourself and others. Unless you learn some form of discipline, it’ll keep growing, manifesting itself in ways you cannot predict, until in the end, it will control you.”

Rey considered that a moment, then approached the boulder, her steps faltering just before she climbed up.

“I don’t want to be a Knight of Ren,” she spoke all at once, and Kylo was surprised at how much the fear in her voice stung.

“Using the Force doesn’t make you a Knight,” he replied quietly, then motioned to the rock once more.

She considered that a moment, then sat cross-legged on the flat surface. 

A little gratified, he paced a few steps, formulating his thoughts. “What do you know about the Force?”

“It's a power that Jedi have that lets them control people and make things float.”

Stars help him. She probably believed in the Iego Angels too.

“No,” he cut her off firmly. “It’s not some mystical power you have. It’s not about lifting rocks. It's... tension. Balance. Energy that binds the galaxy together. Like everything in balance, it has two sides. The Ren use the Shadow, what others call the Dark side, the secret arts. The Jedi-” he swallowed, the word leaving a bitter taste in his mouth, “use the Light side. The Ren call it the Sun, and despise it.”

Her brow puckered in confusion.

“The Shadow isn’t founded in hypocritical laws about denying emotions or power, cutting oneself off from everything. It’s about accepting your strength, feeding your desires, using the tools the Shadow offers. It’s stronger, more powerful, easier to use than the Light side.”

“But?”

Kylo stopped to frown at her.

“I know enough about power that there’s always a trade-off. Balance, as you said.”

Sighing, giving in to the small voice that said she deserved to have a choice, he twisted his mouth around. _“But,_ it is… consuming. Once you use it, accept its power, follow the Shadow…”

Her eyes widened. “You can’t go back.”

“You would not want to,” he growled, then rubbed his mask. “The Light side is… difficult to master. The Jedi only used it for defense, for knowledge, at the expense of feeling anything _real_ . They used it to look down on everyone else, to believe themselves better, wiser, more pure.” Clenching his fist, he finished, “They try to _destroy_ everyone who thinks differently.”

Turning, he saw Rey watching him with a look of profound concern. Worried he had revealed too much, Kylo shook his head and changed his tone.

“But all that makes no difference for right now,” he told her. “All you need to do now is to close your eyes,” shooting him one last skeptical glance, Rey took a deep breath and did as asked, “and reach out-”

Before he could finish, Rey stuck her arm straight out in the air, inches from his helmet and his pained expression. As he looked upwards in a silent plea for patience, her fingers grazed the edge of his mask.

“I feel something!” She gasped in excitement.

“Do you now?” He asked flatly.

“I do! It’s cold and-”

As she spread her fingers to feel more of his helmet, he moved back, stepping on a branch and causing her eyes to open. She took a second to realize what had happened, then gestured to her heart and mumbled sheepishly, “Oh. You meant ‘reach out’ like…”

“Just,” he grabbed her hand in irritation and placed it on the rock, ignoring the warmth seeping through his glove. “Breathe. What do you feel?”

Her back straightened as she closed her eyes once more. “The forest,” she murmured, and he could sense her finally tapping into the world around them. Joining her, he followed her spark of grit and hope as it flowed to a nest of brown and gold convors, the father bringing food to its young.

“Life.” 

She trickled downward, settling around a skeleton of a small rodent. “Death,” she whispered sadly, then traced the humming thread that connected it to the soil, the roots of plants and trees using it to grow tall and strong.

“Decay, that feeds new life,” she observed, her spark of hope growing brighter.

The sun shone upon her rock.

“Warmth.” 

Water swirled in the large lake to the south.

“Cold.”

One of the oldest trees settled its roots, growing slowly but truly as it ate the earth and drank the light.

“Peace.” 

A vine snake struck at a wiggling mouse.

“Violence.”

He kept his voice low and steady, “And between it all?”

“An energy. Flowing. Connecting.”

“Connecting to what?”

Her vision recentered itself. “Me.” 

Then reached out.

“You.”

Kylo’s eyes jolted open. “No, wait!”

_She looked around, unsure of where she was, as a small boy with dark hair, large ears, and small braid padded out of the darkness_

_“Hello,” she said, smiling and kneeling down. “What’s your name?”_

_The boy smiled back, then opened his mouth to answer._

_“Ben,” a maternal voice cooed softly, the image of the boy replaced with her melodious tone. “My beautiful, beautiful boy.”_

_A man laughed kindly. “Whoa, Ben! Easy!” A rough hand clapped him on the shoulder. “You’re getting pretty slick. Just don’t tell your mother I let you fly.”_

_A series of rumbles and growls that somehow meant his name accompanied a warm, furry embrace._

_“Ben, please don’t argue,” the same woman as before asked tiredly. “It’s best for everyone if you go.”_

_“Ben, focus!” A commanding voice told him, correcting his stance. “You cannot learn if you cannot be still.”_

_(He had to get her out.)_

_“Ben,” a slithering hiss entered his mind. “You could be so much more than they know…”_

_(Couldn’t let her see.)_

_“Ben! No!” Screamed a voice in rage and grief, fire collapsing around them, thickening her breath. Choking. Drowning._

“Rey!”

She gasped for air as the cold water from the nearby lake cascaded over her head, tossing her off the rock and onto the ground. Looking up, she met Kylo’s gaze with shuddering breaths, a thousand questions running through her mind as he emanated fury from his very being. He whirled around and started to go somewhere - _anywhere_ \- else, before his thin thread of control snapped.

“Ben, wait!”

He froze, then bit out through clenched teeth, _“Don’t._ That name, that boy, is dead. He died a long time ago.”

“Are you sure?” She called out after him, her voice somehow strong and shaking. “Because he felt alive to me.”

“You’re wrong,” he snarled, rejecting her pity, her pleading, her starscursed kindness, leaving all of it far, far behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to come yell at me on [my Tumblr](https://happilyeveraftereveryday.tumblr.com/) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/erulisse17)!


	7. The Threat

* * *

After furiously slashing through a series of trees to rid himself of lingering memories, Kylo marched back to their small wooden hut, still fuming.

“Ren?” Her voice was timid, cautious, as she shifted in the doorway.

He ignored it.

“I wanted to apologize. I didn’t mean… I didn’t know that’s what would…” He could see her fidgeting out of the corner of his eye. “Look, if you want to talk about it-”

“Why are you here?” He meant to sound angry, but it came out in weary exhaustion.

Rey paused, then carefully made her way inside, staring out of the small slatted window. “Something inside me has always been there,” she answered, almost confessing. “But now it's awake.” 

Swallowing, she glanced at the back of his head and whispered, “And I'm afraid. I don’t know what it is... or what to do with it.” 

He could already feel his anger fading at how lost she sounded. 

“I need help.”

As he silently cursed whatever weakness inside of him that couldn’t resist, he saw her start to turn away, shoulders slumped in defeat.

“Tomorrow.”

She twirled back around, eyes wide in hesitant hope.

“Dawn. Next lesson.”

A wide, beaming smile broke across her face, nearly blinding him as she nodded enthusiastically.

“And go find us some food. I’m starving.”

Rushing out to fulfill his request, he shoved the voice asking why he couldn’t say no to her as far down as he could.

…

Their next lesson was much more boring than its predecessor. He had her meditate and focus on breathing as he gently tested her mental defenses, part of him gaining a horrifying sympathy for Luke in trying to get multiple students to sit still at once.

Once both of their tempers were beginning to rise, he deemed them done for the day, and they returned to continue readying the villagers and the barricades for later that night. Once the trenches were dug, the traps were set, and the sun was down, they nodded to Ymera and Kiggo, who returned the gesture solemnly.

“When we come back, we’ll be coming in hot,” he told them, checking his saber and blaster were in easy reach as Rey settled her weapon in her belt and hefted her rough-hewn wooden staff.

“We’ll be ready,” Kiggo affirmed.

“We’ll take care of the bandits,” Ymera said, a fire in her eyes. “You take care of the walkers.”

As the last traces of light faded from view, he and Rey made their way along the forest path to the raider’s hideout. Stepping quietly, they snuck up behind the two lookouts, and at Kylo’s signal, grabbed them both at the same time.

Stashing the guards under some branches, they circled the rest of the group as the raiders laughed and drank by the fire, edging closer to the large shed in the center of camp. Once the building was between them and the bandits, Kylo sliced a hole into the back wall and they ducked inside, coming face to face with mounds of stolen prengalli and crates of weapons.

As they searched through the assorted blasters and rifles, Rey opened the next box and let out a quiet squeal of glee. “Found them!” She called, then tossed him a belt of charges.

“Explosives!” He hissed in rebuke. 

Rey shrugged. “You caught them, didn’t you?”

“That’s not the- Nevermind! Just hurry up!”

Turning the dials, Rey dropped a detonator into each crate as Kylo attached them to the walls and support beams for good measure. They both froze as footsteps approached, meeting each other’s gaze and readying themselves.

Two slightly inebriated raiders wobbled in, then stopped in puzzlement. Before they could reach for their blasters, Rey clocked one on the shoulder, breaking his collarbone with her wooden staff while Kylo snapped the other one’s neck. Alarmed grunts from outside alerted them to the next wave, and soon they were battling four more bandits. Kylo ignited his saber and slashed the two swarming him as Rey was thrown to the ground, kicking out her attacker’s knee before shooting the one above her.

As more raiders poured in, Rey heard the beeping pulses getting faster.

“Now!” She shouted, firing at the next group as she and Kylo rushed outside, hitting the dirt just in time to hear the shed explode behind them.

Glancing at each other, breathing heavily, Rey asked, “You think it worked?”

Metallic creaking suddenly sounded from the woods, and they both looked up to see matching pairs of red, mechanical eyes rise above the trees as the two AT-STs powered up.

“It worked,” Kylo answered tersely, before hauling himself and Rey to their feet. “Run!”

Racing through the forest, they barely outpaced the shots from the blaster cannons, scrambling around trees and over the fallen logs they had laid out in hopes of slowing the mechs down. Bursting out of the woods, they skidded behind the barricade to join the jittery villagers.

“Get ready!” Rey warned, and the villagers hefted their weapons as the low thuds and distant shouts grew closer.

“Hold!” Kylo called out as the branches swayed. “Steady!”

Twin lines of cannon fire darted out of the forest, upending one of the barricades and spraying sparks along the front line. With an echoing cry, the bandits broke out of the treeline, heading directly for the village.

Kylo waited until they reached the edge of the aqua-farms, then bellowed, “Fire!” 

The darkness lit up with red blaster fire as the villagers took aim at the advancing raiders, who stumbled back in surprise before pulling out their own weapons. He had no time to focus on them, however, as the first AT-ST snapped through the rope and came charging out into the clear. He took shots at the small windows that served as eyes, but nothing made it through.

All he could do was wait.

A loud screech and straining gyros told him that the second AT-ST had gotten fouled up in the ropes Rey had stretched across the trees, buying them a little time. The first walker grew closer, but then slowed and stopped too far away from the watery trap, turning on its searchlight and firing at the rough barricades, resulting in screams and smoke.

“Come on!” He muttered. “Take the bait, you hunk of junk.”

Mirka roared a challenge, then rushed out from behind his cover, sending a series of shots up at the walker’s face before diving into the water. Surfacing, the Artiodac brought up his borrowed rifle and hailed more fire at the red eyes.

With a mechanical hiss of rage, the AT-ST took two more steps, standing just at the edge of the pond as it fired into the water with its chin-mounted blaster cannons, causing Mirka to bellow in pain. Channeling his rage, Kylo reached out, clenched his fist, and attempted to drag the walker the last two feet into the murky trap.

The AT-ST slid forward a few inches, gears whirring in confusion as the driver inside hauled on the controls. Digging his feet into the dirt, Kylo tried to drown out the sounds around him, from the grunts of combat to the pings of blaster fire to Rey’s distant scream of fear-

His eyes flew open. Using his helmet’s nightvision to scan the area, Kylo muffled a curse as he zoomed in to see Rey, hanging from one of the stalled walker’s legs, her blaster aimed upwards as the AT-ST jerked sideways, snapping the ensnaring ropes one by one. Filled with an odd sense of terrified exasperation, Kylo watched in horror as the mech broke free, wrapping one of the ropes around its leg and trapping Rey as it shook her around like a rag doll.

“Rey!” He bellowed, yanking the closer walker into the pond without a second glance. He took off sprinting across the battleground, desperate to make it there in time.

Torben ( _ Torben _ , he growled silently, the name only adding rage to his fear), who had been firing up at the AT-ST as well, was calling her name and gesturing at her to jump when the walker’s right cheek slid open to emit its concussion grenade launcher. As small blue charges rained down, blinking ominously, Rey wrestled with the entangling cords and shrieked at Torben to get out of the way.

The boy ran out of range just in time, the impact of the explosions knocking him flat while Rey was sent flying across the battlefield, landing heavily in the dirt as Kylo raced to her side.

Scrabbling in the mud, Kylo barely remembered his visor could detect vital signs, and his hands hovered anxiously above her head and shoulders before it told him she was alive. 

“Rey.  _ Rey!” _ He shouted, his heart racing as he heard the low footfalls of the mech slowly growing closer. Her eyes finally fluttered open, allowing him to take his first real breath in what felt like eons. She shifted her head a little, then gave him a faint smile as her vision cleared.

Wincing, she brought up a shaking hand to point at the approaching walker.

“I fly, you shoot,” she coughed with a weak grin, and Kylo looked up to see a single explosive charge lodged in its whirring leg joint.

Nearly overwhelmed with relief and a deeper, warmer emotion he couldn’t name, Kylo reached out with the Force, spinning the dial on the charge with vicious intent, then turned his attention back to Rey as the AT-ST burst apart in a magnificent display of fireworks.

Scooping her gently into his arms, he barely registered the whimpers of the remaining raiders, or the cheers of the victorious villagers, only focused on the slow, clear beat of Rey’s heart.

…

The following celebration lasted for nearly a week, with a day set aside to mourn the mercifully few dead. Most of the inhabitants were wounded in some way or another, but Kylo knew they had gotten off lightly. At least, he would have if he wasn’t constantly guarding Rey, much to her annoyance and the Speakers’ amusement.

“Go join the party! Stop circling me like a hungry ripper-raptor!” She barked at him after the third day.

“So you can sneak away to do something even more idiotic? I don’t think so,” he retorted, sitting on a crate with a firm cross of his arms.

“I’ll make sure she stays put,” Ymera spoke from the doorway, her eyes dancing in silent laughter as she set down a tray. “I brought you some food.”

“Bless you,” Rey called out. “I’m starving!”

“When are you not starving?” Kylo pointed out grumpily.

“Kiggo is brewing some medicinal broth,” Ymera told him, biting back a smile. “Can you ask her if there’s some ready?”

Grumbling to himself, Kylo found Kiggo, doling out medicine in the main building, collected a bowl for Rey, then tried to return quickly, despite the swarms of people who kept tracking him down to thank him. Unused to these sorts of interactions, he just kept nodding and making neutral ‘hm’s as he scooted uneasily around them.

By the end, he was creeping along the back sides of buildings, only darting out when he believed it was safe from grateful passers-by. When he finally made it to his destination, he took a moment to catch his breath, relieved to be blissfully alone.

“How long have you been traveling together?” Ymera asked, and an irritable reply was on his lips before he realized the question on the other side of the wall wasn’t meant for him.

“Not long,” Rey answered amiably, then paused. “Although it feels as if it’s been…”

“A lifetime?” Ymera supplied with a laugh. “I understand. My life-mate and I were the same.”

He heard Rey choke on her drink. “Oh no, I didn’t- that’s not-” she sputtered, “We’re not-”

There was a beat, then she finished in a soft, almost regretful tone Kylo couldn’t decipher, “I haven’t even seen his face.”

“But you’ve seen his heart,” the Speaker told her in gentle understanding. “That’s much more telling.”

Realizing he was listening at doors like an errant child, Kylo coughed loudly and came around to the entrance, attempting to act casually. “I brought the broth,” he motioned to the bowl a little too forcefully, spilling some as Rey jumped up to hiss at him.

“Don’t drop it!” Shaking the drips off her hand, she looked up at him with a frown. “This is stone cold! Did you circle the planet first?”

Flushing furiously underneath his helmet, he growled, “I was waylaid.”

“By who?”

Ymera stepped in before he could snap out something uncomplimentary. “The community is very grateful,” she explained kindly to Rey, whose eyebrows furrowed before shooting up in sudden comprehension.

“Oh,” she murmured. “Thank you.”

Unsure how to respond to her gratitude, he shifted uncomfortably, then snarled, “Just… drink all of it! I don’t want my efforts to be for nothing,” before marching outside, too aware of Rey’s frown and Ymera’s thoughtful gaze.

…

As time passed, Rey recovered fully, the repairs were nearly complete, the grass had grown over the scorch marks, and it felt as if the battle had happened years ago instead of weeks. Kylo was leaning against the doorframe as Rey returned to the house, nodding and greeting the other inhabitants on her way with a wide smile. Setting the tray of food inside for him to eat later, she joined him out on the porch, gazing at the scene before them.

Kylo waited for a moment, his thoughts heavy on his mind. “You… you like it here, don’t you?”

Sighing as she sipped her tea, she asked, “Who wouldn’t? It’s more beautiful than anything I could have dreamed.”

Decidedly, despite the strange weight in his chest, he cleared his throat. “Good. You’re staying.”

Rey whipped around to stare at him. “You mean  _ we’re _ staying.”

He shook his head. “I can’t. I… I don’t belong here. But you do.”

“Not without you,” she insisted, her starscursed stubbornness lining every word, ignoring what he was trying to do.

“They won’t be safe with me here.”

“Have you forgotten the two walkers you helped destroy?”

He let out a long breath.  _ “You _ won’t be safe.”

That somehow made her practically vibrate with rage. “How dare-”

A strange sensation pressed against his mind, causing his skin to prickle as he got to his feet and scanned the area uneasily.

“I will have you know that I can take care of-”

He suddenly grabbed her and threw them both to the ground, a blaster shot echoing across the quiet village as surprised screams and a cry of pain followed.

“Ren!” Rey shrieked in fear, reaching for his wounded side.

Before she could touch him, Kylo rolled to his feet, eyes blazing as he stormed toward the forest. Another shot rang out, and he barely shifted out of its path in time, the pulse leaving a burnt line across the fabric on his shoulder. He managed to slow the third shot and duck under it before running full speed into the forest.

“Kuruk!” He roared, and a black-clad figure stalked silently into view; a long, customized two barrelled blaster rifle over his shoulder, his mask mirroring Kylo’s except for four long strips extending from his helmet, cutting off his peripheral vision while giving the viewer a sense long black fingers were reaching out just for them.

“The Fury himself,” his attacker mocked. “Never thought the Sniper could mark you, hm?”

“Leave. Now.”

The Sniper laughed. “How can I leave when I came especially to see you - The Fury, the  _ Master  _ of the Knights of Ren - abandoning the Shadow?”

Kylo ignited his saber, growling in rage. “I have not abandoned the Shadow.”

Kuruk pointed his rifle in challenge. “You have dishonored the Hand! You defile the Code, and for what? Nothing!” On his last word, he fired four blasts in quick succession, Kylo deflecting the first two while the rest slammed into his already injured side and arm.

Suppressing a howl of pain, Kylo slashed wildly with his lightsaber, catching the upper barrel of the Sniper’s rifle and shearing off one of his helmet’s blinders. Letting out a maniacal laugh, Kuruk pumped the action on the rifle and shot at Kylo again, forcing him to dodge the plasma bolt by scrambling backwards, another bolt hitting him in the forearm and sending his saber to the ground.

The Sniper moved in, pushing the tip of the blaster into the exposed wound as he pressed his gauntlet against Kylo’s throat.

“I’m going to kill you, Fury, and drag your body back with me. I cannot wait to see Snoke unmask you for the traitor you are,” his vocoder hissed in glee.

“Ren!”

They both turned to see Rey running their direction, carrying her wooden staff as she moved with fierce, fearful determination.

“Snoke will unmask you,” Kuruk gloated, “and then he will  _ unmake  _ her.”

“Ren!” She screamed again, growing far too close.

With rage pounding in his blood, blacking out his vision, Kylo called his saber to him and ignited it deep in the Sniper’s chest. 

“I will never let that happen,” he vowed, threat dripping from every word as the Knight slid to the ground, motionless.

Rey rushed up, breathless, just in time to wedge herself under his arm as his legs gave out. “It’s alright, it’s alright,” she soothed, the worry in her face belying her tone. “I’ve got you, it’s going to be fine.”

“I won’t let it happen,” he told her, his eyes starting to droop closed.

“Nothing’s going to happen, Ren.”

“I won’t,” he promised her, finally allowing himself to succumb to the darkness.

* * *

[Hi-res version here](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/465167792912596993/669971566850867219/Kuruk_Holonet_File.png)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to come yell at me on [my Tumblr](https://happilyeveraftereveryday.tumblr.com/) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/erulisse17)!


	8. Phantoms

* * *

  
  


When Kylo awoke, he felt like he’d been trampled by a herd of banthas. He let out a deep groan as he slowly tried to sit up, starting slightly when gentle hands gripped his arm.

“Easy, easy,” Rey told him with a smile. “You look like something the steelpeckers have been at.”

Wrinkling his nose under his mask at the image, he gingerly tested out his shoulder, realizing his surcoat and tunic were gone, and there was a rough bandage visible underneath the fabric of his shirt. “Did anyone-”

“Your helmet stayed on,” she reassured him. “So did most of… everything. I didn’t know if your code extended to clothes or not, but we needed to patch up your wounds before they got infected.”

He winced as he prodded the wound in his side. “I’d rather no one touched anything.”

“Well, they brought some broth for you to drink,” Rey resettled the bowl closer, then sat next to him on the bed, her proximity doing odd things to his lungs.

“Who was that?” She asked finally, staring at the floor.

“Kuruk,” he answered, rubbing the back of his neck. “A Knight of Ren, known as the Sniper.”

“Like you?” 

The soft question stopped him, and he turned to watch her hands clench and unclench nervously.

“Not like me,” he told her firmly, though he realized he wasn’t sure if it was the truth.

Silence passed a moment, until she reached into one of her belted pouches. “He had this on him.”

She handed him the pinging tracking fob, watching it with an unreadable expression. “It’s tracking me, isn’t it?”

The red light flashed at him, unfeeling in its constancy. “Yes.”

Rey swallowed. “It’s not safe here anymore.”

The heartbreak in her voice, and the fact she tried to hide it, sent a bolt of anger through his veins as he crushed the metal fob into tiny pieces. He let them fall to the ground, waiting until his voice was back under control.

“No.”

…

The orange and purple-striped Volpai who had refused to sell them parts glared, then tossed all four of her hands up in defeat when nearly the whole village came with Rey and Kylo to her shop.

“Fine! Take what you want.” She shouted, yielding to Kiggo and Ymera’s glares. “Within reason!”

Rey nearly whooped with joy as she dove behind the counter, piling Kylo’s arms high with parts for repairing the ship. Rolling his eyes, he handed them to villagers to place on the repulsorlift sled and collected some materials himself. Once they made it back to the _Whisper_ everyone helped unload their haul, adding numerous gifts of medicine and food as well. With final calls of farewells and safe travels, Rey waved good-bye to their escort while Kylo nodded solemnly.

To his growing aggravation, he noticed Torben break off from the rest of the group to speak to Rey quietly, holding both of her hands in his own in a way that was far too familiar for Kylo’s liking. Growling in the back of his throat, Kylo was seriously contemplating Force-shoving the boy into a thornbush when Torben pressed a small flower into her palm, covered it with her other hand, then rushed to catch up with his mother.

Marching noisily about his business as he deactivated the security protocols, Kylo still noticed that Torben kept turning around to look back at the _Whisper_ , and that Rey kept giving him a small, sad sort of smile multiple times before they drifted out of sight. When she continued to stare wistfully off into the horizon, Kylo finally rummaged through the pile of parts and shoved one her way.

“Here.”

Blinking, she turned to look at the five-foot long collection of interconnected pipes he was holding out to her.

“It’s about the same size as your other one,” he mumbled, then thrust it into her arms. As she examined the metal staff, a slow, beaming grin grew across her face. Hefting it a few times, she swung it through a series of strikes and blocks, ending a little flushed and out of breath, her smile somehow even brighter.

“Thank you,” she told him in a soft, touched voice.

Unable to classify the rising feeling in his chest, Kylo grabbed a pilex driver and gestured toward the ship. “Don’t just stand there! Are you going to fix it or not?”

Laughing a little, she followed him into the ship and dug into the fuel line, pausing every now and then to stroke her new staff with a pleased grin.

…

“Are you sure it’ll work?”

“Are you questioning my stellar abilities as a mechanic?”

“Yes.”

Rey sighed. “It’ll work.”

“And if it doesn’t?”

“You better fly fast then, _hm?”_

Shooting her a dark glare, Kylo sighed and began the start-up sequence, Rey complementing the process from the copilot’s chair with ease. He paused at the final switch, then flipped it, wincing as the engines sputtered to life.

Once they had settled into a steady hum, he ignored Rey’s triumphant smile and the superior tone of the ship’s computer alerting him to the drastically low fuel supply, and lifted them off the ground, desperately trying to get this whole day over with.

As they approached the Castle, Rey’s jaw dropped at the splendor of the stone edifice and the size of the lake, which she rapturously told him was more water she’d seen in one place in her entire life. Setting down in an open repair bay, Kylo growled a reminder as Rey was already halfway down the ramp.

“Hey! We’re going to repair, refuel, then-”

“Roast this rock, yeah yeah, you told me,” she told him, waving dismissively behind her as she skipped into the maintenance facility. Kylo paced uncomfortably in the ship while she chattered with the repair crew, wasting all kinds of time with idle chit-chat about the weather and how much she loved the planet and which panel they should start on first all while his strides grew longer and faster and angrier.

Unable to bear it anymore, he stalked down the ramp, about to bellow at the lot of them to hurry the kark up when a voice filled with terrifying authority and familiarity boomed across the shipyard.

**_“BEN SOLO!”_ **

Instinctively hunching his shoulders and wincing, he turned to see a tiny, wrinkled figure with large goggles marching into the repair bay, hands on hips as she glared at him.

_“We’re leaving!”_ He shouted, unsure who the statement was meant for.

“But the repairs aren’t-” one of the mechanics started timidly.

“I don’t care!”

Maz Kanata, pirate queen of Takodana Castle, advanced at surprising speed, considering how many centuries she had seen. “You really thought you could come to my home, land outside my window, and just leave?”

“Yes!”

Climbing on top of a nearby crate, she motioned him forward. “Come here, boy.”

“I’m not a boy,” he muttered petulantly, his feet still somehow moving forward.

She tugged on the edges of his cape until he bent down with a sigh, magnifying her goggles as she peered into his visor, no doubt fully aware of the dark scowl on his face. Her ancient eyes narrowed.

“Something has changed in you.”

Growling, he answered, “The only thing that changed is that I’ve become someone they never-”

“No,” Maz interrupted, tilting her head curiously. “This is new. Something… different.”

“Nothing is-”

“Ren?” Rey asked cautiously from the side, reaching for her new staff.

Maz whirled around toward the girl with a frightening intensity. “Ahhhhh. I see now.”

“There is nothing to see,” Kylo bit out as he tried to edge between them.

Pushing him aside with startling strength, Maz took Rey’s hands in her own, pulling on her a little until she knelt down.

“What’s going on?” Rey asked as the older alien adjusted her lenses and leaned forward.

“Nothing good,” Kylo muttered irritably.

“You live long enough,” Maz murmured as she studied Rey’s face, “you see the same eyes in different people.”

After a long moment, she grinned and squeezed the girl’s hands. “Yes. You will do _wonderfully_. Come!”

She started toward the castle, waving the both of them along.

Kylo crossed his arms. “We’re not going anywhere.”

Raising an eyebrow, Maz turned and asked, “Not even for free food and supplies?”

“Food?” Rey repeated, instantly alert.

Unable to ignore the eager hope in her voice, Kylo glanced at Rey before realizing what he was doing, then saw Maz practically beaming in satisfaction.

“There, can’t let the poor thing go hungry, can we? Let’s go.”

…

As Rey tucked into the seemingly endless buffet, Maz leaned back, indifferent to Kylo’s uneasy surveillance of the crowd within the castle.

“So. Who’s the girl?”

He shifted. “No one.”

“Ha! Don’t you try that on me, Solo. I’ve known you too long.”

“My _name_ is Kylo Ren,” he hissed. “And you don’t know a thing about me.”

“Hmmm.” She tapped a finger against her chin. “I know I've seen evil take many forms. The Sith. The Empire. Today, it is the First Order. Their shadow is spreading across the galaxy, and none serve the Hand of the Shadow more effectively than the feared Knights of Ren.”

Kylo flinched a little.

“But I also know that there was a dust-up on the Supremacy a few weeks ago. Rumor is, a Knight stole a high-value target from Snoke himself, shot up some stormtroopers, then went rogue. No one can understand how one of Snoke’s most loyal warriors could betray him like that, or why they’d want to.”

They both turned to watch Rey try and balance one more slice of scazz steak on top of her already towering pile of food, cheeks stuffed full.

He looked back to see Maz smiling in a way that deeply unsettled him. 

“My boy,” she laughed, “you are right in the mess.”

“I’m not in any mess,” he argued, although his words were hollow even to his own ears. “We’re going to refuel and get out of here, then find some quiet planet and lay low.”

“Ben,” her voice took on a sympathetic tone as she reached out to touch his arm. “Nyakee nago wadda. _Go home.”_

His throat felt oddly thick as he swallowed. He opened his mouth to growl something about her minding her own skugging business, but somehow a small, defeated whisper came out instead. 

“You know I can’t.”

Her gaze softened. “I know you cannot believe his lies.”

Shaking off her hand, he sat back, crossing his arms. “I didn’t need to believe anything. I saw enough with my own eyes.”

Maz let out a compassionate sigh. “Ben…”

_“No!” A desperate scream of a small girl echoed distantly in his memory._

He blinked, then searched through the castle’s clientele with increasing urgency. “Where’s Rey?”

Frowning, Maz closed her eyes. “Well, well, well,” she murmured after a long moment. “Isn’t that interesting.”

As she started toward some back stairs, Kylo raced ahead, responding to the sudden burst of adrenaline and fright he could feel from Rey, disjointed bits of images and sounds clouding his mind.

Halfway down the stairs, he stumbled, clutching his head as an overwhelming wave of vicarious despair drowned his senses, the darkness of the hall giving way to a night of pouring rain, lit with burning flames as a metal hand reached for a blue and white droid. His own fear began to amplify Rey’s as he realized what he was seeing. He tried to run, but gravity shifted, tossing him to the ground as he looked up and saw a warrior scream, pierced by a red lightsaber.

His lightsaber.

Her fright turned to horror as she saw six black figures standing vigil over a field littered with a hundred unmoving bodies, Kuruk’s recognizable among them, and a tall, dark cloaked form facing away from her. The creature turned to reveal his own silver-plated helmet, stalking forward at a hunter’s pace.

As the specter of himself strode towards her, rain hissing along the crackling red saber, Kylo’s heart constricted at the pure terror radiating from Rey as she stared at his familiar mask, as he saw what he must look like to her. To everyone.

_“No!”_ They were in a desert, the bright sun blinding him as the familiar sobbing child stared at the sky, held captive by a meaty arm. _“Come back!”_

_“Quiet, girl!”_

A ship, flying away. Abandoning her.

Darkness came, then gave way to snowfall, a cold wind rustling through the forest. 

She walked forward, skidding to a halt as a malevolent light he knew so well cut her off, sparks spitting off the duplicate blade as the phantom of himself returned to haunt her, drawing closer in dogged pursuit as she backed away in abject horror.

Rey staggered back, landing on the floor, _hard_ , breaking them both free of her vision.

As he tried to quiet the pounding of his heart and the anguish of his mind, Kylo could hear Maz coming softly down the stairs, padding past him and down the hall to where Rey was still shaking.

“What was that?” Rey demanded, tears in her eyes.

“That lightsaber was Luke’s.”

Kylo whipped his head around to stare at Maz in shock and growing, desperate necessity.

“And his father's before him, and now, it calls to you!” 

“No. I…” She shook her head, as if searching for a reason to refuse. “I have to get back to Jakku.” 

Taking Rey’s clammy hand, Maz raised up her goggles and gave a sad smile. “Dear child. I see your eyes. You already know the truth. Whomever you're waiting for on Jakku, they're never coming back. But... there's someone who still could.” 

Rey stopped breathing for a moment, and Kylo could have sworn her eyes darted toward him before pulling back to Maz.

“The belonging you seek is not behind you. It is ahead. I am no Jedi, but I know the Force. It moves through and surrounds every living thing. Close your eyes.” 

The girl did as asked, her frightened breaths slowing to a normal pace.

“Feel it. The light. It's always been there. It will guide you.” 

Just when it seemed to Kylo that everything had calmed down, Maz opened her eyes and nodded firmly. “The saber. Take it.”

The fading fear suddenly returned with interest as Rey got to her feet. “I'm never touching that again. I don't want any part of this.”

As Maz stammered, Rey pushed past her, fleeing up the stairs, flinching as Kylo reached out for her. 

Stung, worried, about to follow her, he paused, staring at the room she had skidded away from, the pull of the possibility, of his destiny, of his _birthright_ , beckoning to him in a siren song.

Maz suddenly appeared before him, Luke’s lightsaber in her hands and dark foreboding in her eyes.

“You believe this belongs to you,” she told him, as if he could be wrong, as if it could be any other way. “But it calls to _her.”_

He bared his teeth, ready to challenge her with words and blade when she pressed the silver hilt into his hand.

“Give it to her when the moment is right,” she instructed with an authority lent her by centuries of wisdom. “You will know. Now go!”

Growling at the old alien, he stood up and followed Rey’s path, his mind whirling as he gripped the weapon of legends, breaking into a run when he saw she wasn’t in the castle. To his relief, he glimpsed her outside the _Whisper_ , bent over for breath and swiping at her eyes.

“Rey?” He ventured in concern as he stepped forward.

He blinked as she recoiled in fear, reaching instinctively for her blaster.

“What’s wrong-”

“Was that you?” She forced out, her jaw clenched. “What I saw in that... Did you kill all of those-”

She swallowed, unable to finish, her fists shaking at her side.

He stopped, considering all of the answers he could give her, all the explanations he could find, the excuses he could make.

“Yes.”

A variety of emotions flickered across her face; surprise, confusion, disbelief, before finally landing on betrayed grief.

“I thought you were different.”

“Rey.”

“But you’re just like them,” she spat out as tears tracked down her cheeks. “You’re-”

Her lips pressed together tightly, as if holding back the truth.

But he had seen the truth - had felt her terror through her vision. He was a fool to think she saw anything else when she looked at him.

“Say it,” he demanded masochistically, needing to hear it in her voice, to feel the sting in his soul. “You had the same look in the desert, when I first found you. When you called me a monster.”

“You _are_ a monster!” She shouted, crying in earnest now.

“Yes. I am.” He answered, savoring the pain as her lips trembled, her eyes watered, as she let out a pained gasp and fled from view.

Committing himself to the darkness, he reminded himself that was all he would ever be.

_A monster._

…

She ran.

Trying to leave all of it - the vision, that saber, his honesty, his sufferance, _him_ \- as far behind as she could, she flew through the forest, tears streaking her face, heart sick in her chest, until her lungs burned, until her legs could go no further.

Collapsing on the ground, she wept and gasped for air, resting her forehead against the ground, attempting to draw some sort of solace, some kind of peace.

He _was_ a monster. He killed all of those people.

(He wasn’t. He saved her life.)

He was a Knight of Ren, a terror throughout the galaxy.

(He was her friend, her protector.)

He was the Fury.

(He was so alone. So lost.)

She needed to leave.

(She wanted to stay.)

“Help me,” she whispered to the wet soil, to the galaxy, to the Force. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know who he is.”

Closing her eyes, she waited for an answer, for some kind of sign.

A twig snapped in the silence.

Ears perking up, she turned from side to side, hope rising in her chest when she saw a familiar black cloak emerge from behind a moss-covered boulder.

Two black cloaks.

Dread seized her soul as one of the Knights of Ren tilted his head at her, a wicked-looking scythe balanced on his shoulder. “Hello, little bird,” he cooed. “Are you lost?”

She waited only a second before turning on her heel and darting for the trees when a barrier of smoke suddenly filled her eyes and lungs.

“Now, now,” cautioned the other Knight, both hands planted firmly on his executioner’s axe as he stepped through the smog. “None of that.”

Rough hands grabbed her arms, and just before a painful blow struck the back of her head, she screamed in her mind with her last conscious thought.

_BEN!_

  
  


* * *

  
  


Author’s note: Translated (very) roughly from a Huttese dialect, Maz’s advice to Ben consists of the words for ‘joke’, ‘want’, and ‘wish’, or in Basic: “The Universe laughs when you say what you wish”


	9. The Prisoner

* * *

Kylo was in the midst of debating whether to march outside and start razing the forest, or if he could simply ignite his saber there in the hull of his ship, repair costs be damned, when a scream with the power of a thousand winds slammed into his mind, flooding it with sheer, unadulterated terror.

_BEN!_

The force of the cry sent him to his knees, and before he could pour air into his starved lungs, the voice abruptly cut off.

Scrambling to his feet, he reached back through the connection.

_Rey? Rey!_

Nothing.

Panic rising in his throat, he raced outside, following her footprints deep into the forest, cursing himself in every language he knew for ever letting her out of his sight. Her tracks finally stopped in a small clearing, the smudges on the ground indicating that she knelt there for a moment.

He searched the area and froze as he found a pair of booted tracks marking the moss on the ground. Adjusting his scanner, he zoomed in on the footprints, then glanced up at the shoulder-height, serrated scratches cut into the nearby bark, a bitter echo of fear lingering in the brightly lit glade.

“Vicrul,” he snarled, then sniffed the air. Following Rey’s frightened steps, he clenched his fist at the empty smoke grenade next to an indent in the dirt, left by a crumpled form.

“Ap’lek.”

A loud screech drew his gaze upward, where a familiar _Oubliette-class_ transport left a trail of noxious gas in the sky as it disappeared into the unknown.

With Rey.

…

_The sun burns her eyes as the ship disappears into its glare._

_“Come back!”_

_“Quiet, girl. I paid good credits for you. You’re not going anywhere.”_

(Rey.)

_Scrappers block her path, laughing as they shove her to the ground, steal her things._

_“Please! I just want to go home!”_

_“What home? You don’t belong anywhere! You’re nobody with nothing!”_

(Rey!)

_She covers the first wall in scratches, starts on the next one._

_“They’ll be back,” she tells her doll. “Someday.”_

_The constant lurking fear in the back of her mind sneers cruelly, “No they won’t. They don’t want you.”_

(Kriff it, Rey, answer me!)

_“No one does.”_

(REY!)

...

She awoke with a gasp, then put her hands up to her throbbing head with an agonized groan.

_Rey!_

She froze, then looked around the small, dimly lit cell. 

“Ben?” She whispered fearfully, unsure if this was a trick of her mind.

_Rey!_ She was flooded with a palpable relief from his voice. _You’re alive. Where are you?_

About to answer, she suddenly realized she had no idea.

“I…” Her breath started coming faster. “I don’t…” Swallowing, she started feeling the walls, searching for any kind of weakness or cracks. “I can’t… I don’t know where I am. There’s no way to escape, I don’t-”

_Rey,_ he interrupted her burgeoning panic firmly. _Breathe._

Trying to slow her pounding heart, Rey took loud, gasping breaths, none of which helped in the slightest. “Ben, I can’t… There’s no way out-”

_Don’t look._ Without the sizzle of the vocoder, the deep rumble of his voice sounded oddly… intimate. _Feel._

The image of her boulder from outside the village entered her mind, along with the memory of his gloved hand placing hers on the warm rock.

_Just breathe._

Crossing her legs and closing her eyes, Rey forced herself to inhale slowly, to listen beyond the thudding of her heart.

_What do you hear?_

Her breaths quieting, she focused on the deep rumble underneath the ship.

“Engines,” she murmured. “Modified. Possibly 210 ion engines, but could be 204s.”

_Good. What else?_

Stretching her senses, she frowned in thought. “Nothing.”

_Try and-_

“No, I mean… nothing. There’s walls and walls around me, but no people. It’s like-” Her eyes snapped open. “A prison ship. It’s a prison transport.”

A growl of angry confirmation rang out in her mind. 

“You already knew,” she said, not quite an accusation.

_I suspected. You’re on the_ Night Buzzard _, the Knights’ personal ship. What I don’t know is where they’re taking you._

A cold chill of fear ran down her spine. “To Snoke?”

_Maybe. But there’s still too many places that could be._

He must have sensed the pit forming in her stomach, because his voice shifted into a tone that was somehow both soothing and resolute. _We’ll know soon. And then, I’m coming to get you._

Swallowing, Rey hugged her torso and tried not to sound like a lost child. “Promise?”

_I promi-_

“Who are you talking to, little bird?”

She jumped about a foot in the air and scrambled upright as she looked up to see a black helmet pressing itself between the bars of her door.

“Getting lonely are we, pet?” He purred, tilting the silver-gridded mask to the side. “The Reaper can keep you company.”

Rey jerked her chin up. “You don’t scare me.”

“Yes I do,” he murmured softly, tracing a gloved finger along the semi-circular gaps. “It’s my gift, given to me by the Shadow. I can taste the nectar of your fear from here.”

Resisting the urge to plaster herself against the wall, Rey clenched her trembling fist and tried to stuff her terror in a far corner of her mind.

“Speaking of gifts, what did you do to our Master?”

Rey stared in confusion. “What?”

“To make him betray everything.” The Reaper’s voice held no anger, only curiosity. “The Fury was the most zealous of us all, but he’s sent after you, and then…”

Frowning, her tone took on a defensive edge. “I didn’t do anything to him. He made his own choice.”

A guttural laugh issued forth from the helmet. “Do you know the other title he earned? Besides the Fury?” Leaning forward eagerly, he whispered, “Jedi-Killer.”

Rey took an instinctive step back, a futile attempt to escape his next words.

“For murdering Luke Skywalker.”

Her heart stopped.

“Luke Skywalker is a myth,” she mumbled in shock, the first thing her brain seized on.

“Oh no, he’s real.” The Reaper told her, and she could nearly hear his wide grin. “Or was, anyway. His own uncle. The Fury killed him and burned down the whole Jedi temple.”

Shaking her head, she tried to back away. “No.”

“How do you think he became a Knight? Became our Master?”

The wall against her back blocked her escape. “You’re lying.”

His head tipping from side to side like a rock viper, the Reaper radiated glee. “You don’t know him at all, do you?”

_“Enough.”_

She nearly leapt out of her skin at the silent appearance of the other Knight, his skull-like helmet pitted and scarred as lidless, metal eyes stared through her.

“We’re approaching Starkiller,” his hushed tone brought to mind eerie creaks in the night. “You’ll get your answers soon enough.”

Even though she was transfixed by his gaze, he somehow still managed to melt into the ship’s shadows, completely vanishing from her sight.

“Coming, Monk.” The Reaper trailed a finger along the edge of the bars as he reluctantly pulled himself away. “Soon enough, pet,” he called in farewell, leaving Rey to slide down to the floor, hugging her legs to her chest as her body shook.

Her head buried between her knees, unsure of how much time had passed, Rey suddenly felt a strange shift in the room, an odd tugging through the Force.

Glancing up, she saw a dark figure, clothed in black and standing in her cell.

A jolt of fear spiked through her as she scrabbled backwards.

“Rey?”

“Stay away from me!” She demanded, a second before she realized the battle helm didn’t belong to either of the Knights who had taken her.

Ren’s shoulder jerked back, as if her words were a physical blow. “Did they hurt you?” He asked, his metallic voice carefully controlled.

When she didn’t answer, he turned his head and asked, “How are you doing this?”

“I’m not doing anything,” she managed to get out.

“No, the effort would kill you. Can you see my surroundings? I can’t see yours. Just you.”

“Did you kill him?” The question burst forth, flung out of her mouth by the whirlwind of emotions. “Did you kill Luke Skywalker?”

He froze in place, but Rey thought she saw his mask twitch to the side, and after so much time with him, she could almost sense the black look he was sending over her shoulder to the _Night Buzzard’s_ cockpit.

“Yes.”

Covering her face with her hands, Rey nearly wept with anger and grief. “How- how could you?”

He took a large, furious step towards her. “Because he tried to kill me first! Because he sensed my power and he feared it. So he raised his saber to me - his own apprentice, his own _blood_ \- about to strike me down as I slept.”

“All my life, all I’ve ever wanted was a family - and you’ve murdered your own! I don’t understand!”

“No? Your family threw you away like garbage!”

She scrambled to her feet to growl, “They didn’t!”

“They did. But you’re still looking everywhere for them, even though-”

“Stop it!”

“They’re never coming back.” His next step was smaller, but still brought him too close. “Let the past die. Kill it if you have to.”

“I won’t need to,” she sneered, swiping at her wet cheeks. “They’re taking me to some place called Starkiller, where they’ll probably murder me too.” Terror, exhaustion, and anguish swirled together to make her next words cruel. “Kill _that_ part of your past.”

Rey hated how familiar she was with the slight movement of his covered neck that meant he was clenching his jaw and tilting his head to try and regain control. 

“Rey…” he spoke finally, at once too much and not enough.

“Just-” She slumped to the ground, too drained to fight anymore. “Just go.”

Waiting for him to protest, to argue, to say something, she was unprepared to look up and find him gone. Unbidden, tears cascaded down her face as she realized she was truly alone.

  
  


…

They landed in the huge hanger, hauling her out past officers and stormtroopers, every dragged step reminding her of a few weeks (and a lifetime) ago, when Ren had taken her to Snoke - when he had rescued her.

There was no conflict in either of the Knights escorting her to a different cell, only skin-crawling anticipation from the Reaper and even more terrifying blankness from his companion. After they reached the confined area, the Reaper pushed her in, then lingered in the doorway, basking in her glare.

“Anything we can do for you before we go, little bird?” He asked in a mockery of kindness.

Taking a deep breath to calm herself, she reached into the Force and tried to speak firmly. “I want you to leave this cell open and let me go.”

Both Knights halted in their tracks, then turned toward her in alarming intensity.

_“Oh,”_ the Reaper drawled in glowing delight. “Are we playing games, pet?”

“Leader Snoke wants her intact,” the Monk reminded him in a bored tone.

“She will be. Mostly.” Moving in, he asked again, “What do you want, little bird?”

Swallowing, she repeated, “I want you to let me-”

“No, no. What do you _want?_ More than anything? More than life itself?” 

The stench of fear grew thicker as he drew closer, and Rey could feel her hands trembling as a dark presence swarmed into her mind.

It was nothing like she’d ever felt before. When Ren had pushed past her defenses, he was precise, skilled, certain. This was an overwhelming cloud of pure terror, settling and suffocating every thought.

“Ah,” he canted his head in gleeful pity. “You want to know who you are. What you are. Want me to tell you?”

She couldn’t help jerking her gaze up to that unmoving mask, the desperate glimmer of hope still too strong.

He leaned in, allowing her a detailed view of the lines scoring the grid across his faceplate carrying up into his helmet, and whispered, _“Nothing.”_

Her heart clenched, crumbled.

“For now. But once Snoke trains you, breaks you, _then_ , you will be something of worth. Unless you shatter.” Raising a languid hand to her face, Rey couldn’t stop the panicked, rushing terror coursing through her veins as his gloved fingers caressed her chin. She managed to yank out of his grasp, her mouth too dry to spit at him, but she made the attempt anyways.

Sighing with longing, he grudgingly stepped away. “Either way, it’ll be fun to have someone new to play with.”

The Monk regarded her with his patchwork death mask before warning her in a rustling, hushed tone, “Don’t think your tricks will help you escape. Only droids guard this floor. Wait here until we come back.”

As the door slid closed behind them, whatever grip was on her lungs suddenly gave way, and she collapsed to the floor, gasping for air in a mixture of fear and rage.

She would not shatter. She would not break. If they thought she would, they were wrong.

When she looked up again, Ren was sitting silently across from her, his hands gripping his knees as if to stay their movement.

Averting her gaze, she could almost feel the hurt anger radiating from behind his mask.

“He’s right,” she said to herself. “I don’t know you at all.”

His mask tipped up a bit, then glanced to the side, but whether in frustration or thought, she couldn’t tell.

“I’ve never seen your face, or any part of you.” Hating how thick her throat felt, Rey swallowed and added, “But more than anything else, I have no idea who you are.”

The gnawing emptiness she had fought her whole life rose in her chest, threatened to consume her.

“I really am alone.”

Silence stretched between them, but instead of being broken by an irate argument or stung growl, memories began to drift into her mind.

_“Why did they leave me?” A boy whispers in the dark, afraid of his own thoughts being overheard. “Why didn’t they want me?”_

_Bright daylight, other forms in tan robes stop, laugh at him as he marches away._

_“No control, Master says.”_

_“If he’s so special, why can’t he balance a simple rock?”_

_Whirling around, covering his doubts with anger and pride, he shouts, “I’m better than all of you! Master chose me for my talent and my_ blood!” 

_Green light wavers above his bed, a bearded man wielding it, face twisted by hate. Confusion, betrayal, rage, and fear fill his mind as he calls his saber to answer it._

_“No!”_

_Rain, cascading down, drowning him as everything he knew burns._

_“I never meant… I didn’t want this! Any of this!” He pleads, begs, screams at the sky._

_A hissing voice crawls into his mind. “_ This _is all there ever was. All you could hope for. All you ever could be.”_

Tears coursing down her cheek at his grief, his loss, his loneliness, she looked up to take in the subtle hints to his stance, the hunched shoulders, his hanging head, every line of his body awaiting rejection.

“You’re not alone,” he murmured, still staring at the floor.

Realizing what he had shown her, what he was trying to convey, she considered his slumped posture, then raised her arm, uncurling her fingers in a gesture of invitation.

“Neither are you,” she responded, his pain singing in harmony with her own.

Raising his head to meet her eyes, they sat for an eternal moment, his helmet shifting imperceptibly down, then back up at her. Slowly, so slowly, Ren folded his arms together, then pulled at the fingers of his right glove.

Almost before Rey had time to comprehend it, the dark leather gave way to reveal his hand - his _real_ hand. Eyes widening, she glanced at his dark visor in disbelief before returning her gaze back to his wrist.

His outstretched fingers trembled a little, flinching slightly as she reached for him. She couldn’t stop studying everything about him - the pale skin marked with scars, the length of his palm that matched her entire forearm, the whorls etched across his fingertips.

Mesmerized, she drew closer, until their fingers were a whisper away. Fully expecting her hand to pass through him, as it would a mirage or a dream, she was not prepared when her skin brushed reverently against his, sending a blaze of heat and lightning that burned up her arm and into her chest.

Sharp intakes of breath echoed from both of them, and she could feel his muscles tense in equal shock, his body stiff as his helm tilted toward her in stunned fascination.

“Ben,” she breathed, her thoughts both too many and too few as she leaned forward to envelop her hand in his own.

A metallic scream shook the walls of her cell, red lights flashing as the planet shuddered beneath her, tipping her onto the ground. When she finally opened her eyes and turned around, she was alone.

“Ben? Ben!”

As only the keening overhead siren answered her, she straightened her shoulders in resolve and got to her feet.

He was right. She wasn’t alone. 

Not anymore.

* * *

[Hi-res version here](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/465167792912596993/673389889135575100/Vicrul_Holonet_File_Edit.png)


	10. The Escape

* * *

“Help! I need help, please!”

The security droids continued to march past, unheeding.

Waiting until there was just one last droid within hearing distance, Rey called again, “It’s a life-threatening medical emergency for a Do-Not-Harm First Order prisoner!”

The rear guard paused, then swiveled its head around to look at her before stomping over.

Raising an arm, the droid’s scanner shone a red light on her face before beeping in a negative tone. “You are not classified as Do-Not-Harm,” it informed her.

"You sure about that?" She asked, bracing her foot against the metal of the cell door and pulling the thin fabric of her armwraps pooled on the floor, threading it swiftly through the bars set into the small windows at the top. The loop of fabric caught the droid's neck and Rey yanked hard, slamming its head into the door. 

Moving quickly, she transferred the fabric noose into one hand, holding tight as the droid scrabbled for escape, and snaked her other arm through one of the gaps in the window. Grabbing at the exposed cables at its neck, she hooked her fingers around the circuitry-cooling cable and disconnected it, the droid suddenly freezing in place. 

Stretching her arm through the window slot as far as it would go, Rey fumbled for the droid's arm, finally latching onto it and weaving it back through the window. With a mighty heave at the joint, a shower of fizzing sparks erupted from the arm as it snapped and fell into her cell. A loud metallic thunk sounded outside as the rest of the droid hit the floor. 

With a cry of victory, she fiddled with the disconnected arm's internal gears until the scomp link popped out, and wasting no time, she plugged it into the locking mechanism. At first nothing happened, sending a spike of anxiety through her veins, but then the port began to turn, and the prison door slid open as she gave a loud sigh of relief.

Creeping out, she peered down the hallway and grinned when she spotted an information terminal. Stooping to grab her armwraps, she stuffed them into her belt as she brought the scomp link over to the panel of screens, calling up the base’s schematics and trying to find the quickest way out.

An odd tug in the Force distracted her, the hum of the console in front of her giving way to the echoing sound of her hammering pulse... No. Not an echo. Another heartbeat. Looking up, she saw Ren appearing behind her, getting to his feet from a seated position, hurriedly punching what must be a set of invisible switches and controls around him before he suddenly halted and turned toward her, his helmeted gaze somehow hesitantly eager.

“Ben?”

“Rey, I’m here,” he told her, and she blinked at him.

“Here? As in-” She gestured vaguely as he nodded.

“Starkiller. I’m on the planet, near the base. Just tell me where they’re holding you and-”

“I escaped.”

His mask drew back a bit, and there was almost a laugh underneath his next sentence. “Of course you did.”

Before she decided whether she should be offended or pleased by his amusement, he beckoned her forward. 

“We don’t have long before they fire it again. Make your way to the east exit and I’ll-”

Tilting her head in confusion, she asked, “Fire what again?”

He stopped, head twitching to the side in regret. “Nothing. But we need to move quickly, before they realize you’re gone.”

Recognizing avoidance when she heard it, Rey stepped forward. “Fire _what_ again?”

She watched the dark fabric around his throat shift as he swallowed.

“Earlier,” she realized aloud. “When the whole planet shook. That was a _weapon?_ What did it fire at?”

He hesitated, then muttered, “A system.”

Rey’s eyes widened. “Of planets? An entire…” A pit formed in her stomach. “Where? Which ones?”

“The Republic Capital system.”

“Stars,” she breathed, her mind barely able to comprehend that scale of destruction, of violence, of malice. Looking up with sudden resolve, she set her jaw, eyes blazing. “We have to stop it.”

_“What?”_ Ren, taken aback, shook his head emphatically. “No. They’ll be hunting you down any second. We need to get out of here.”

“They’re going to fire that thing again.” She told him, voice wavering. “And again, and again, until there’s no life or hope left in the galaxy. We can’t let them do that.”

“No. We get offworld, we figure out a plan once we’re-”

“And how many billions die first?” She argued. “I’m already here. I have a chance.”

“Every minute you stay gives them more time to catch you and kill you,” he bit out.

Rey took a deep breath. “I know. But I have to try.” Glancing up at him, a hint of pleading crept into her tone. _“We_ have to try.” 

At that, she heard a low, frustrated growl building beneath his mask as he looked upwards, as if in prayer to the stars for patience. Holding up his finger, he paused, then asked, _“If_ we do this, how could we stop it?”

An idea blossomed in her mind, and she turned back to the terminal, diving into the weapon schematics. “Here. The thermal oscillator in Precinct 47. If we can somehow disrupt the containment field, all that dark energy could destabilize the weapon.”

“And the entire planet,” he grumbled, rubbing the front of his mask.

“You come in from the east and set the grenades we still have from the village. I’ll meet you there and dig into the circuitry, disable the emergency shut off protocols.”

Letting out an irritated huff, he canted his head at her. “Then we leave?”

Rey nodded, a smile growing on her face. “We set the charges, turn off the safety, then we leave.” She met his gaze, then added softly, “Together.”

He stilled, then swallowed, giving her a stiff nod before whirling around and marching away as their connection faded.

Hope rising in her chest, Rey checked the schematics one last time, then made her way down the brightly lit hallways. “Together,” she promised herself.

…

Just as she was nearly to the oscillator, the loud cadence of feet echoed down the corridor behind her. Glancing to her right, a dead end, and to her left, a long, bottomless drop-off, Rey tried to evaluate her options with a sense of increasing urgency. 

After a momentary panic, she noticed that the drop-off was actually made up of rows and rows of service hatches. Relief flooding through her, she clambered down just in time, her fingers still barely visible as the squad of stormtroopers turned out onto the pathway. Tugging on the access panel, the hatch gave way with a pneumatic hiss, and Rey crawled inside with a pleased grin, that much closer to her goal.

She shimmied carefully through the entire breadth of the service line, flashing back to the many days she had spent trawling fallen starships for valuable scrap. She resisted the instinct to snag part of the quadanium latticing she passed - a haul that would have bought her fifty portions back on Jakku. Once she reached the exit hatch and popped it open, she waited for passing footsteps to fade, then scrambled out onto the wall and slowly made her way up.

As she tried to picture the map of the base in her mind, she rounded a corner and nearly ran into three figures coming down the corridor. Reaching for a blaster she didn’t have, she then held up her hands and hissed “Don’t shoot!” at the same time the dark-skinned young man did the same.

They both blinked at each other before the man asked, “Who are you?”

Rey crossed her arms defensively. “Who are _you?”_

“My name’s Finn. We’re with the Resistance.”

Her eyes widened as she grinned with sudden elation. “You’re with the Resistance?”

He looked stunned for a moment before swallowing and nodding emphatically. “Yes. Yes I am. I'm with the Resistance. I am _with_ the Resistance.”

A grizzled man with lighter skin and a tired scowl tapped his shoulder. “Hey, Big Deal. You actually are, now.”

“No, I know I am. Because, obviously, I am. But I just-”

“What’re you doing here, kid?” The man inquired, ignoring his companion’s rambling as the Wookiee behind him tilted its head.

“Me?”

“Yeah, you. We saw you climbing through the service hatch, and unless you’re some new kind of stormtrooper, you don’t belong here any more than we do.”

“I was a prisoner here. I escaped.”

Finn’s mouth dropped open. “No one escapes the First Order.”

The other man frowned at him. “Didn’t you and that idiot hotshot who stole my ship escape?”

“He only got out because I helped him. No one escapes on their own.”

The older man gave her an assessing glance, then shrugged. “Guess she’s the first, then. C’mon. Less talking, more walking.”

“I’m Rey, by the way,” she offered as she fell in step with the unlikely trio.

The large creature introduced himself as Chewbacca, copilot and caretaker of Han Solo.

“You are _not_ my nanny!” The man barked as Chewbacca gave him a few growled chuckles.

Rey stopped in her tracks. “You’re Han Solo?”

“I used to be!” He called out over his shoulder.

Finn waited for her, then added, “Yeah, the Rebellion general.”

“What? No, the smuggler! He made the Kessel Run in fourteen parsecs!” She told him, now realizing why the name sounded familiar.

“Twelve! Any moof-milker could-” Han stopped and motioned them to press against the wall as a group of stormtroopers marched through.

“What are you doing here?” Rey whispered to Finn after the last trooper passed and they ducked into the elevator, Chewbacca handing Han his coat with a chiding grumble.

“We’ve deactivated the shields, and now we’re blowing up the thermal oscillator,” he murmured back.

Rey grinned. “Me too!”

All three males halted, then turned to her with incredulous stares.

After a self-conscious moment, Rey glanced between them and demanded, “What?”

“By yourself?” Finn asked while Han furrowed his brows thoughtfully.

“How?”

“Disable emergency safety protocols from the upper level, disrupt the containment field by interrupting the dual-phase-lagging heat conductors, and the dark energy destabilizes the superweapon,” she explained matter-of-factly. “Done.”

Chewbacca nodded his head, Finn gaped, and Han’s frown grew deeper as he simply muttered, “Huh.” 

With a tinge of something like respect, he reached into his belt and handed her a blaster.

Oddly flattered, the lift pinged before she could respond, and the door opened to reveal a pair of stormtroopers, which Han took care of with successive blaster shots. “You two head up to disable the circuitry, we’ll plant the charges. Meet at the exit in ten minutes. As long as the sun is out, we still have a chance. Now go!”

…

“I used to dream of being on a Resistance mission when I was little,” she confided in Finn as she dug through the complex wiring.

He gave her a soft smile, one without the guile or rancor that she was far more accustomed to on Jakku. “Really?”

She hummed as she fiddled with the circuits. “I found a Rebellion pilot helmet years ago, and I used to put it on and stare at the sky and just wish…”

“To be anywhere else?”

Turning to meet his eyes, she nodded. “Exactly.”

His gaze grew distant. “Yeah. Me too.”

“What did you do before you were a Resistance fighter?”

Finn peeked at her, then turned away. “Nothing,” he mumbled, but hazy sounds and images began to trickle into her mind. Faint echoes of blaster fire rang in her ears, and rows upon rows of white, menacing masks flickered in the dark, a friend’s hand trailing red across a helmet not her own.

“You were a stormtrooper,” she whispered, and he whipped his head around to stare at her in shock.

“How did you-”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-” She stammered. “I can’t explain it, I just...”

He swallowed, then shook his head. “It’s… yeah. I was a stormtrooper. Like all of them, I was taken from a family I'll never know and raised to do one thing. But my first battle, I made a choice. I wasn't going to kill for them. So I ran. And I never looked back.”

As Finn fell silent, Rey could feel his fear, his doubt, his uncertainty roiling within him. Ducking her head down until she could meet his eyes, she told him, “I think that was incredibly brave, what you did.”

Looking up just the tiniest bit, he searched her face. “You do?”

“To leave everything you know, your entire life behind, to do what’s right? That’s one of the bravest things anyone can do.”

His mouth twitched up a little, and he laid his hand on hers. “Thanks. And if it helps, I think you’re one of the bravest people I’ve ever met too.”

Unused to compliments - or any sincere affection - a blush made its way to Rey’s cheeks. “Really?”

“Definitely! You escaped a First Order prison _by yourself!_ That’s incredible,” he gushed.

She was about to reply when she suddenly sensed Ren’s presence. “He’s here!” She smiled, then rushed over to the railings to look down as Finn frowned in confusion.

“Who?”

At last, she spotted that familiar black form at the edge of the oscillator, kneeling as he set charges at the base. Nearly overwhelmed with joy to see him in person, Rey took a breath to call out to him when a forceful voice rang out across the circular abyss.

_“Ben!”_

Ren froze, then turned to look for the source of the shout. Footsteps echoed as Han slowly walked out onto the thin bridge bisecting the chamber. Rey’s confusion quickly gave way to realization as she finally realized why Han’s voice and surname had felt so familiar.

“Han’s his father,” she breathed, cursing herself for not thinking of it before. 

“What?” Finn peeked over the edge and all but fainted. _“_ Is that _Kylo Ren?!_ Han’s _his_ father?”

That dark mask, reflecting red light from below, stared transfixed at the older man before he also stepped out onto the catwalk.

“Han Solo.” The vocoder hissed with contempt. “I've been waiting a long time for this day.”

“Take off that mask,” Han commanded. “You don't need it.”

A low scoff punctuated the silence. “What do you think you'll see if I do?” 

Han took another step forward, grief and love underlining his words, “The face of _my son.”_

Ren’s gloved hands moved up just a fraction, before clenching into fists. “I have sworn to the Knights. No one may see my face.” He slammed his boot down in an angry stance, then spat out, “Your son is gone. He was weak and foolish.” He paused before adding in a cutting tone, “Like his father. So I destroyed him.”

Even from her view from the balcony, Rey could sense the strength of Han’s guilt and sorrow. “That's what Snoke wants you to believe. But it's not true. My son is alive.”

“No,” Ren shook his head, “The Supreme Leader is wise. I have honored the Shadow.” 

As Han moved closer, he warned in a stern voice Rey could imagine working on a young boy, “Snoke is using you for your power. When he gets what he wants, he'll crush you.” Perhaps he saw Ren’s posture falter a little, because his next words were gentle, entreating. “You know it's true.” 

Narrowing her eyes as she reached out, Rey was surprised to find that Ren _did_ know it was true. He simply didn’t care - or believed he shouldn’t.

“It’s too late,” he mumbled, and Rey’s hope would have been buoyed at his words if it weren’t for a seeping, growing darkness entangling Ren in thin, grasping fingers she could almost see.

“Something’s wrong,” she muttered uneasily to herself. Finn might have replied, but she didn’t hear it as she delved deeper into the Force, trying to understand.

“No, it's not,” Han offered, crossing the last bit of distance between them, the weak light from the dwindling sun outside encircling them. “Leave here with me. Come home.” His breath ragged, he nearly pleaded, “We miss you.”

Ren flinched at his words, the darkness around him thrashing its long limbs, its susurrant whispers still too faint for Rey to make out.

His helmet shifted to the side in a conflicted gesture she recognized. “I'm being torn apart,” he spoke at last, his own voice breaking. “I want to be free of this pain.” 

About to take another step, Han stopped himself, listening instead. 

“I know what I have to do, but I don't know if I have the strength to do it.” She could feel the pain in his words, the vulnerability, even as the rustling whispers grew louder. “Will you help me?”

“Yes. Anything.” 

The feeble sunlight from outside faded, and as Ren reached for his lightsaber, the shadows around him stilled, then reared up, singing in terrible, gleeful victory, rejoicing as they claimed him, as he chose the darkness, as he consumed what they had sent-

Her eyes flew open as their dark exultations finally became clear, as his thumb hovered over the activation switch.

“Ben, _no!”_ She screamed, leaning over the railing, tears streaming down her face, praying she was not too late. 

Both men, startled, looked up to where she stood, her gaze fixed on Ren as he stared at her, gripping his lightsaber.

“Freeze Rebel scum!”

Red blaster fire shot up at her, Finn pulling her out of the way just in time. As if they were newly activated droids, stormtroopers suddenly leapt into action, firing across the bridge at both Han and Ren, sending them stumbling in opposite directions. Chewbacca roared in response, firing his bowcaster to cover Han’s escape, then pressed the silver detonator.

Explosions rang out across the chamber, blasting stormtroopers into the abyss as Ren fell to one knee, then glanced back up at Rey and Finn beside her before whirling around and making for the exit, leaving her with his overwhelming sense of anger and betrayal.

With a useless swipe at her eyes, Rey ripped the last bit of wiring for the safety protocols loose, then was wrenched forwards by Finn’s grip on her hand.

“What are you doing?” She yelled as he dragged her outside and bolted for the treeline.

“Our ship’s this way!” He shouted back, fire and smoke stark against the white snow of the planet around them.

Yanking her hand back, she was about to ask about Han and Chewbacca when a choking, clawing fear suddenly flooded her senses. As she swiveled around to warn Finn, a whirring scythe sliced down his back, his eyes going wide in terror and confusion as he began to slump to the ground. As he fell, a dark form stepped out of the shadows and kicked him heavily into a tree, his impact making a sickening crunch.

“Leaving so soon?” The Reaper cooed, a wide, ready stance blocking her escape. “But we’re not done.”

As Finn’s blood seeped into the pristine snow, he lifted his scythe to beckon her forward. “Not yet, little bird. Not yet.”


	11. The Chasm

__

**_The Prophecy of the Ren:_ **

_In the dying days of the Light, the Shrouded Sun will arise._

_Her fire marks the Warriors of Night, her flame reveals the Shadow’s form._

_As the stars fade, as the spheres burn, she shall do battle with the Child of Darkness._

_Even as the Shrouded Sun claims her own, so shall she fall, and surrender her light._

* * *

As explosions rocked the oscillator, the flames and destruction roaring around Kylo were but sparks compared to the inferno raging within him.

He had been _so_ close. 

So close to proving his loyalty to the Shadow, to Snoke. The Shadow had sung to him, called his lightsaber forth, beckoned his finger to the activation switch, whispered praise and promises of what his future could hold. Unlimited power, universal respect, the galaxy at his feet.

If he had killed Han Solo, he would finally have rid himself of that last bit of weakness within him, that cursed desire for his parents’ love, approval, acceptance - all the things he had been denied for so long. Perhaps Snoke would deem it a worthy penance and accept the death of his father as a suitable offering in place of the scavenger girl his master so desperately craved. Maybe allow them to live in exile. 

_“Together,” she said, so much hope and promise in her eyes._

Igniting his saber, he slashed down a snow-laden tree that dared stand in his path.

_Damn_ her.

Damn the way he reacted to her voice, so full of grief and fear, instantly searching for her without care or thought for anything else.

Damn the small voice that murmured if she had barely forgiven him for Luke’s death, a legend she had never met, how would she look at him after killing his own father?

How would his mother…

And for good measure, damn that boy she was with, the one she had run off with, hand in hand.

He had come so far, risked so much, and she had chosen someone else without a second glance.

He ought to leave her here. Let her find her own way off of this imploding rock. See if hand-holding boy could help her then.

Kylo was halfway to his ship, the vindictive idea of waiting for her to crawl back to him, begging for a ride, still percolating pleasantly when an acrid presence suddenly crept into his mind. Slowing his stride, he glanced around the landscape obscured by snow and smoke, then froze as a terrified scream echoed through the trees.

Without a thought, he burst into a run, racing toward the sound, heart pounding in his chest. He had failed to protect her before. He wouldn’t let it happen again.

Practically flying across the snow, all his senses focused on that dark, seeping presence, he barely noticed the near-invisible monofilament wire hovering in the air at shin-height in front of him. Leaping clumsily over it, the wire sliced through his thick susurra-weave cloak as if it were fog, catching the heel of one boot and shearing the edge off easily.

Catching himself as he slid in the snow, he twisted around and held his saber at the ready as thick, noxious smoke billowed around him, dimming his sight and confusing his sensors.

“Ap’lek,” he growled, hunting for any sign of movement.

“Interesting,” a flat, emotionless voice spoke from within the fog. “The Reaper said if the girl was threatened, you’d see nothing else. You. The Jedi Killer. Curious.”

Kylo’s helmet sensors began flickering, reflecting the panic he wasn’t allowing himself to feel. Edging backwards, he tried to sense Ap’lek’s position but was met with that infuriating blankness that marked the Monk’s mental defenses.

“What is she to you?”

“Nothing,” Kylo snapped, swinging his saber out and meeting nothing but air. “Leave her be.”

“Why protect her?” His dark rictus appeared for a brief instant, then disappeared as Kylo lunged toward him. “What value does she have, other than Snoke’s plaything?”

Unbidden, bits of her essence filled Kylo’s mind.

Her fire as she fought him in the desert.

Her warmth lingering in his cloak.

Her blinding smile as she maneuvered the _Whisper_.

The weak yet proud gleam in her eyes as she motioned to the grenade-trapped walker.

The blaze of movement as she tested out the staff he gave her.

The heat searing through his soul as their fingers touched, burning him like a thousand-

“Sun?” The Monk swirled into view in front of him, his mask tilted incredulously. “You think she is the Shrouded Sun.”

Eyes widening, Kylo swallowed and shook his head. “No.”

“You believe she will fulfill the Prophecy.”

“No!”

“Whether she is or not,” he melted away as Kylo sliced at him. “Her doom is set. Her death is certain. You cannot stop it.”

Rage blazing through his veins, he pulled Luke’s lightsaber off his belt with his left hand, illuminating the thick fog with dueling reflections of crackling red and icy blue on either side of his dark helmet.

“I can try,” he hissed, whirling into a flickering storm as he charged.

…

“Finn!” Rey screamed again, her gaze torn between his still form and the predatory movements of the Reaper as he slowly stalked forward, palming the long handle of his weapon as the curved, fang-like blade hovered above the ground, its outer edge humming with ultrasonic speed as jagged teeth marked the inner curve.

“Easy, pet,” he soothed, his words raising the hair on her arms. “No need to worry. Soon you’ll have forgotten all about him.”

Drawing her blaster, she fired three successive shots at his head, all of which he dodged with uncanny speed and a gleeful laugh.

“My turn.”

Faster than her eyes could follow, his phrik scythe snaked out toward her, the ultrasonic vibrations of the blade blurring its movement, and sliced just below her shoulder. As she cried out and stumbled back, he spun the handle around, the momentum carrying it across his neck and shoulders as it changed direction. It landed in his other hand in a fluid motion, and he lunged forward to make a matching cut on her other arm. 

Even as she retreated into the woods, the Reaper’s blade followed her path, tapping just the tip of her blaster and shearing off the barrel effortlessly. 

He shook his head in mock disappointment. “Too slow, little bird.”

Fighting against the shaking of her legs and the bitter taste of fear in her mouth, Rey bared her teeth at him in a defiant snarl, then grabbed a large branch from the ground and held it aloft.

“We’ll see.”

…

Twisting with his dual sabers in the slowly dissipating cloud of smoke, Kylo caught the edge of the raised metal teeth on Ap’lek’s gauntlets, just as the Monk raised his Mandalorian executioner’s axe and swung toward his side. Kylo leapt out of the way, but not before the curved blade cut deeply into his side.

As he grunted and staggered back against a tree, a sharp cry of pain rang out across the forest. Whipping his head around, he could finally make out Rey’s silhouette across the sunless clearing, and his heart nearly stopped as he saw her facing Vicrul - the Reaper himself - with nothing but a bit of wood.

Pain melding his anger, he glanced back to see the Reaper stalking Rey as he matched her every movement, laughing cruelly as his weapon sliced apart her makeshift staff piece by piece. 

“Rey!” Kylo breathed in fear, and she must have heard somehow, searching the forest until she found him, her terror and courage flooding the connection between them as she raised her free hand out to him in a useless gesture.

He had to do something to help her.

Something to protect her.

_Something._

_Anything._

A different power filled him, its soft warmth in sharp contrast to the hissing darkness that crept through his veins, an odd sort of calm settling around him, causing his grip to relax, his breathing to slow, and a crystal clear sense of purpose to surge within him.

Without any conscious thought as to what he was doing, he lifted his arm and launched the silver hilt in his palm through the air, Rey’s eyes following its path as the saber spun end over end.

Just as it arced downward, about to fall in the middle of the clearing, a sudden singing in the Force arose, startling Kylo into taking a step back as the lightsaber twitched mid-flight, then shot through the trees to land in Rey’s outstretched hand.

Kylo gaped at her in awe as she stared at the black and silver handle, confusion, disbelief, and uncertainty flitting across her face before her shoulders straightened, her chin lifted, and with a deep swelling in the Force, she switched the weapon on. The blue light reflected in her eyes as she shifted her grip and slowly turned to face the Reaper.

With her teeth bared in challenge, she charged at Vicrul, who retreated for the first time, before letting out a maniacal laugh as he raised his scythe and shrieked, “Yes!”

…

Rey couldn’t have described the sensation of the lightsaber in her hand. It was at once terrifying, wielding that amount of power from a legendary weapon, but strangely comforting, the humming blade calling to her, singing to her, the wholeness and rightness of its weight in her hands encompassing her entire being.

She was still afraid, her knuckles white against her grip on the saber as the Reaper tilted his head playfully, but the fear was no longer all she could feel - as if the first streak of dawn heralded the end to a nightmare. 

Holding the saber as she would her staff, she swung wildly, unused to its lightness, its balance, its feeling of almost being alive as it sang in her hands. The Reaper dodged out of her way, easily avoiding her wide chops as she felled surrounding trees, chuckling as she slashed and stabbed at him, until he flipped the head of his scythe up and around, trapping the blue blade between the teeth of the curved edge, the phrik hissing but remaining steady as the light pressed against it.

“Don’t think you’re the only one with surprises, pet,” he purred as Rey’s eyes went wide in shock, batting her saber aside as he went on the offensive.

She stumbled back, the ground quaking beneath her feet as a distant explosion rocked the planet, pinpricks of green and red light dotting the sky as TIE Fighters and X-Wings soared above the oscillator in the distance. The Reaper chased her through the woods, blocking her strikes and trying to mark her again, huffing a little as she held him off.

A chasm opened behind her, roots and branches collapsing into the gaping maw as the Reaper backed her up to its very edge, her hands and blade shaking as her footing gave way, little by little, under the steady pressure from his vibro-tech weapon.

“Poor little kelbird. If only you had a teacher, what skill you might have had.” His silver gridded helm leaned closer. “Pity we’ll never know.”

_“You need a teacher,” he growled in her memory, storming to a gray boulder. “What do you know of the Force?”_

“The Force,” she breathed aloud, turning her head just enough to see Ren, illuminated with crackling red light, similar yet so different from her vision, whirling in a cloud of fading fog as he slashed at the Monk’s long axe. As if he sensed her gaze, his helmet shifted toward her, the snowfall slowing around them.

Closing her eyes, she reached for him, following the angry tempest of darkness and light, pushing past the red and blue flashes battling each other until she found herself in the refuge of the eye of the storm. It felt warm, calm, a light scent of dust on the wind.

_“Breathe,” she heard his voice echo around her, ghostly fingers pressing against her hand. “Just breathe.”_

Her lungs filled, then released as her eyes opened, and all traces of fear, of uncertainty, of unease fell away. Snarling at the Reaper, she spun out of his trap, adjusting her stance and grip as familiarity and knowledge of the weapon that did not belong to her flowing through her mind. 

Her attacker backed away, his mask canting curiously as her movements became more precise, parrying his strikes and lunging forward to slice his arm in the same place as her still-bleeding wound. His demeanor quickly darkened from lighthearted to livid as a twisting stroke carved his reptilian scaled cloak in two, the ends still glowing from the heat of her blade as he was driven to his knees.

“Naughty little lothcat,” he spat, his scythe suddenly blurring faster than her eyes could see as he activated the ultrasonic chamber. “Let’s cut those claws.”

…

As Kylo felt Rey’s focus recenter, bringing up every form of combat he had studied, a sense of sheer awe filled him. She shouldn’t be able to slip into his mind so easily, to have her voice call to him so strongly, to summon his memories and affect his emotions with nothing more than a frightened glance. To somehow convince him to give up Luke’s lightsaber - _his_ saber, by every right - without uttering a single word...

Taking advantage of his distraction, Ap’lek chopped at his shoulder, the ultrasonic axe deftly maneuvering around Kylo’s crackling red blade and biting into the thick padding above his collarbone. He let out a cry of rage as he flipped the hilt over to attack the Monk with a backhanded strike, a sharp pain exploding below his ribs halting his movement and threatening to black out his vision. 

Stomping his foot on the ground as he widened his stance, he clenched his fist and pounded against his wound, deadening the pain to a dull throb. Channeling the burning fire in his side with the fury in his blood, he slashed savagely, relying more on brute strength than any actual technique to keep Ap’lek back, that dark maw of the mask studying his every move with a detached air.

As the Monk circled him, Kylo held out his saber, tapping into the keening wail of the cracked kyber crystal within as he rotated the black hilt. The long axe snaked out toward his wrist, and he twisted the red blade to block it, his back foot sliding around for better purchase on the icy ground.

Too late he felt the tripwire pressing against his calf, his balance already compromised as he fell to the ground, his saber extinguished as his hand braced for impact. Wounded, fallen, a breath away from defeat, Kylo looked up to see the unfeeling death mask looming above him, the ancient executioner’s axe humming with glee as it swung down to fulfill its purpose.

...

With a wide, horizontal slice, the Reaper cut at Rey’s side, only to be met by her saber before she swung her arms up over her head to deliver a powerful downward strike. The Reaper managed to evade, but with a quick turn of her wrist, she swatted his scythe away and delivered a heavy kick to the center of his chest, toppling him into the snow.

Her rush of victory was at once tempered with a cold wash of fear, and she peered through the forest to see Ren, flat on his back, red staining the white powder beneath him as the Monk raised his axe.

_“NO!”_ She screamed with every fiber of her being, and the ground under her feet began to quake, as if magnifying her outcry.

A gorge yawned open between the two pairs of combatants with an ear-splitting _crack_ , whole trees and boulders tumbling into the crevasse below as the Monk fought to keep his footing, his axe wavering in the air. With the last bit of his strength, Ren stretched out his hand and _shoved_ with the Force. The monumental effort only moved the Monk a few inches back, but as Rey watched, heart pounding in her chest and dread rolling off of her in waves, the small shift was just enough. Another tremor rippled through the ground, and with a startled cry, the Monk plummeted into the ravine.

Pure instinct sent Rey jumping back, the blurred edge of the phrik scythe just missing her legs as the Reaper staggered to his feet, a low, ghoulish chuckle rasping out from his vocoder.

“What a prize you are, little bird. Come. Sing for me one last time.”

With superhuman speed, he feinted toward her left shoulder, the curved tip of the scythe quickly diving down to her right knee, which Rey barely evaded in time, catching the backbone of the blade with her saber. Giggling madly, he twisted around until both their weapons were locked together, the heat of her lightsaber singeing the hair on her face even as it sizzled against the metal of his helmet.

“Not quite strong enough, my pet,” he cooed, and she could hear the vicious grin lacing his words.

Lifting her chin in defiance, Rey slipped her hand off the activation switch, dropping down as the Reaper stared at the space where the saber used to be, then slammed her elbow into his chest with the full force of every muscle in her body. Disbelief lined his stance as the Reaper tumbled back, his silver gridded mask still staring at her in bewilderment as the abyss swallowed him.

“I am not your _pet_ ,” she spat as he fell into darkness.

…

Grimacing as he struggled to stand, Kylo had to steady himself on a nearby tree as he watched Rey snarl ferociously into the chasm. Part of him knew that the planet was rapidly destabilizing from the dark energy of the thermal oscillator, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that she had commanded the ground to open beneath her, with all the glorious strength of a goddess of old.

With a final glare into the void, she turned, searching the woods until her gaze landed on a dark form on the edge of the clearing.

“Finn!” She shouted, running through the copse of trees. A jolt of jealousy shot through him.

_Traitor,_ he pouted darkly.

“Kid!”

They both swiveled around at the sound of the familiar voice echoing distantly through the woods, followed by a worried roar in Shyriiwook.

Rey snapped her gaze over to Kylo as he stood on the other side of the great gulf, those amber eyes asking him a question she should already know the answer to.

“Go,” he told her and she blinked in surprise.

“No,” she argued, that stubborn lift of her chin returning. “Not without you.”

Glaring at her from behind his visor, he tried to command her again. _“Go.”_

“Ben,” she called softly, her voice carrying across the Force. “Come with us.”

The rustling of branches and growls grew closer as he shook his head.

Her brows furrowed as a sheen came over her eyes. “Please.”

They stared at each other for an eternal moment before his eyes flicked to the approaching figures of Han and Chewie. 

“I can’t.”

...

Another tremor shook the ground, and with grief and frustration filling her heart, Rey fell to her knees and cradled Finn’s limp body, shouting over her shoulder, “Here! We’re over here!”

Han and Chewie burst out of trees, adjusting their course to rush over, the Wookiee scooping Finn into his arm as Han helped Rey off the ground.

“You alright, kid?”

Nodding wearily, Rey watched Chewbacca carry her friend away, then glanced back to Ren one last time.

Han followed her line of sight, stiffening as he saw the dark-cloaked form of Kylo Ren across the fissure, standing unsteadily in the murky twilight. With a scowl Rey felt even through his mask, Kylo turned and marched away. Her jaw clenched in anger and worry as a phantom pain flared in her side, a vicarious reminder of his injuries.

The planet let loose another threatening quake, shaking her out of her stupor as Han led the way to the Falcon, both of them stumbling onto the ramp as the entire ship shuddered.

“Chewie, get us out of here!” Han called, scrambling up to the cockpit as Rey stared out at the trembling forest, a single tear rolling down her cheek as the ramp hissed closed behind her.

* * *

[ Hi-res version here ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/598247991005937677/680489870963113984/Knights_of_Ren_Holonet_File_Aplek_Edit.png)

[ Hi-res version here ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/598247991005937677/680489963388665864/Vicrul_Holonet_File_Edit.png)


	12. The Code

* * *

Wincing as the healing liquid stung her wounds, Rey sat next to Finn, eyeing him anxiously as the  _ Millennium Falcon’s _ engines hummed softly beneath her.

He was on his side, a series of bacta patches overlapping each other along his spine, only the slight rise and fall of his chest indicating that he was still alive. His face was wan and gray with blood loss, and the guilt of knowing this was  _ all her fault _ threatened to swallow her up.

Hesitantly, she slipped her hand into Finn’s limp one, trying with all her might to tell him she was sorry. She paused, then blinked as a vague sense of worry echoed in her mind. But not for himself.

For her.

He was worried about  _ her _ .

All at once, the weight of the whole day, the whole cycle of days, hit her like a speeder crash. A few muffled sobs escaped her despite her best efforts, and she could have sworn Finn’s hand tightened around hers just a fraction. The idea that someone simply  _ cared  _ about her - not for what she could give them or how they could use her - was both overwhelming and relieving at the same time.

Approaching footsteps slowed as Rey hurriedly wiped her eyes and cheeks.

“You alright, kid?” Han asked, sitting on a crate across from her.

She nodded and attempted a wan smile. “The bacta helps.” Looking to Finn, she squeezed his hand once more before pulling the rough blanket a little higher over his shoulder. “I just hope we can get him to a med-bay in time.”

“We will. The Resistance doesn’t have the fanciest tech, but their people know what they’re doing.”

The vice around her heart relaxed just a bit. “Good.”

Silence settled over them, and Rey glanced up to see Han studying her carefully. Realizing that he must have a thousand questions, and probably didn’t think he could trust her - stars, should she even trust  _ him? _ \- she was surprised when he only spoke a single sentence.

“You knew his name.”

She tried to think of a way to explain why she knew Ben. That he was her… Enemy? Captor? Rescuer? Friend?

Staring at the floor, voice heavy with grief, Han simply asked, “How?”

“I…” As unhelpful as it might be, Rey decided to go with the truth. “I heard it. In his memories.”

Han’s eyes widened. “You’re a Force-user.”

Rey nodded.

Rubbing his face, he let out a tired sigh. “Got any training?”

“Some.” She stared at the floor and shook her head. “Not enough.”

Rolling his neck, Han tapped his fingers against his knee in thought. “Alright. I guess we can get someone to take you to the General before we leave.”

An angry growl resonated from the cockpit, telling Han that he couldn’t just run away instead of talking, and he couldn’t avoid her forever.

“I am not running away!” Han shouted back.

Rey tilted her head. “Avoid who?”

Han pinned her with an irate stare that felt so much like Ben’s her heart skipped a beat as Chewbacca laughed from his seat.

…

Rebels swarmed the ship after they landed on D’Qar, Chewie carefully placing Finn onto a repulsor-sled after reassuring her that he was in good hands. Rey, torn between following them and staying out of their way, settled for helping Han tidy up around the ship for a few minutes before heading down the ramp.

“Leaving so soon?” 

She froze before she figured out the melodic female voice wasn’t speaking to her.

Hidden behind the  _ Falcon’s _ undercarriage, Rey could just make out Han’s bashful shrug. “One of the few things I’m good at.”

An older woman stepped into view, her hair up in an elegant twist, and frowned at him as she heard what he was trying not to say.

“Han,” her commanding tone pulled his eyes up from the ground. “What happened?”

Swallowing thickly, he shook his head. “I couldn’t bring him home, Leia,” he mumbled in anguished defeat. “I tried. I saw him, I could almost reach out and touch him, but…”

The woman, who Rey belatedly realized must be  _ the  _ Leia Organa, moved closer as Han covered his eyes.

“I tried to tell him… To tell him we miss him. That he could come home, but…”

As his words were swallowed up in sorrow, Leia reached out her arms and buried her face in his chest.

“Hold me,” she whispered, and they both embraced each other with the weariness and comfort born of long years of familiarity.

“I failed,” he sobbed quietly into her hair. “I failed him and I failed you.”

She glanced up, her own eyes bright with unshed tears, and raised a hand to his cheek. “No, Han. You didn’t.”

Rey tried to fade back into the ship, acutely aware that this conversation was not meant for her ears, and nearly tripped over a crate of tools. Looking up with a wince, she saw Leia staring at her curiously while Han swiped quickly at his eyes.

“I’m… I’m so sorry, I didn’t… I wasn’t… I’ll just-”

“It’s alright,” Leia smiled, beckoning her forward. “What’s your name?”

“I… I’m Rey.”

Coughing loudly, Han made a wide, vague gesture. “Found her escaping a First Order prison on Starkiller. Pretty handy on the  _ Falcon _ .”

Raising her eyebrows at him, Leia turned back to Rey with a smile. “High praise.”

“She’s a Force-user too.”

“Untrained,” Rey rushed to add as Leia’s gaze sharped. 

“Walk with me,” the woman invited, and Han murmured something to her before she left. Leia nodded, then pointed a finger at him. “Don’t run off.”

He gave her a wry, affectionate grin. “Wouldn’t dream of it, Your Worship.”

As they walked to the Resistance base, Leia pulled her into a small room and poured her a cup of something warm and sweet. 

“Most people here enjoy caf, but I’m partial to tea, myself,” she spoke conversationally, as if they were in an elegant palace instead of quarters at a Rebel base. Rey accepted the cup and tried not to look out of place or nervous talking to Princess General Leia Organa herself.

“Where are you from?”

“Oh. Nowhere.”

“Hm,” Leia studied her carefully. “Han said you know Ben? How so?”

As the strangely soothing taste of the tea settled on her tongue, and as Leia smiled kindly and gently, without pressing or judgment, Rey found the story suddenly pouring out of her. All of it, from that day on Jakku when she fled from the dark stranger with a tracking fob, to fighting nightwatchers and telling him her name. The small village on Takodana that almost felt safe, almost could have been home until the Sniper came, to Maz and her vision and the lightsaber. The Reaper and the Monk capturing her, and fighting with Ben and watching him with Han, to Finn getting hurt and the fight in the woods and everything in between.

Leia listened intently, her face betraying nothing until Rey neared the end and found tears threatening to overflow as she confessed if she’d only been stronger, if she’d been better, if she’d found the right words, then maybe Ben would have come with them. Finn wouldn’t have gotten hurt, she’d be able to protect-

Her tirade was suddenly halted by Leia pulling her into a warm hug, tucking Rey into her shoulder as she wept, the first real motherly embrace in Rey’s memory causing her to cry all the more.

After the tears ceased, Rey felt… lighter. Everything was still the same, but having a friendly ear still somehow made all the difference.

“It is not your fault. Ben-” Leia’s voice cracked a little on her son’s name, but she pressed on. “Ben has to make his own choices. Just as we all do.”

She sipped her tea, then gave Rey a rueful smile. “I am glad to know that he has one friend, in all this. Perhaps there is still some hope for him yet.”

Standing, she laid a gentle hand on Rey’s shoulder. “Rest here a while. I’m sure you could use it.”

Her eyelids all at once felt incredibly heavy, and as Leia took her leave, Rey curled up under a warm blanket and fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

…

He was in the crew’s quarters, staring at her bed.

Granted, it looked identical to the three other bunks in the room, but the slight indent and lingering sense of sand and fire marked it indelibly as hers.

Picking up the staff leaning by the slim pillow, he held it in his hands for a long moment, the memory of her bright smile and flurry of movements with it playing over again in his mind.

He was being ridiculous. What should he care about her things, now that she had abandoned him? Run off with karking Han Solo, of all people, to join the shabbing Resistance. Let them protect her from the remaining three Knights. See how well  _ that  _ worked out for her.

(Nevermind the gaping hole in his side, still being healed by the third set of bacta patches. Nevermind the giant gulf between them, too wide for either of them to cross. Nevermind that he had told her to go, to be safe, to get off of the imploding planet however she could. Her betrayal still stung more than he cared to admit.)

His bare hands caressed the staff as he rotated it, seeking warmth in metal long gone cold. He touched his throat gingerly as he recalled the first day they met, her feral snarls as she pummeled him with her crude weapon, her ability to surprise him, even then. When he had asked the question that had plagued him the entire mission, that still plagued him now.

Who was she?

A nobody who wielded the Force with ease. 

A scavenger who changed everything she touched.

She had changed his ship, his mission, his loyalty, his claim to his birthright…

A slow sense of warmth seeped in behind him, and he turned to see Rey sitting up with a yawn, rubbing her eyes as soft sunlight played in her loosening chestnut hair. A strange tightness gripped his chest as he stared at her, blinking sleepily at her surroundings until her gaze landed on him.

“Ben,” she called softly, then canted her head as she looked at his hands.

At first he thought it was because he had removed his gloves, but then he glanced down and saw he was still holding her staff. Dropping it with a clang, he clasped his hands behind his back, then froze at the sight of healing scars on her arms.

“Are you alright?” He asked, his anger at the Reaper only slightly mollified at the Knight’s death.

She nodded, now biting her lip at the glimpse of a large bacta pad covering the wound in his side. “You?”

“It’s nothing,” he mumbled, shifting his tunic until it covered the torn fabric of his undershirt. Working his mouth around beneath his helmet, he managed to grit out, “So. Has Han Solo disappointed you yet?”

Rey furrowed her brows. “If by that you mean helped me and taken me somewhere safe, then yes,” she snarked.

“It’s only a matter of time. Failure is in his nature,” he muttered bitterly.

For some reason, this caused Rey to glare at him. She opened her mouth, no doubt to yell some disparaging comment, then stopped herself.

“They miss you,” she whispered finally. “Both Han and your mother.”

He ignored the small pang in his heart, covering it with anger instead. “They miss a child they never had,” he meant to growl, but somehow the words came out sounding almost… bereft.

Silence grew between them, until Rey asked quietly, “Were you really going to kill him?”

“...yes.”

She glanced up at him, her face full of something abhorrently close to disappointment. “Why?”

His hands clenched into fists. “Because he was weak.” 

_ Because he made me weak. _

“Because I don’t need him.”

_ Because all I wanted was for him to care. _

Darkness hissed around him, reminding him of his oath. “Because I take what the galaxy offers. I consume what the Shadow sends.”

_ “Then why save me?” _ Rey demanded, getting to her feet, fire in her eyes. 

Taken aback, Kylo blinked at her. “You’d rather I leave you to Snoke?”

“I’d rather you face the truth,” she told him, setting her jaw stubbornly. “Either you believe in your Code or you don’t.”

Rage began to thrum through his veins. The Code was the first thing that was truly his own. Not because of his mother or father or uncle.  _ His _ . 

His choice. His oath. His temper, his wrath, his hate were valued as a Knight. Violence and death were commonplace, even encouraged, in the Ren. All that was asked of him was to serve the night, to obey the darkness.

“I have honored the Shadow,” he growled out. 

“There is honor in  _ protecting  _ life!” Rey shouted at him, furious tears in her eyes. “Not in destroying it. Not in throwing it away.”

“Like you were?”

Rey let out a sharp gasp, flinching as if struck by a physical blow.

He knew it was cruel. He knew it hit at the heart of her loneliness, of her fear, of her hurt. But the writhing darkness echoed his anger, his growing unease that she might be right, his pain at the reminder of his family, and the ugly words spilled out of him without care for the damage they would cause.

Stepping forward almost as if to slap him, she pointed angrily. “You have parents who love you! Who give a damn about you! Do you have any idea what I would do to-” Biting back the rest of her sentence, she swallowed, then looked at him in cold fury.

“No. I don’t suppose you do,” she spat, then turned on her heel and marched out of his sight, leaving him alone with his tumultuous thoughts in his empty ship.

…

Without any knowledge of where she was going, Rey ran out of the small room, trying to find an out-of-the-way corner where she could either sob to herself or punch an inanimate substitute for Ben’s idiotic helmet. Rushing down a hallway, she turned into a small information terminal and nearly tripped over a small droid. 

The round, orange and white BB unit let out an alarmed beep, which dropped in pitch as she slid down the wall, wrapping her arms around her legs and resting her face against her knees. Rolling forward cautiously, the robot gave her a concerned trill.

“I’m alright,” she sniffed unconvincingly. “I’m alright, I’m…”

Slowing, Rey looked up as the semi-circular head tilted to mimic her. “Your antenna’s bent,” she remarked distantly, and the BB unit shifted forward until she could reach it.

As she fiddled with the wire, the droid beeped again. 

She gave a wan smile. “It’s nice to meet you, BB-8. I’m Rey.”

Once the antenna was fixed, she popped it back in place and took a deep breath. “I just had a fight with my friend,” she told him softly. “And I don’t even know…” Biting her lip, she tried to fight back the fresh wave of tears. “I don’t know if he is my friend anymore.”

BB-8 hummed sympathetically, then asked if she wanted to share his friend.

“Poe, huh? He sounds nice.”

The droid nodded enthusiastically as he offered to guide Rey to the med-bay where Poe was checking in on-

Rey jumped to her feet. “Finn? You know where Finn is?”

Whirring happily, BB sped off through the corridor, weaving through curious onlookers and busy authority figures until a pair of white doors slid open to reveal a room bathed in sterile light, Finn’s unconscious form lying still on a small cot. BB spun over to a dark-haired man who was rubbing his hands absently while staring at her friend.

“Hey there buddy,” he smiled at the orange and white unit, already earning him favor in Rey’s eyes. The quickest way to get the measure of a person was to see how they treated droids. Kindness to droids, especially on Jakku, was exceptionally rare.

BB chirped excitedly, then swiveled around to indicate Rey.

The man stood and stretched out his hand with a nearly blinding charismatic smile. “Poe. Poe Dameron.”

“Rey,” she responded, returning the gesture. His handshake was neither testing nor overpowering, and she liked him even more.

Poe tilted his head curiously. “BB says you know Finn?”

“Yes, we…” she repressed a surge of guilt. “We met on Starkiller.”

He stared, then snapped his fingers. “Wait, you’re the First Order prisoner that escaped? And helped blow up the superweapon?”

Rey blinked. “I… yes?”

Another wide grin broke across his face. “Everyone has been talking about you! You’re a hero!”

“I am?”

“Absolutely! I cannot believe I ran into... Hey, are you hungry?”

A little thrown by the change of subject, Rey beamed nevertheless. “Always!”

“Great. The mess hall is this way. You gotta tell me how you destabilized the thermal oscillator.”

After a concerned look at Finn and the pad of mysterious medical readings, Rey turned to see Poe watching her with gentle eyes.

“He’ll be alright. They said the bacta’s working. He’s healing slowly, but he is getting better.”

Glancing at Finn once more, she nodded and followed Poe out into the corridor. 

“How do you know Finn?” She asked.

“He busted me out of the First Order, then we crash-landed on Jakku-”

“I’m from Jakku!”

“Wait, seriously? How crazy is that?”

As they walked to the dining hall, Poe nodded and waved at most everyone as he piled her plate high with food, chatting to her the whole way. But even though for the first time in weeks, her stomach was full, her breathing was easier, and she wasn’t looking over her shoulder for possible pursuit, she still couldn’t shake a nagging feeling that something was missing.

Or someone.


	13. The Path

* * *

Rey wandered through the Resistance corridors, not exactly aimlessly, but somewhat… adrift.

Han had been spending more time with Leia, which Chewie told her was a good sign for the both of them, and Chewie had been busy repairing the Falcon, growling darkly as Rey pointed out the modifications Plutt added to the ship back on Jakku.

When she had marveled that she had never known the junked ship in Unkar’s possession was the Millennium Falcon, sitting practically at her feet, Rey wondered what would have happened if she had simply flown away in it one day, instead of scrubbing metal for all those years.

The Wookiee had cast a sidelong look at her before declaring that all roots lead to the Origin Tree, which Rey took as a comment about the inevitability of destiny.

But with Han and Chewie busy, Finn in a coma, and not knowing Poe or Leia well enough, Rey found herself with nothing to do but sit by Finn’s bed, waiting and worrying, which was somehow worse than running for her life.

Even when she had been looking over her shoulder for the Knights or Snoke to appear, at least she had Ren to-

Wincing, she thrust the thought away, but not before the bite of his words stung anew.

_“There is honor in protecting life! Not throwing it away!”_

_That blank mask radiating rage as he sneered, “Like you were?”_

After all their time together, she thought he was different. That he saw her for her skill at flying, at fixing things, at never giving up. That he didn’t care she was a no one, a desert scavenger with nothing but scraps and castoffs, whose parents had tossed her away without even a family name.

“Guess I was wrong,” she muttered to herself, swiping at her tears before the med-bay doors opened. 

As she glanced inside and sighed at the prospect of sitting alone with her thoughts again, BB tilted his head in concern, then asked if she wanted to meet his low-power friend too.

“Low-power friend?” Rey repeated curiously.

Whirring excitedly, he led her to a storage bay where an older droid whose body might have been white and blue at some point was sitting quietly, lights and internal gears gone quiet.

“Wow,” she breathed, stroking the dust-covered dome gently. “This is one of the R2 series, I think. He’s in pretty good condition, all things considered.”

“I’d say we both are,” came a formal voice to her left, and Rey nearly fell over in surprise.

“I am so sorry, Mistress. I did not mean to cause any alarm,” a golden droid assured her, shuffling forward as if to help.

“Oh, it’s… it’s alright. And I’m not ‘Mistress’. I’m just Rey.”

“Mistress Rey,” the protocol droid nodded. “An honor to meet you. I am C-3PO, human-cyborg relations. And this is R2-D2.”

Reminding herself that he couldn’t help his programming, Rey smiled. “Nice to meet you.”

“I’m so glad you’ve come to see poor Artoo. I fear he gets lonely, despite the fact that he’s been in low-power mode for years. We used to have such adventures with Master Luke, but now-”

Rey canted her head at him. “Master Luke?”

Letting out a trail of clicks and chirps, BB-8 chimed in as she gaped.

_“Luke Skywalker?_ This was Luke Skywalker’s droid?”

“We both were, back in the Age of the Empire,” Threepio informed her. “We belonged to a series of masters before him, beginning with-”

A slow whirring interrupted him as the small lights dotting Artoo’s logic display started to blink, picking up speed as the red process status indicator turned on. BB chittered eagerly at Artoo as Rey stared in wonder.

“R2-D2! You’ve come back!” C-3PO’s tinny voice cheered.

The older droid beeped in a combination of rebuke and greeting as he woke up, mentioning something about dreams and a message and a map.

“No, you gave the message from Princess Leia to Master Obi-Wan and Master Luke decades ago,” Threepio told him, earning a loud raspberry blown his direction.

“How dare you call me that!” The protocol droid stammered, swatting the side of Artoo’s dome as he continued whistling. “Wait, you’ve found what?”

Artoo repeated himself impatiently, a few rude clicks thrown in for good measure.

“Oh! I must tell the General at once!” C-3PO announced before hurrying off.

“A map… to Luke Skywalker?” Rey asked, and both BB and Artoo chirped affirmatively as she sat heavily on the floor in complete shock.

“He’s alive?”

…

As BB-8 collected a memory drive from Poe and projected the missing piece into Artoo’s map, a collective gasp ran through the crowd of Resistance fighters while Han and Leia glanced at each other with cautious hope.

Rey, perched in the back on top of a crate, tried to marshal her thoughts into some kind of order.

Luke Skywalker, the legend, the myth, the last Jedi, was real.

Luke Skywalker, Ren’s uncle, his teacher, the man he said he _killed,_ was alive.

Did he know?

She thought back to that moment, trapped in that sterile prison cell, a single word hanging in the air after she asked him, accused him, of Luke’s death.

“Yes.”

His memories floating across to her.

His pain, his grief, his despair as his lightsaber flared blue against the descending green blade. 

His scream at the sky, the temple ablaze, as a slithering voice told him this was what he was meant to be.

Shaking off the vicarious emotions, Rey shook her head. No, she decided. He believed Luke was dead, and everything else aside, he had never lied to her.

What would he do if he found out?

“Rey!” She looked up to see Leia waving her over, grabbing Han’s arm as he tried to slink away.

“Not so fast, flyboy,” she turned to give him a harrowing look as Rey cautiously grew closer. “You and Chewie have to go get Luke.”

Han sighed as he propped his hands on his hips. “C’mon Leia, you’ve gotta have a hundred hero-worshippers who’d give their right arm for the honor of fetching Luke Skywalker.”

“And he won’t come back for any of them. You know that,” she argued, crossing her arms

Han scratched the back of his head. “He might-”

“He won’t.” The General interrupted firmly. “He’s not going to budge for anyone smaller than a Wookiee or less stubborn than you.”

“Hey!”

“Han,” Leia’s voice gentled. “It has to be you. And Chewie. And Rey.”

Somewhat surprised at being included, Rey blinked. “Me?”

“I get the feeling this is something you have to do,” Leia explained, contemplative. “And you said you needed training.”

“From _Luke Skywalker?!”_ She nearly squeaked.

Shrugging, Han waved a hand. “His bark is worse than his bite.”

As Leia bit back a smile, Rey stared and shook her head emphatically. “I don’t think that’s true _at all.”_

...

“You check the drive units yet?” Han called out as Rey continued loading crates onto the Falcon. 

Chewie roared back an affirmative as he double-checked the undercarriage of the forward mandibles. 

“Alright, alright, I just wanted to make sure they aren’t getting gunked up after-”

“Taking off?” Leia interrupted with a wry smile.

Han turned. “Getting close. Why? You kicking us out already?”

Something flickered across Leia’s face too quickly for Rey to decipher, but Han’s posture stiffened. “What is it?”

Sighing, Leia glanced up from the ground. “Word is the First Order is closing in on our location. We’re evacuating tomorrow.”

“You sure you don’t need me to stay?” Han asked quietly.

“And do what, get in the way?” She teased with a wan smile. “No, we’ve prepared for this. We’ll be alright. What I need you to do is-”

“Get Luke, I know, I know.”

“No. I need you to _come back.”_ Leia stepped forward, sliding a transmitter bracelet onto his wrist. “Come back to me.”

Han looked down at the cloaked binary beacon, the blue light pulsing in time to the one on her own wrist, then pulled her in for a deep, loving kiss. Rey, somewhat startled, blinked and blushed at their ardor, while Chewbacca grumbling something like ‘about damn time’.

Once they parted, Han leaned his forehead against Leia’s and whispered, “Always.”

About to head up the ramp to the Falcon, Rey saw Han give Leia a fond smile, then do a double-take as he spotted Poe walking away from checking his X-Wing. Hurrying over, he grabbed the pilot’s arm with a no-nonsense glare.

“Hey, hotshot-”

“Han, you know my name. You’ve known my name for years,” Poe sighed.

“Can it, flyboy. Now-”

“And my rank. Commander Dameron. It’s not that-”

“Just shut up for a second,” he growled. “I need you to listen-”

“I’ll listen to you when you actually take a moment to remember my-”

“I need you to listen to _her,”_ Han snapped forcefully, causing Poe to stop and stare. “You’re a Commander, act like it. If she gives you an order, you follow it. I don’t care if you don’t think it’s smart, or right, or the heroic thing to do, you do it.”

A variety of emotions flit across his face as Han searched for words. “She… she’s got enough hotshots screwing up her life.” 

Drawing back, Poe looked at him with a flicker of understanding.

“What she needs is someone who… who actually listens. That she can count on. Can you do that, _Commander Dameron?”_

Poe nodded slowly, newfound respect in his eyes. 

“Good.” Han leaned in close. “Because if you don’t, I will hunt you down and shoot you myself.”

Releasing his grip, Han marched off toward the Falcon while BB-8 gave a subdued whistle.

“Yeah buddy, I think he did mean it,” Poe remarked before saluting Rey and heading back to base.

Rey watched Han with a soft appreciation as he drew closer, until he saw her staring at him and barked, “What’re you looking at?”

“It’s nice to see you care,” she answered, which made him look almost offended.

“I- How- Just- Get on the ship!” He sputtered finally, storming off as a deep, Wookiee-like laugh echoed down the corridor.

Smiling in private amusement, Leia came around to the Falcon’s ramp and pulled Rey in for a motherly hug. “Be careful out there.”

“I will.”

She pointed firmly. “And don’t let him bully you.”

Rey laughed. “I won’t. Promise.”

As she joined Poe and BB-8, Leia turned back with a soft smile. “Rey. May the Force be with you.”

The blessing settled around her like a warm blanket, bringing a touch more peace to her heart as the ramp closed.

…

The journey to the Unknown Regions was long, even with the _Whisper’s_ top-of-the-line hyperdrive. It gave Kylo far too much time to sit with his thoughts.

_“I take what the galaxy offers. I consume what the Shadow sends.”_

_“Then why save me?” Rey snarled, her hazel eyes blazing._

...with his doubts.

_“Either you believe in your Code or you don’t.”_

_“I have honored the Shadow,” he hissed, ignoring the uncertainty growing within him._

...with his fears.

_‘Even as the Shrouded Sun claims her own, so shall she fall, and surrender her light.’_

_The Monk’s death mask melted into smoke. “Her doom is set. Her death is certain. You cannot stop it.”_

_“Snoke will unmask you for the traitor you are,” the Sniper gloated, “and then he will_ unmake _her.”_

Kylo’s eyes snapped open as the computer snobbily informed him they had arrived at their destination, along with a warning about the increasing instability of the adjoining star system. Kylo looked outside to a planet covered in dark, roiling storms, the long arms of a single enormous hurricane wrapping around the entire atmosphere. 

Umbr’A.

The home of the Shadow.

Letting out a deep breath, he piloted the ship down to the surface, where the centuries-old Temple of Ren lay at the heart of the miles-wide eye of the squall.

This was where he was made a Knight.

Where Kylo Ren was born.

He landed in front of a temple built of dark stone, jagged points overlapping each other as it rose to the clouds, almost like the teeth of a monstrous creature frozen in time, the lights from his ship the only illumination in the piercing darkness. The planet’s sun had died eons ago, leaving a scorched rock floating in the sky above, casting further shade on a planet in constant night. 

As he walked toward the obsidian shrine, the stones reflected the memory of his first visit to Umbr’A.

_“Master, what is this place?” He asked, a small quiver of fear in his voice that even the vocoder in his newly gifted helmet couldn’t hide._

_Snoke’s warped and scarred visage gave him an unsettling smile. “This is the home of the Shadow. The Dark Side of the Force does not have a birthplace, but this is a… dwelling place.”_

_They approached the entrance of the clawed temple, the darkness beyond shifting and roiling with a life of its own. His skin prickled underneath his armor, an eerie cold washing over him._

_Watching him carefully, Snoke continued, “It is here the Knights were created, and so shall you be… Kylo Ren.”_

_And with the pronouncement of his name, his master pushed him inside - into the waiting arms of the Shadow._

...

_The darkness spat Kylo out untold hours later, weak, trembling, lungs rushing to fill with gasping breaths as the sharp rocks pressed against his gloves and knees, more exhausted than he had ever been in all his twenty years._

_Unused to the helmet, he started a little when the sensors indicated movement, highlighting multiple pairs of black boots in front of him, splattered with blood and dust. He looked up to see a series of dark-clad forms standing between him and the ship._

_“Knights!” Snoke’s voice called out above the howling winds gleefully. “I present your new master. Kylo Ren.”_

_The six figures before him exchanged glances between themselves as he struggled to rise to his feet, hoping his cloak shielded his shaking legs from their view._

_“And who are you to be our master?” One Knight demanded, a huge war club balanced over one shoulder as he stepped forward in challenge. “Why did the Shadow choose him?”_

_He waited for Snoke to explain, to defend him, but his master simply watched him in amused silence._

_He was on his own._

_Swallowing, Kylo lifted his chin, cloaking his fear in arrogance. “Because I killed Luke Skywalker. The last Jedi.”_

_The Knights shifted, whispered to each other._

_“He destroyed the Jedi temple,” his master chimed in finally. “Ridding the galaxy of all Skywalker’s pathetic pupils.”_

_He flinched under his helmet at the reminder._

_“I am Darth Vader’s grandson. His blood runs through me.”_

_“The Shadow cares not about blood!” The first Knight shouted. “Only about strength.”_

_“Ushar’s right,” another Knight interrupted, two long blinders reaching out on either side of his helmet. “This outsider cannot lead us. He is too weak.”_

_A drawling voice laughed as he hoisted a wicked-looking scythe. “I can smell his fear from here.”_

_“I’m not afraid,” Kylo snarled, clenching his fists, trying to control his anger._

Don’t, _Snoke’s voice slid into his mind._ Your anger is a gift. Use it.

_A figure with a long executioner’s axe tilted his head. “He lacks cunning. Experience. Knowledge of the Shadow.”_

_Ushar pointed his long war club at him and sneered, “There is too much light in him. He doesn’t have the will. Or the power.”_

_Guttural murmurs filled his ears, seeped into his chest, his veins, changing into the hushed tones of his parents as they whispered about him, the muffled laughter of the other students as he struggled with his lessons, the thrum of Luke’s green lightsaber held above his bed._

_“There is no way this mewling coward could ever-”_

_The Knight suddenly stopped, dropping his war club to grasp at his throat as his feet slowly lifted off the ground._

_The rest of the group grabbed their weapons uneasily, staring at Kylo’s outstretched hand as he raised Ushar into the air, the howling winds twisting around them._

_“I have been chosen by the Shadow,” he bellowed over the storm. “I have destroyed the remains of the Jedi. I am the Master of the Knights of Ren. I am the Child of Night. I_ am _Kylo Ren!”_

_Opening his fist, Ushar crashed to the ground, gasping for breath through his cracked vocoder. One by one, the Knights looked between him and their fallen comrade, then slowly knelt before him, bowing their heads as Snoke smiled in the dark._

“Good,” _he whispered in pleased satisfaction._

…

Letting out a long breath, Kylo stepped into the obsidian archway, allowing the nearly tangible blackness to engulf him. Walking to the center of the temple, he knelt and closed his eyes, surrounding himself with the everpresent night.

“Speak to me,” he asked softly. “I feel it again. The pull to the light. Show me again, the power of the darkness. Show me why you chose me. Show me who I am.”

_Who is she?_ The stray thought slipped underneath his prayer silently, but the Shadow heard it all the same.

Clawing, grasping fingers pulled pieces of her essence from his mind, despite his resistance. Her fiery snarl of rage, her beaming smile, her blazing power, her warmth flooding his soul as her fingers brushed against his.

_Who is she?_ It hissed, growled, shrieked as it pored over his memories, her image and voice reflected a thousand times in the shifting darkness.

_“Then we leave. Together.” She promises, her eyes alight with hope._

_The lightsaber, spinning through the air until it landed in her hand, called to her power. The blade igniting, casting blue light on her face as she wielded the weapon with skill and grace._

_“Ben,” his true name, whispered on her tongue. “Come with us.”_

The night writhed around him. _Who_ **_is_ ** _she?_

A resounding crack split the ground beneath him as the entire planet trembled. Gathering himself, Kylo stumbled outside, raising his hand to shield his sensors from the sudden... 

Light?

He snapped his head up to stare at the sky. The interface from his ship told him that the tremors and burst of brightness were because the dying star from the neighboring system had finally collapsed, exploding into a supernova.

But what he saw with his own eyes was a planet, made of darkness, bathed in light for the first time in millennia, hoops and swirls of fire creating a halo around its own barren sun, almost mimicking an eclipse. 

Kylo froze. 

A shrouded sun.

_The Shrouded Sun!_ The Shadow shrieked in joy, in pain, in hope, in dread, and the planet quaked under his feet again.

Closing his eyes, he put up a hand to his masked forehead and let out a single, emphatic curse.

_“Kark.”_


	14. Training

* * *

Kylo found himself in her quarters again, idly examining the interconnected metal bits that made up her staff when the howling winds from outside suddenly quieted. Pausing, he jerked his head up in realization as Rey’s form was suddenly in the room.

She faced away from him, clearly working on something - wiring, perhaps? - but he saw her posture stiffen, a sure sign she felt their connection as well. He waited for her to turn around, to look for him, but instead she clenched her jaw and refocused on the task in front of her.

Blinking, Kylo got to his feet, staff still loosely gripped in his hand. “Rey,” he called, part of him trying to decide what, if anything, he should say about his visit to Umbr’A and the prophecy of the Shrouded Sun.

She ignored him, continuing to focus on her project. “Rey,” he said again, somewhat louder. 

Nothing.

“I know you can hear me.”

A small huff of anger escaped her mouth as she leaned forward.

“What? You’re just going to ignore me every time this happens?” He growled, his temper starting to flare.

“Yup.” The single word was spoken crisply.

Stepping forward, his lips already drawing back in a snarl, he suddenly felt the bitter pang of hurt beneath her ire, and for the first time in a long while, his anger faded in the face of someone else’s emotion, instead of boiling over.

“Look, I…” he rolled the staff’s end back and forth in his hands. “I didn’t…” 

Studying the metal parts was far easier than watching her ignore him, so he spun the weapon a little faster and observed the lines blurring together.

“What I meant was… I shouldn’t have…”

“Would you stop fiddling with that!” Rey snapped, striding across the distance and grabbing the staff, halting its movement in his hand.

She froze, staring at her fingers curled around the dark metal, then glanced at him in shock and confusion, her face only inches away from his helmet, close enough for him to see the green-flecked eyes and freckled nose that haunted his dreams in vivid detail.

Her lips parted in surprise, but before she could say anything, he found the words falling out of his mouth. “I’m sorry.”

Rey blinked at him.

“For what I said,” he clarified belatedly, wincing beneath his mask.

Her expression gentled, and she sighed before starting, “Ben, I-”

A disembodied voice echoed through the bond, the familiar timbre sending a jolt of recognition through his chest.

“Kid?”

…

The bond closed as Rey whipped around to see Han poking his head into the  _ Millennium Falcon’s _ rear cargo hold.

“There you are. Did you check the internal wiring for the tachyon venting?”

“Uh, yes. I did. Everything looks fine.”

“Alright, good.” Han tilted his head, curious. “Where’d you get that?”

Rey glanced down to see where he was pointing, then gaped at the familiar quarterstaff in her grip.

“I… it was a gift,” she murmured finally, still in shock.

Han watched her for a moment, then shrugged. “Well, pack it up. We’re almost there.”

Unwilling to let it out of her sight, just in case it disappeared or faded away, she set it on her lap as she took the rear seat in the cockpit, her foot bouncing against the metal floor. 

Chewie turned in his chair, asking what was wrong.

“I can’t believe we’re going to meet  _ the  _ Luke Skywalker,” she explained a little bashfully.

“Eh, he’s not as exciting as it sounds,” Han commented, adjusting the controls.

“I didn’t even know he was real until a few days ago.”

“Oh, he’s real. A real pain in the ass, if you ask me.”

Biting back a smile, Rey leaned forward. “What was he like?”

“He’s gotten a little crotchety in his old age, for one.”

Roaring in amusement, Chewie reminded Han that Luke was nearly ten years younger than him.

Han pointed sharply, “Stop telling people that!”

“I meant,” Rey interrupted with a grin, “What was he like when you first met him?”

Scratching his head, Han sat back in his chair. “Honestly, I thought he was just a farm boy with no clue how the galaxy worked. Never been off his home planet, never flown anything bigger than a landspeeder or fought anything bigger than a womp rat.”

“How’d you do it?” She asked. “Him and you and Leia? You took down the entire Empire!”

Han chuckled. “We had each other. And a whole lotta luck. Luke would probably say the Force had a helping hand, but in all honesty, we did our best, screwed up a bunch, and managed to scrape together enough small victories to topple the whole thing.”

Cocking his head to the side, he raised an eyebrow at her. “You remind me of him, y’know.”

Rey gaped. “What? I’m not nearly as powerful-”

“Not the Jedi. The farm kid I met on Tatooine, who got himself chucked into a war with villains and heroes and shavit like saving the galaxy on his shoulders.”

She stared at the floor, mind reeling at the thought that a legendary warrior could have had a beginning as humble as hers.

“You’re gonna be alright, kid.”

Glancing up, she tried not to sound too desperate. “Really? How do you know?”

He gave her a kind smile. “Gotta good feeling about it.”

Chewie grumbled in agreement, then adjusted the controls as they finally came out of lightspeed above a planet covered in blue and white. It took Rey a good few minutes before she comprehended what her eyes were telling her.

“Is the whole planet…  _ water?” _ She asked in an awed tone.

Laughing gently, Chewie informed her she wasn’t on Jakku anymore.

As they landed on a small speck of an island, Rey gaped at the surrounding water and green-covered rocks, trailing behind the others down the boarding ramp.

“Chewie and I’ll go look for him over by those little hut things,” Han waved vaguely at the other end of the island. “You stay with the  _ Falcon.” _

Wrinkling her nose at the command, Rey sighed as the other two headed off, then paused as an odd sensation tugged at the edge of her mind. She turned, tracing it up the rocky mountain, beyond a series of peaks. Frowning, she slung her staff over her shoulder, then followed the path of stone steps upward, trying to discern the origin of the strange pull.

As she crested the hill, her breath caught as she saw a lone figure, dressed in brown robes, standing at the edge of the cliff. The energy around her surged, beckoning her forward. Reaching into her knapsack, she gripped the silver handle of the lightsaber and held it out to him with an odd reluctance. The man turned around, a dark brown beard streaked with gray beneath piercing blue eyes, and a bionic hand stretched out with dark metallic fingers, slowly taking the hilt from her.

With a long, searching look, Luke Skywalker, Jedi Master, galactic hero, living legend, took back his lightsaber, then chucked it behind him without a second look.

“Hey!” Rey yelped, scrambling behind him and picking up the saber from where a curious beakless bird was gnawing at it. She half-slipped as she tried to keep up with his marching pace down the mountain.

“Master Skywalker?”

She tracked him to a village of domed stone huts, just in time to see a metal door (the only door on the island, she realized) slam shut. Approaching the building carefully, she angled her voice through the cracks in the metal.

“Master Skywalker? I’m with the Resistance,” she explained. “Leia sent us.”

Movement caught her eye, and she saw Han and Chewie coming back through the village. Waving at them, she pointed at the door emphatically, then turned her hands up in an exasperated gesture.

As they approached, she tapped on the door with her staff in a final effort to get a response. “Hello?”

“Go away!”

Han rolled his eyes, then motioned to Chewie, who kicked the metal door completely off its hinges and ducked in with an angry bellow.

“Chewie, what are you doing here?” Luke demanded.

“We’re dragging you off this puddle and back to Leia,” Han answered as he entered, Rey following cautiously behind.

_ “Han,” _ Luke sighed in annoyance, suddenly sounding much more like a Tatooine farmboy than a mighty hero. “How did you even find me?”

“Long story. We’ll tell you back on the  _ Falcon,” _ Han told him, already turning around.

Luke’s blue eyes hardened. “I’m not leaving.”

“We need your help,” Rey added, drawing the focus of the room. “The First Order created a new superweapon. We destroyed it, but they’ll create another one soon. Snoke is getting stronger, and the First Order will control all the major systems within weeks. We need the Jedi Order back. We need Luke Skywalker.”

The man shook his head. “You don't need Luke Skywalker.” 

Rey blinked at how he spat his own name out in deep shame while Chewie asked in a roar if he had heard anything they just said.

“We didn’t come all the way out here for our health!” Han remarked sarcastically. “We got a ragtag group of volunteers against a force bigger than the Empire ever was. But if you come with us-”

“You think what?” Luke interrupted. “I'm gonna walk out with a laser sword and face down the whole First Order?” Glancing between Rey and Han, he chuckled bitterly, “What did you think was going to happen here? You think that I came to the most unfindable place in the galaxy for no reason at all? Go away.”

“Luke,” Han softened his tone, placing his hand on his brother-in-law’s shoulder. “Look, I get it. I understand that it’s easier to hide from things than face them-”

_ “Face them?” _ Luke repeated, baring his teeth. “All I have done for the last  _ ten years _ is face my mistakes. I came here to atone for them.”

“Becoming a hermit isn’t going to help anyone!”

“At least it’s better than always running away!”

A stillness fell over the room as Han’s entire being vibrated with fury, the small flicker in Luke’s eyes the only sign he regretted his words.

Without another word, Han turned on his heel and stalked out, Chewie following after a reproaching glare at Luke. Rey trailed uncertainly behind them until they reached the  _ Falcon  _ and the Wookiee murmured to give Han some space. 

Nodding, she stayed outside, her agitated pacing halting when water began to fall from the sky, causing her to gape in awe and stretch her hand out to catch some of the droplets. Taking a deep breath, she tried to channel some of the calmness from the rain into herself, to settle her restless soul, to anchor her mind and heart to-

Rey’s eyes jolted open and she rubbed her forehead with a sigh.

“Ben, I’d rather not do this now.”

“Yeah, me too,” came that filtered voice from behind her.

Turning, she started, “Look, this is not a great-”

She froze.

Helmeted, as always, but still pulling down the black undershirt worn beneath his tunic— _ and his surcoat, and his cloak, how did he not boil alive?— _ he revealed a stretch of pale, toned stomach that mysteriously fried every logical nerve in her brain. 

“Where are you?” He asked curiously. “You look wet.”

In stark contrast, her throat felt dry as the Jakku desert.

“I… we’re…”

Ben tilted his mask in concern once the shirt was fully on, leaving an odd sense of disappointment in Rey’s mind. “Is something wrong?”

Closing her eyes, forcing her thoughts into some kind of meager order, she finally blurted out what she should have told him back on the ship. “Luke’s alive!”

As she peeked at him, every line of his form locked into place, even his breath stopped in his lungs.

“Did you know?” She ventured in a soft voice.

“But... I thought… it collapsed...” His head twitched back and forth. “I saw… he told me… he  _ told  _ me…”

Distress, disbelief, and despair rolled off of him in waves.

“Ben,” she said gently, “what really happened that night?”

“I… Luke tried to… and then I…” his words were halting, hesitant. “It was raining. Everything was on fire… he  _ told  _ me...”

“Who told you?” Rey asked, stepping forward carefully. “The voice in your head?”

Ben halted, his helmet snapping up to stare at her.

“The Reaper told me you burned down the temple.” Her eyes were gentle, drawing out. “Did you?”

“Everything… it was all on fire. I woke up, and there was a storm. I tried…” he shook his head, his breathing uneven. “He told me it was too late. That they were all…”

“He lied to you, Ben. You didn’t kill Luke,” she took another step toward him. “If he lied to you about that, he could have lied about the temple too.”

“No, he… he wouldn’t. He knows… he knows me. Who I am. What I could be.”

She moved again, nearly close enough to touch him. “Ben.”

He shifted, as if unsure whether to flee or stay.

“Ben, I can help you. We can do this.” She kept her hands still, afraid of spooking him. “Together.”

For a moment, he leaned forward, her eyes reflected in his mask’s visor.

“No. I can’t.”

Rey opened her mouth to call his name again, to plead, to beg, to tell him-

A questioning grumble in Shyriiwook echoed down the ramp behind her, and when she looked back, she was alone. 

Chewie repeated his question as he poked his head outside.

“Yeah,” she lied with a tight smile. “I’m fine.”

…

The next day, she appointed herself to keep a dogged watch on Luke, although she wasn’t sure if it was to function as a grim reminder of what he should be doing, or to keep herself busy.

Probably both. 

Hours later, once she saw Luke’s local dairy source, she began to seriously regret her decision.

Between Luke’s inane daily activities and the suffocating dampness in the air, so alien to her desert soul, she was already on edge when a whispering call beckoned her over to a ridge overlooking the ocean. With one last glance at Luke, harpooning fish as if he had all the time in the world, she followed the pull to a huge, gnarled tree. The largest tree she had ever seen, not that she had seen many. Large enough to step inside, to breathe the cool air, to stare reverently at the ancient books - real books, with pressed pages and markings on the bindings.

But the thing that chilled and comforted her at the same time was how she knew they’d be there. She knew how the air would taste, how the wood would feel, how the tomes would sing to her, full of wisdom and knowledge. Reaching her hand out to touch them, she heard a curious voice from the entrance to the tree.

“Who are you?”

Half paying attention, she murmured, “The Resistance sent me.”

Luke narrowed his eyes. “They sent you? What’s special about you? Where are you from?”

“Nowhere.”

He tilted his head. “No one’s from nowhere,” he responded, not unkindly.

She leveled a challenging glare. “Jakku.”

“All right, that is pretty much nowhere,” he conceded. “Why are you here, Rey from nowhere?”

“We need your help. The First Order has become unstoppable-”

The man interrupted, “Why are  _ you  _ here?”

“I…” She paused, considering. “I need training. I know about the Force, about light and dark, but it’s not enough. If I want to help… others, I need to know more.”

“You need a teacher,” Luke finished, then looked away. “I can't teach you.”

Frustrated by him, by her own limitations, by everything going wrong, she snapped, “Why not? I've seen your daily routine. You're not busy.”

“I will never train another generation of Jedi,” he announced in a dark tone, his silhouette framed by the dim daylight. “I came to this island to die. It's time for the Jedi to end.”

Before she could ask why, he was gone. 

Huffing to herself, she marched outside, but there was no sign of Luke anywhere. Full of pent up anger, she stormed to a small outcropping with a tall, moss-covered boulder, grabbed her staff from off her shoulder and ran through her strikes and parries until sweat beaded her brow and her breath ached in her lungs.

Once her muscles started to protest in earnest, Rey rested her head against the cool metal and took deep gulps of air. The sun glinted off the silver hilt of Luke’s rejected weapon in her bag, and with only a brief hesitation, she gave into temptation and exchanged her staff for a saber.

Her worries melted away as the blue blade hummed to life, and a joyous grin blossomed on her face as she spun it around her palm and took a few experimental swings. It felt a little off in her hand, although she couldn’t quite figure out-

“You’re holding it wrong.”

Yelping in surprise, she nearly dropped the lightsaber before glaring at the dark form next to her.

“Don’t do that.”

“Is…” he fidgeted a little. “Is  _ he  _ training you?”

Sharply reminded of why she was out here in the first place, Rey clenched her jaw. “No,” she said a bit too forcefully.  _ “He _ doesn’t want to train me.”

“Poodoo,” Ben muttered spitefully as Rey bit back a smile. 

“That’s not nice.”

“Neither is he.”

“And how would you know I’m holding it wrong?” She quipped, raising her eyebrow.

He crossed his arms. “Your grip is too low. It’s throwing the weight off.”

“My grip is fine. And it’s made of light. It doesn’t weigh anything.”

“The blade is made of light, which means you have to hold the hilt precisely,” he told her, a hint of condescension in his tone.

When she shot him a dark look, he sighed and pulled out his own saber. “Here. The bulk of the handgrip rests easily in your palm. Firm, yet relaxed.”

“Your palm is like three times the size of mine,” she grumbled, but followed suit anyway, mimicking his hand’s position.

“All fancy forms aside, there are three basic elements of lightsaber combat: attack, defend, feint.”

Nodding, Rey repeated the words to herself. “Attack, defend, feint.”

“Be aware of your stance. Weight on your back foot. Slide your feet in circles, just skimming above the ground.”

“Don’t you trip in your giant melodramatic cloak?” She teased.

He let out a long-suffering sigh. “Traditionally, long robes are worn to conceal footwork. And it’s not melodramatic.”

Eyes dancing, she stuck the tip of her tongue between her teeth. “Sure. It’s definitely not for theatrical effect.”

She could feel his glower through his mask, and a smile crept over her face at the familiarity of it.

“Do you want to learn or not?” 

Twirling the saber in her hand as she ignited it, she widened her stance and gave him a grin. “Whenever you’re ready, Master Ben.”

Shaking his head in amusement, he activated his own blade. “I’ll strike, you parry. Three strikes. One,” he swung up at her right shoulder slowly, nodding as she angled the blade to block him, the lightsabers humming as they came in contact. 

“Two.” Turning on his back foot, he aimed for her left knee, and the blue saber flashed to meet him a touch faster than before.

“Three.” He bent his arms behind him, then brought his weapon down in an overhead strike, watching her fumble as she tried to adjust her hold from one to two hands.

Ben tapped her blade gently with his own, then stepped back and showed her his own hilt. “Hands two fingers width apart. Left hand is for power, your right hand guides the blade’s direction. Your smallest finger grips the tightest, relaxing as you go up. The webbing of your thumb shouldn’t even touch the handle.”

She sighed and wrinkled her nose. “So many things to remember!”

“Master technique first, then speed and strength will follow,” he told her calmly, then shuddered. “Ugh. I can’t believe I’m quoting him now. Guess he had to be good for something at some point.”

Rey smiled, then bit her lip. “Ben, do you think he could help with-”

“No. I don’t.” He answered in a severe tone.

She paused, afraid he was going to leave or refuse to teach her anything else, but after a moment he simply sighed. “Next lesson. Focus on the Force around you. This is why meditation is key. Your emotions feed the blade, and if your heart is unsettled, so will your saber be. This time you strike. Ready?”

Nodding, Rey readied herself, then curved her blade at Ben’s side before a low voice inquired, “What are you doing?”

Startled and distracted, she turned to look at Luke mid-swing, and her saber sliced clean through the giant boulder in front of her, sending the rock bouncing down the hill as it crashed into one of the caretaker’s carts, causing both of them to glare at her from below.

Sighing in equal parts relief and disappointment that Ben had disappeared, she met Luke’s sharp gaze with a lift of her chin. “Training.”

His eyes narrowed. “By yourself?”

“Have you changed your mind?” Rey asked mildly. 

Luke gave her a long, pensive stare before he huffed a little and marched away.

Deciding that was enough exercise for the day, Rey twirled the hilt in her hand one more time before powering it off. Next time, she’d have to remember to ask how Ben deflected blaster bolts, and if that was easier with one hand or two.

As she headed back to the  _ Falcon _ , she couldn’t help a small grin. 

Next time.

She liked the sound of that.


	15. Knowledge

After a long night of failed mediation and fitful sleep in her stone hut, Rey came to several conclusions. 

First, someone was lying to Ben. Someone with dark power and long reach, using the dark side of the Force to creep into his thoughts and manipulate him.

She had to help him. Had to find some way to stop the voice, to keep him out of Ben’s mind.

But she needed help. Knowledge. Training. A teacher.

Lastly, although this was more an observation than anything else, she concluded that Luke was a shabbing piece of poodoo.

The metal door to Luke’s hut screeched open, and Rey looked up from her vigil on the stone bench to see the older man frown in irritation before skirting around her.

“Master Skywalker,” she called, lengthening her stride to keep up with him. “We need-”

“No, you don’t,” he interrupted, still walking. 

“We need the Jedi!” Rey shouted back. “Now more than ever.”

“Not ‘we’ - ‘you’. You want a teacher for yourself.”

“I need to learn how to use the Force. How to fight the dark side before it defeats the light-” 

Luke whirled around to point at her, and Rey barely halted in time to avoid his mechanical hand. “That Force does not belong to the Jedi. To say that if the Jedi die, the light dies is _vanity_. Do you understand that?”

Rey stared at him for a long moment, trying to understand. “Why do you think the Jedi need to die?” She asked quietly, and Luke paused for just a moment before hiding behind a mask of indifference and striding away.

She followed him into a large cavern, a shallow pool filled with patterned pebbles at its center. Turning away and speaking in a voice tinged with shame and anger, he said, “Now that they're extinct, the Jedi are romanticized, deified. But if you strip away the myth and look at their deeds, the legacy of the Jedi is failure. Hypocrisy, hubris.”

Blinking, Rey shook her head. “That's not true.”

“At the height of their powers, they allowed Darth Sidious to rise, create the Empire, and wipe them out. It was a Jedi Master who was responsible for the training and creation of Darth Vader.”

“And a Jedi who _saved_ him,” she argued fiercely. “He was the most hated man in the galaxy, but you saw that there was conflict inside him. You believed that he wasn't gone. That he could still choose the light. You believed in him.” 

Tears gathering in her eyes, she clenched her fists and called out, “Because you _loved_ him.”

Luke stopped, then turned and narrowed his blue eyes at her as if she had let something slip. Swallowing, Rey nevertheless straightened her shoulders and met his suspicious gaze with her own steady one.

He let out a huff of breath then stared into the pool of colored stones. “I cannot give you what you seek. You should leave.”

Barely restraining a growl, Rey stormed away, her knuckles white where she gripped her staff. 

_Definitely_ a shabbing piece of poodoo.

…

Baring her teeth, she swung the saber over her head to crack against Ben’s, prompting him to tilt his helmet at her.

“Talk with Luke recently?” He guessed in a tone halfway between smug and concerned.

“Not about anything _useful,”_ she spat out, spinning around to aim at his left, the red lightsaber sailing downward in an arc as he parried.

Letting out a ghost of a chuckle, he responded, “Sounds about right,” then shifted his stance for his series of attacks, Rey repositioning her feet and rolling her neck in preparation.

Ben aimed high to the right, then low to the left, grunting as Rey blocked each with considerable force, then tried circling the blade above his head to come at her left shoulder, only to be met by her blue saber again.

“Good. Now, this time-”

Before he could finish his thought, she flipped the saber mid-air to a reverse grip, the blade extending past her pinkie as she slashed at his chest, thwarted by a hurried parry from Ben, before sliding past him to try and strike at his back. Ben spun out of the way and hooked her front ankle, dumping her on the ground with an affronted “Ooof”.

“That’s one of my moves,” he remarked drily.

“Then why didn’t it work?” She quipped back, accepting his proffered hand up.

He waited as she dusted herself off, then observed quietly, “You’re unfocused.”

“How am I supposed to learn focus?” Rey snapped. “What with Luke refusing to teach me anything and you showing up whenever you please.”

His mask drew back slightly, and he sounded almost hurt when he spoke, “I can’t control this any more than you can.”

Wincing, Rey sighed and rubbed her forehead. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean… I’ve been unsettled lately. Unfocused,” she conceded.

“You need to meditate. Connect with the Force.”

“I’ve tried! I’ve tried to meditate, I’ve tried to clear my head, I’ve tried to think of nothing but-”

“Don’t try.” Ben interrupted, “Don’t think. Just… feel.”

She shot him a dark look. “You realize how unhelpful that sounds, right?”

A tendril of warmth reached through the bond, and she could almost picture the corner of his mouth quirking up.

“Yes. I do.”

…

That night, as dark clouds portending even more water falling from the sky rolled in, Rey crossed her legs and tried to clear her mind.

She pushed away her irritation with Luke, her worry about the slithering voice, her thoughts about Ben…

Where he was. What he was doing all alone on his ship. If he…

_“Don’t think. Just feel,”_ his voice drifted through her memory.

Letting out a deep breath, she stopped trying to shove her thoughts away and focused on the sensations around her. The cold ground beneath her legs, the mist drifting across her skin, the distant roaring of the surf. The island, stone roots extending far below the water.

The same island of her dreams, made of rocks and moss, whose wind and crashing waves lulled her to sleep for years; a distant, intangible refuge suddenly made real.

Bright spots of warmth, huddling together in their nests. Rich earth fed by generations of life and death. Blinding light shining out from the ancient tree, brimming with the Force. 

She turned her head, eyes still closed, toward Luke’s hut, expecting some sort of answering presence. But there was nothing. Not a lack of power, or even hidden power, but almost... an absence. Empty space in the midst of connected energy.

_He’s cut himself off from the Force,_ she realized, remembering his defeated posture, the self-loathing in his voice. _Of course he has._

A deep tremor echoed through her focus, calling her to a deep, dark pool hidden beneath the island. It hummed through her entire being, beckoning, murmuring, enticing.

Pulling her in.

Pulling her down.

After climbing out of the water onto the dark stone, time seemed to move both instantly and not at all. She stared ahead, a thousand reflections of herself stretching into the dark, standing still, yet somehow moving, leading her… somewhere. Susurrant whispers, offering answers to her questions, solutions to her worries, drawing her forward. Into the Shadow.

Finally, she came to a mirrored wall, her own face distorted and blurred, her cream clothing dimmed to grey, hair loose around her shoulders, a vision of what could have been, what might be. Her hand reached forward, the frigid surface stealing the warmth from her fingers, eerie breaths echoing in the black.

“Let me see them,” she pleaded with the power of every dream she’d ever had, of every murmured prayer of every night of her remembered life. “My parents. Please.”

The reflected light in the wall faded, and two dark figures cast their shadows against the glass. She held her breath in hope, in fear, in anticipation, in apprehension, as they came closer. Waiting, she furrowed her brows as the forms merged, as their edges sharpened to indicate broad shoulders and dark hair. Her breath caught in her lungs, and she instinctively brought up her other hand toward the shadow’s face.

“Ben?”

Her heart thudded loudly in her chest as the shape stepped forward, as the frost receded, as the single figure finally came clear.

Herself.

…

Kylo was in the middle of rechecking his navigational computer when he was suddenly… tugged.

He didn’t understand much about the Force’s connection between them, but previously Rey had always just appeared, bringing her scent and light into where he was, wanted or not. But this… this was as if she had asked him to come.

As if she had spoken him into being.

When Rey appeared between blinks, soft firelight flickering across her face, chestnut hair dark with water, framing somber and haunted eyes, his confusion gave way to mounting concern.

“Ben,” she gave him a teary smile, shoulders sagging a little in relief, and he had to stop himself from reaching for his saber and demanding to know who or what had done this to her relentless optimism.

Modulating his voice carefully, he asked, “What’s wrong?”

He listened as she told him about the cave, about her vision, about the aching, pervasive loneliness that came with her reflection - the realization that she had nothing of her parents. No name, no tokens, no faces to remember.

Tears tracked down her cheeks even as the seawater dried her skin. “I truly am no one.”

“Not to me.”

The words slipped out before he could stop them, before he could take them back, before he could cover them with biting sarcasm or dismiss them with feigned indifference. 

Her eyes, still wet with tears, full of vulnerable, uncertain hope, lifted to meet his own.

“Ben,” she breathed, and he never knew his name on her lips could sound so heartbreakingly beautiful.

Moving cautiously, as if not to frighten him, Rey shifted closer, their knees nearly touching, the blanket draped around her slipping down one shoulder at the motion. The strong urge to pull it back up over her arm, to brush her wet hair away from her face, was interrupted as she ever so slowly raised both her hands toward him, reaching out until her fingertips brushed the edges of his helmet.

A sudden, sharp intake of breath hissed through his vocoder at the contact, a rush of adrenaline spiking through his veins as two warring emotions crashed through his mind.

_Fear._

Of betraying his oath, his master, of how much less he cared for them now, how much more he wanted something else.

_Desire._

The memory of her skin searing against his fingertips, how his hand still ached from it, for it, for more.

_Fear._

That if she truly saw him, if she truly knew him, he’d lose her. He’d lose himself, and everything he had worked so hard to become.

_Desire._

To speak to her in his own voice. To taste fresh air, her air. Her. 

Her breath misted the black metal as her questioning fingers cautiously lifted his mask a fraction of an inch, his heart thudding in his chest.

_“Weakness,” Snoke’s words echoed in his mind, the grasping darkness of the Shadow chorusing in agreement. “Sentiment. Folly. See through their lies, their deceit, their manipulations. They don’t care for you. They never have. If they saw you for what you truly are, what you could truly be, they’d fear you. Condemn you. Reject you.”_

_The frightened, hushed tones of his parents’ whispers._

_The alarm on Chewie’s face when he slammed toys into the wall with a wave of his small hand._

_The relief relaxing Leia’s shoulders as they left him at the temple._

_The anger and hate reflected in Luke’s eyes along with his green saber, raised above his bed._

Swallowing, Kylo’s gloved hands softly gripped her wrists, halting her movement.

Ashamed of how thick his throat felt, he shook his head and choked out her name, hoping she’d understand, despite the fresh tears cascading down her face

“Rey…”

**_“NO!”_ **

They both whirled around to see Luke, so much older than Kylo remembered, eyes wild with fear, hand outstretched to stop them.

He turned back to Rey, his hold on her hands tightening instinctively before closing around thin air.

…

As pieces of the stone hut fell to the ground behind her, Rey whipped around to glare at Luke, her now bereft hands curling into angry fists.

“Leave this island now!” He snarled, then walked away into the storm.

“Stop!” Rey shouted, slinging her staff over her shoulder and scrambling after him, already drenched in rain.

They were nearly to the _Millenium Falcon_ by the time she caught up with him. “I said stop!”

She reached out in the Force and tried to slow his movements, but he simply cast her a disparaging look and continued walking, his stride hardly affected.

“Stop!” Rey nearly screamed in frustration, and a deep growl in Shyriiwook cut through the sound of falling rain.

“What in the Nine Corellian Hells is going on out here?” Han called out, shielding his face from the downpour.

Luke suddenly halted, then grabbed Rey’s arm as she got closer and marched her up into the _Falcon_ , ignoring her protests.

“Let me go!”

Han and Chewie followed with confused glances. “Luke, what the-”

“All of you get off this island now!” He hissed, shoving Rey further into the ship before turning around and storming down the _Falcon’s_ ramp.

“Is it true?” Rey yelled after him. “Did you try to murder him?”

Everyone froze as her question was underscored by a crack of thunder.

“Did you do it?” She asked again as Luke slowly looked over his shoulder, dark brows hooding his face. “Did you create Kylo Ren?”

Han’s posture shifted slightly, his shoulders stiffening as he stared at Luke, who then watched Chewie’s eyes narrow.

“Tell me the truth,” Rey demanded.

Letting out a long, pained breath, Luke stepped into the ship’s main room and rubbed his face in exhaustion.

When he spoke, it was with the weariness of one who had carried a burden of shame for over a decade. “I sensed darkness building in him. I'd seen it in moments during his training. But one night, I looked inside his mind and it was beyond what I ever imagined.” 

As Han leaned forward, intent on every word, Rey noticed his fists shaking even as he clenched them.

“Snoke had already turned his heart,” Luke continued in a tone of defeat. “He would bring destruction, pain, death... and the end of everything I loved. All because of what he would become. And for the briefest moment…” 

Those blue eyes flicked to the saber in her hand, then at the floor in overwhelming guilt.

“I thought I could stop it. It passed like a fleeting shadow. And I was left with shame... and consequences. The last thing I saw were the eyes of a frightened boy whose master had failed him.”

Forcing himself to breathe, Han raised a single accusatory finger. “You told us it was too late. That Snoke had already corrupted him. That he tried to kill you.”

“He did try to kill me, Han!” Luke argued back, then gestured emphatically. “He nearly killed you!”

Rey sucked in a breath as silence fell over the corridor, Chewie growling in the back of his throat while Han went very still. 

  
_“Even if he had,”_ he spoke forcefully, eyes overbright even as his chin lifted resolutely. “He would still be my son.”


	16. Connections

Han’s words echoed loudly, and a crashing wave of grief and regret fell upon the ship. In the silence that followed, Luke’s shoulders slumped in defeat.

“I failed,” he whispered, shameful. “I failed as a Jedi and as his Master. I know that. It’s why I came here, to exile, to-”

“To hide?” Han added sharply, fists still twitching as if he hadn’t decided whether to punch Luke or not.

“To  _ die,” _ Luke snapped, causing Han to stiffen as Chewie moaned softly.

“Dying ain’t gonna solve shavit,” Han replied at last. “You want to do some good, you get off your wallowing ass, you come help-”

Luke crossed his arms “I’m not leaving,” he declared with an air of finality. “This is my absolution. And there’s nothing you,” he pointed to Han, then to Chewie, who bared his teeth, “or you,” and then to Rey with narrowed eyes, “or you, can say to change my mind. There’s nothing anyone could say that-”

_ “Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi,” _ a tinny voice interrupted, drawing all of their attention to a small blue projection hovering on the Falcon’s floor.  _ “You’re my only hope.” _

Rey realized with a start that the wavering figure was a much younger Leia, wearing a white hooded dress with emphatic gestures and the same regal tone.  _ “General Kenobi,”  _ the hologram stated, _ “Years ago, you served my father in the Clone Wars. Now he begs you to help him in his struggle against the Empire.” _

Han was watching the message with a fond, rueful smile, his arms crossed gently in a subconscious affectionate gesture as Chewbacca hummed in warm memory.

_ “I regret that I am unable to present my father's request to you in person, but my ship has fallen under attack and I'm afraid my mission to bring you to Alderaan has failed. I have placed information vital to the survival of the Rebellion into the memory systems of this R2 unit. My father will know how to retrieve it. You must see this droid safely delivered to him on Alderaan.”  _

Rey turned to see Luke staring at the hologram with wells of deep emotion shining in his eyes, too nuanced and fleeting for her to distinguish anything but wistful sorrow.

_ “This is our most desperate hour. Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope.” _

The image blinked out of existence a few moments later, breaking the spell the flickering light had cast on the ship’s inhabitants. Swallowing, Luke shot the dingy astromech droid a dark look.

“That was a cheap shot.”

R2-D2 rolled out of the shadows and unleashed a detailed tirade of expletives to describe what he thought of the entire proceedings.

Luke glared at Artoo more in irritation than offense. “Hey,  _ sacred  _ island! Watch the language!”

Undeterred, the droid continued his vibrant diatribe, explaining that he had not survived for over half a century to watch Luke provide hope to the entire galaxy only to lose it himself and deny it to his own nephew.

As she watched his shoulders slump, Rey stepped forward cautiously. “You failed him by thinking his choice was made.” The rest of the ship’s inhabitants all slowly turned toward her while she lifted her chin and declared in an unwavering, resolute voice. “It isn’t.”

Letting out a long sigh, Luke’s blue eyes flicked from her, back to Artoo, before he spun on his heel and headed out into the storm.

When Chewie roared to ask where he was going, the Jedi shook his head ruefully, then answered, “To get my things.”

He marched down the ramp into the rain as Rey’s mouth dropped open, and she met Han’s pensive gaze with a cautiously hopeful look.

…

Awkward silence filled the cabin as Luke sat with his eyes closed, ignoring Chewbacca’s sharp glare and Rey’s unease.

Han marched in a short time later, a dark expression on his face, heedless of the tension in the cabin. “Can’t reach Leia or the Resistance,” he announced dourly. “I don’t like it. Even with evacuation policies, they should still be able to receive transmissions.” Fiddling with the blinking binary tracker on his wrist, he frowned, then sighed. “We’re heading toward the beacon’s location, some skughole system called Crait, but we won’t be there for a long kriffing while.”

Crossing his arms, he leaned back against the curved wall next to Chewie and leveled a stare in Luke’s direction.

“I think it’s time you told me what really went on that night.”

Luke sighed and finally opened his eyes.

“Everything else happened just as I told you. After…” his face twisted, then he continued, “When I came to, the temple was burning, and Ben had vanished with a handful of my students. And slaughtered the rest.”

“No.”

All eyes turned Rey’s direction as she shook her head emphatically. “No, he didn’t kill them. The temple was already on fire, and there was…”

She slowed, realizing the crystal clear picture of the scene in her mind, the scent of burning wood, the blaze of red against the black sky, the waves of guilt not from her own memory.

“...there was a storm,” she repeated softly. “A dark storm.”

Blue eyes sharp, brows furrowed, Luke leaned forward intently. “How do you know that?”

“I… he showed me.”

While Luke frowned in thought, Han stepped toward her, eyes alight. “What else?”

Her gaze grew distant as she went back to that moment in the Starkiller prison cell, Ben sitting across from her, offering his memories, his pain, his truth to her.

_ “I never meant… I didn’t want this! Any of this!” He screams at the sky, smoke burning in his lungs as tears sting his eyes.  _

_ A shadow slithers into his mind.  _ “This _ is all there ever was. All you could hope for. All you ever could be.” _

“A voice.” Rey whispered. “An awful voice. One that’s been with him all his life.”

Luke and Han exchanged worried glances.

“Snoke,” Luke confirmed quietly, lips pressed together in a thin line.

Rey looked up at the Jedi with fiery determination. “That’s why I need training. I need to get Snoke out of his head. I need you to teach me how.”

Frowning, Luke met her stare with a long look of his own, then sighed heavily. “Fine.” 

Her mouth dropped open and she glanced at Chewie and Han in excitement. The Wookie rumbled in encouragement and Han gave her a small nod.

After rummaging through some of the cargo spaces despite Chewie’s objections, Luke came back holding a small round droid and set a large helmet on her head. “Let’s see what you know.”

“Wasn’t that shtick already ancient when the old man did it?” Han commented as Luke slammed the blast shield down, cutting off all of Rey’s eyesight.

“Hey!”

Ignoring her cry, Luke replied, “If it was good enough for Obi Wan-”

“I can’t see!”

“Good. Your eyes can deceive you. Don't trust them.” There was a small hum as the sphere activated.

“Oh sure, don’t trust my eyes but do trust the guy who won’t let me s-  _ Ow!” _ She yelped as the droid fired a small blast into her leg. Switching her lightsaber on, she swung toward the sound, growling as she met only air and the droid fired a second shot into her other leg.

“Blasters, kid. Never leave home without ‘em,” Han called out in a smug tone, which caused Chewie to chuckle for some reason.

“Reach out with your feelings, not your senses.” Luke told her as she arced her saber wildly. “Allow the Force to flow through you.”

Forcing herself to stop reacting instinctively, Rey closed her eyes against the darkness of the helmet, dismissed the vague buzz of the floating sphere, and tried to relax, her mind instinctually reaching for Ben’s voice.

_ “Tension. Balance,” his vocoder fizzled underneath his warm baritone. “Energy binding the galaxy together.” _

Concentrating, she could almost feel the vibrations of a thousand strings stretching out from her hands, linking her to Chewie, steadfast and true, to Han, gruff and caring, to Luke, his absence in the Force an act of powerful isolation, to Artoo’s satisfied whirring of a program being executed properly, and… there. Floating to the back of her left shoulder, the training droid geared up for another blast, aimed directly at her hip.

Whipping the saber behind her, parallel to her spine, she blocked the laser bolt and sent it flying into the air. The threads shifted and hummed as the sphere dove in front of her, firing two consecutive shots at her torso. Parrying each of them, a slow grin formed on her face as her feet slid into the correct stance, muscle memory from her practices with Ben taking over. 

The blasts sped up each time she deflected them, and soon she was a blur of motion, reaching only for the next natural step of combat gleaned from Ben’s knowledge and her own training. Low right, high left, middle parry, every move flowing through her until she flipped the lightsaber in the air, and swung in a backhanded arc to meet with silence.

When she felt nothing more from the droid, she raised the blast shield back up to see everyone staring at her, Chewie in shock, Han in amusement, and Luke in a dark glower.

“I assume  _ he  _ taught you that?” The Jedi growled.

Surprising herself a little, Rey lifted her chin in a hint of rebellion and responded simply, “You were busy.”

Luke’s blue eyes narrowed, and he opened his mouth with some angry point on the tip of his tongue, then swirled around and stormed out.

Just as she was berating herself for antagonizing her only teacher, a short bark of laughter echoed with the cabin.

“Knew I liked you for a reason, kid,” Han told her with a wink, then waved her into the cockpit. “C’mon. Let’s let His Forcefulness cool off a bit.”

…

“... and then she chucked us into the garbage chute!”

Rey gaped with a wide smile. “No!”

Han nodded as Chewie added he had tried to warn the group about the monster down below, but as always, no one listened.

“Look, our options were running a little slim at that point, and I figured between stormtroopers and shavit, I’ll take my chances in shavit.”

Laughing for the first time in ages, Rey’s grin softed as she saw a wry tilt to Han’s head that suddenly seemed heartachingly familiar.

“You sound like him, you know,” she remarked quietly. “Or, rather, I suppose he sounds like you.”

The older man turned to her with an oddly sincere look. “Yeah?”

She nodded with a wistful smile. “Yeah.”

“A sarcastic little druk, huh?”

Rey giggled, then ducked her head down. “Pretty much.”

“How often do you two…” Han waved his hand vaguely, “talk?”

“I…” She hugged her knees in her chair. “It just… happens. I don’t know if I pull him, or he pulls me, but neither of us can really control it.”

Han frowned in thought. “Is it a Force thing?”

“I think so, but honestly I have no idea.”

His gaze shifted to a point beyond her. “What do you think, Luke? This some kind of mystical comms system?”

Rey jumped as she glanced behind her and saw the cloaked Jedi crossing his arms and leaning against the entryway. For a moment she thought he wasn’t going to answer, but he soon sighed and said, “An astral projection was my first thought, but the sheer amount of effort would kill one or both of you. But you…”

His face twisted before continuing, “When I saw you in the hut you were... touching him.”

Chewbacca and Han’s heads both swiveled to stare at her before exchanging surprised and slightly impressed looks.

Despite the red creeping into her cheeks, Rey kept eye contact with him. “Yes.”

“And you’ve trained with each other.”

Though it didn’t sound like a question, Rey still nodded.

Luke rubbed the back of his neck. “Between the physical aspect and the… summoning, for lack of a better term, I think there is one explanation. It’s thought to be a myth, but the ancient texts reference something called a ‘dyad’. It’s… a kind of connection.”

“What kind of connection?” Han asked, leaning forward.

“It’s a Force-bond that reaches across space and time,” he nearly snapped, then turned to Rey. “Two halves of a whole.”

She blinked, then tried not to squirm under the sudden attention. “What does that mean?”

“It means he can find you, wherever you are,” Luke told her ominously. “It means he can hunt down anyone who’s with you, no matter how well you hide, and turn all of you in to Snoke.”

Scrambling to her feet, Rey argued. “He wouldn’t do that!”

His eyes flashed. “Are you certain?”

Rey forced herself to unclench her fists before speaking. “Yes!”

The tense silence was broken by a rumbled chuckle, and when she glanced over, both Han and Chewie quickly hid their smug grins from Luke’s glare.

Letting out a long breath, Luke placed his hands in his sleeves. “You are right about one thing. You need to learn about mental defenses. Come with me.”

Once she was sitting cross-legged on the floor, hands resting on her knees, the older man began pacing behind her.

“The ability to create a thought shield is one of the most crucial skills a Jedi can learn. Without it, an enemy can read and evade your movements in battle, or detect and possibly influence your thoughts. You must learn how to shut out any attempts to pry into your mind.”

“What if I don’t want to shut people out?” Rey asked pointedly, looking up at him with a raised eyebrow.

He scowled at her for a moment. “And if Snoke uses Ben to get into your mind? Or uses your connection to destroy him entirely?”

Her eyes widened at the thought, and Luke pinched the bridge of his nose before softening his tone. “Better to have the ability and choose not to use it than go into battle unarmed.”

Subdued, she nodded and resettled herself on the floor.

“The concept is simple. You need only two things: a strong will and unbreakable concentration. Now, clear your mind and center yourself.”

A few hours later, after Luke had once again shoved through her defenses and sent her sprawling onto the metal flooring, she nearly snarled, “You said this was supposed to be easy!”

“I said  _ simple _ ,” Luke informed her, in an infuriatingly calm voice. “Not easy. Again.”

Before she could snap something uncomplimentary, Han stepped into the cabin with a grim expression. “Finally got a hold of Leia. And trust me, it’s not good.”

…

White trails of salt flew out behind the  _ Falcon  _ in the strong headwind, leaving red scars on the planet below as they approached the massive door to the bunker, open just enough to allow them entry.

As they flew in, Rey frowned at the small number of ships littering the cavern. 

“Where’s the rest?” She whispered as she stared out of the viewscreen.

Han’s face when dark. “This is it. Leia told me some of what happened, but the First Order tracked their ships through lightspeed, then started picking them off. They disabled the tracking somehow, but by then had nearly run out of fuel, so while the bombers attacked and created a distraction, Leia told everyone to hightail it for the escape pods and sneak down planetside.”

The  _ Millennium Falcon _ landed in the bunker, the ramp lowering with a pneumatic hiss. Rey double checked the ship’s systems, then came into the cabin and watched Luke slowly disembark, his eyes roaming around the cavern with a distant look. 

“Luke?”

His head snapped forward to see Leia staring at him in hesitant disbelief. She stepped towards him, her movements slow and shuffling, and reached up her hand to his cheek, brows puckered with overwhelming emotion.

Luke closed his eyes and began to lean into her hand as-

_ SMACK. _

Leia slapped him full across his face.

“My  _ son _ , Luke?” She grit out with blazing eyes.

“Leia, I-”

“My  **_son_ ** ,” she hissed. “How dare you.”

“I didn’t-”

“I trusted you.  _ He  _ trusted you. And now-”

The older woman turned away, clenching her fists as brightness coated her eyes, unable to look at him.

“Leia,” her brother called softly, then Rey’s mouth dropped as she sensed his return to the Force, conveying the overwhelming depths of his shame, his sorrow, his regret. The sheer power of his presence in the Force even sent Han back a step.

“I know,” Luke told her quietly, his own eyes wet. “I know.”

At the whispered confession, Leia glanced back, letting out a long sigh before cupping Luke’s face in her hands and leaning her forehead against his own. When their eyes met, Rey could feel some of Luke’s burden dissipate before Leia slapped him again.

_ “Ow!” _

“And don’t you forget it!” She told him with an authoritative point of her finger as she whirled around and marched out.

As Luke rubbed his jaw ruefully, Rey heard a chuckle from beside her and saw Han with a wide grin. 

“It’s funny when it’s not happening to me,” he replied to her puzzled look, then waved her forward to join the makeshift command center. “C’mon kid. Let’s go join the chaos.”


	17. Hope

* * *

“I will not mince words,” Leia started, gaining the immediate attention of the already quiet room. “We are what’s left of the main Resistance, and we’re less than a thousand strong. We’re low on supplies and fighters. We’re without fuel, without a fleet. But we are _not_ without hope.”

She gave the assembled rebels a wan smile. “We’re well fortified, well hidden, and most importantly, we are not alone. We’ve got calls going out to any allies we have in the Outer Rim, using Resistance codes as well as my personal one. For now, we regroup, assess our circumstances and provisions, and rest up for whatever is yet to come.” With a regal nod, she blessed them all with, “May the Force be with us.”

The crowd broke off into whispering groups while Rey trailed uncertainly behind Han as he and Luke joined Leia.

“Any word?” Leia asked a young lieutenant— Kaydel, Rey recognized after a moment— in a hushed tone.

Kaydel shook her head. “Nothing yet.”

Leia’s mouth tightened briefly before a calm expression settled over her face. “Well, keep trying.”

Drawing her to the side, Han asked in an attempted light tone, “So, that’s what we’re telling the troops. What’s the real story?”

She shot her husband a scathing look before biting her lip. “We’ve been sending out a distress beacon since yesterday.”

“And no one’s answered.” Luke finished quietly, brows drawing together.

Han glanced around at the collection of escape pods, scattered X-Wings, and the _Millenium Falcon_ sitting in the hangar, then over to the single gargantuan door.

“Only one exit,” he murmured to himself. “And a long time to get it open.”

“Not just that,” Leia added with a sigh. “The First Order was only tracking the big ships, and while they might not have noticed us sneaking down to the planet, they’re going to start looking for us soon.”

Luke took in his surroundings with somber eyes. “What are our options?”

“Wait. Plan.” She turned as a woman with purple hair gestured to her with a businesslike wave. “And hope. That’s all we can do.”

As she started to head over, Han touched Leia’s arm. “I can get us out of here, if it comes to it,” he told her softly.

“I’m not abandoning them, Han.”

He gave her a wry half-smile before kissing her gently on the forehead. “Of course not, Princess.”

They shared a look born of decades-long love as she patted his cheek. “Don’t go anywhere.” 

Pointing fiercely to Luke, she commanded, “That goes for you too!”

Her brother shot her a smirk, soon exchanged for a worried look at Han the moment Leia was out of sight.

“I’m going to help Chewie check the _Falcon,”_ Han announced before walking determinedly toward the ship.

Rey hovered near Luke as he peered out one of the small slits in the giant hangar door. “What can I do?” 

He met her anxious look with an assessing stare. “Meditate.”

“What, _now?_ There has to be something more valuable that I can-”

“Trust me,” he interrupted her protest, his blue eyes piercing but not unkind. “There’s nothing else more valuable. Go.”

Luke turned and walked away before she could answer with any of the choice words on her tongue. Sighing, Rey reluctantly wandered around the base, trying to find an out of the way spot. Even though she was doing so at the behest of the last Jedi in the galaxy, she still didn’t feel right about sitting down while the remainder of the Resistance rushed around trying to ensure their survival.

Finally, she came across a small storage area tucked toward the back of the bunker that seemed to have as much quiet as she was going to get in the current circumstance. Still feeling like an errant child being sent away, she huffily crossed her legs and tried to settle her mind.

It took a long while, her own anxiety and the mounting tension of the base in general fighting against any sense of peace she tried to achieve. But her training with Luke on the ship and the warm memory of Ben’s voice instructing her to breathe eventually helped Rey center herself in the humming fabric of the Force.

The first thing she sensed was just how many people there were around her, a sharp contrast from her previous mediations on the island or the _Falcon_. Indistinct radiant forms swirled around the base, many colored blue with worry, or yellow with hope, Leia and Luke nearly blinding her with their white blazes of power and strength. A bright thread linked the siblings as they spoke, and Rey noticed another string connecting Leia’s essence to something beyond her periphery. Curious, she followed it until it led to another dot of light, this one tinged with gruff affection and ever-present sorrow.

_Han,_ she realized, her brows lifting in comprehension.

Suddenly, she could see multitudes of lines stretching between the globes of light, so many of them extending into far corners of the galaxy.

A sharp pang ran through her heart for the people in the bunker and their loved ones, the connections so distant yet still vibrant. Rey suddenly wondered what she would see if she glanced down at herself - would there be thin, tenuous strings reaching out to Finn, to Han, to Leia, to Luke, to…

No. Best not to look, to spare herself the pain of facing what she already knew.

She was alone.

Shaking her head to clear it, Rey shifted her focus to the cavern itself. Formed by a combination of nature and sentient construction, she absorbed the breadth and height of the mine and wandered down a few of the myriad winding tunnels snaking out into the rock. After a moment, Rey let herself sink down past the stone floor to the hollow crevasses below, gaping in awe of the vibrant red crystals jutting out in the geode-like sublayer below.

She was about to reach out and see if she could touch the ruby structures, at once deadly and fragile and beautiful, when a quake rocked through the planet, sending cracks and shards flying around her. Flitting through the salt-covered surface, Rey followed the radiating tremors about a mile away from the bunker before freezing in terror.

Huge metal AT-ATs housing hundreds of life-forms marched steadily toward the Resistance base, flanking a dark contraption being dragged across the ground, cutting blood-red swathes into the ground behind them.

Her eyes snapped open and she nearly fell over while scrambling to her feet. Rushing out of the small room in a hurry to tell Han or Leia or Luke or _anyone_ , Rey suddenly slammed into a solid expanse.

“Whoa, I’m so sorry, are you…” A familiar voice started, then let out a shocked, “Rey!”

Rey looked up to see a surprised grin making its way across Finn’s face.

“Finn!” She yelled, happiness that he was alright and here and safe flooding through her as they crushed each other into a hug. “You’re alive!”

He nodded as he released her. “So are you! I was so worried, and Poe said you came to see me every day until you went after Luke Skywalker, which I could not believe he was actually real, but you _found_ him! And now he’s here and you’re here, and I have so much to tell you!”

“I have so much to tell you, too, but there’s no time!” Rey grabbed his shoulders. “The First Order found us and they’re bringing some kind of weapon with them.”

His eyes went wide, and without another word grabbed her hand and ran with her to find Leia, collecting a joyful-turned-worried Poe and a smaller girl Finn called Rose, who Rey noticed fell automatically in step with her friend on the way.

“General!” He raised his voice urgently, and Rey saw Leia and Luke both turn towards them with identical expressions of concern.

“They’re here!” Rey gasped out as soon as they were close enough. “The First Order. They found us and there’s AT-ATs and a giant weapon-”

“How many?” Leia demanded, and at her side, Luke closed his eyes briefly.

“Fourteen Heavy Walkers, three Scout Troopers, some kind of laser siege weapon, and a fleet of TIE Fighters on their way,” he answered quietly, then gave Rey a small satisfied nod that would have lifted her spirits if not for the current circumstances.

One of the soldiers slid open the small viewing window as they pressed against the door, Finn’s face draining to a frightening grey as more people began to come forward.

“It’s a battering ram cannon,” he nearly whispered.

Poe looked at him to ask the question in everyone’s mind. “A what now?” 

“Miniaturized Death Star tech. It'll crack that door open like an egg.” 

Han, who had come up to the group, took a quick glance out of the window. “There has to be a back way out of here, right?” 

With a regretful hum, C-3PO slowly answered, “BB-8 and R2-D2 have analyzed the mine's schematics. This is the only way in or out.” 

A heavy pall immediately settled on the group, making the already musty air feel even thicker.

Shaking his head, Finn looked around at the dispirited room. “Come on. We have allies. People believe in Leia,” he gestured to the general on his right and the energy began to shift with his hopeful tone. They'll get our message, they'll come. But we have to buy time. We gotta take out that cannon.”

The Resistance members gave him purposeful nods and scattered to prepare, spirits bolstered in spite of the looming threat. But Rey saw Leia glance at Kaydel, still monitoring the communications station, and watched the lieutenant give her the slightest headshake. Leia’s shoulders hunched for a moment under an invisible weight before straightening with resolve and the composed leadership that marked her very essence.

Rey’s heart continued to sink. Their distress call had been sent out, and if it had been received, it went unheeded.

No one was coming.

The idea that this could truly be the end, that these last embers of hope— the last Jedi, General Leia, the heroes Han and Chewie— could be completely snuffed out on this remote planet, in a dark cave, with no chance of rescue seeped into Rey’s veins like poison. She would never find her parents. She would never become a Jedi. 

She would never see Ben again.

Backing up into a small corner, each breath coming faster and shallower, her heart pounded in her ears as her hand desperately clutched the steadfast warmth resting in her palm.

“Rey?”

Her head snapped to the side to see the familiar black and silver mask, tilted to the side in concern, his gloved hand firmly in her grasp. 

“Ben,” she whispered, tears of relief and worry pricking at her eyes.

He stiffened at the edge in her voice. “What’s wrong?”

Stars, there was no _time_. No time to explain what was happening, how they got there, how she was less scared for herself and more scared for the destruction of hope for the galaxy, for the Resistance, for him.

Her eyes traced the edges of the dark glass that hid his face, evidence that on some level he still felt fealty to the Shadow, still believed Snoke’s voice in his head.

Or perhaps, she had been given just enough time.

“It doesn’t matter. I’m glad you’re here,” she told him, dropping her eyes to the quilted fabric of his surcoat. “I wanted to talk to you, just… just in case.”

Ben stepped around to face her, not releasing her hand. “In case of what?” 

She gave him a watery smile as she heard the fear beneath his sharpening tone. “In case I don’t get a chance to tell you later.”

The black cloth of his tunic that had been rising and falling with each of his breaths suddenly stopped.

“Where are you?” He growled.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“The pfassk it doesn’t matter! You tell me where you are and what is going—” 

“Ben,” she interrupted softly. “Please. Just… listen to me.”

A moment passed, and then a long sigh came through the vocoder as his shoulders relaxed a fraction of an inch.

“I need you to know,” Rey started slowly, her grip tightening around his fingers. “No matter what happens, I need you to know that…” her hand drifted up to his chest, hovering there uncertainly as she struggled for words, “that you are so much more than what they made you.”

She could almost picture his eyebrows drawing together in confusion, a dark black or sometimes brown in her mind, over expressive eyes that changed color depending on his mood.

“Snoke, the Shadow, even Luke, they wanted you for your power, for what you could do for them. But you are so much more than that. They saw your strength, your anger.” Swallowing, she tried to hold back the tears clawing up her throat. “But I see your heart, Ben.”

Slowly, carefully, still afraid her hand would pass through him, she pressed her palm to his chest, gratified when she felt his sharp intake of breath at her touch.

“You have a kind heart, Ben. I know it’s been hurt, but it’s still there.”

Rey gave a soft smile as she felt the muffled _thump-thump_ under her hand, underscoring her point. “Promise me, whatever happens, you’ll remember that.”

His voice, when he answered, was halting and heavy with unspoken words. “Rey…”

“Promise me,” she commanded again, looking up to his visor in fierce determination before softening. “Please.”

After a moment, his gloved hand lifted up to cover her own.

“I promise,” he rumbled, the chin of his helmet tucked nearly to his torso.

Closing her eyes, Rey leaned forward and rose on her tiptoes, gently touching her forehead to his for one last assurance he was real. The cool metal rested against her skin, then followed her down as she resettled on her feet, the comforting weight of his presence a bulwark against the growing terror.

The sound of Rey’s name being called drew their attention as Leia came into view. As both of their heads turned toward her, Leia’s mouth dropped open; her expression instantly shifting from careful composure to stunned disbelief.

“Ben?” She breathed.

But when Rey looked back, he was gone. The warmth faded from her hand, and she frantically tried to remember the soft rhythm of his heartbeat under her fingers.

Leia stepped closer, her deep brown eyes glittering with tears. “Was that…”

Before Rey could attempt an unsatisfactory answer— _Yes. No. Almost. Possibly._ — a tinny voice echoed off the stone walls of the mine, almost painfully loud.

“-cess Leia? General, are you there? Come in, Resistance Base.”

The women glanced at each other with wide eyes a second before rushing toward the subspace receiver where Kaydel was already responding.

“This is the Resistance Base, we read you, come in.”

“This Commander Wedge Antilles. We got your distress call and are standing by for orders.”

With a grin born of overwhelming relief, Leia grabbed the communicator and sank into the nearby chair. “Took your sweet time getting here, Commander,” she remarked cheekily.

A bark of laughter came through. “We wanted to make sure we looked presentable for Your Highness. From the herd of walkers outside, I assume you’d like an evac sooner rather than later?”

Rey’s knees nearly gave out while her heart soared. They may not be out of the Sinking Sands yet, but at least for now, they had hope.

…

Far away in orbit over a distant planet, Kylo stood frozen in his ship, one hand still on his chest as Rey’s words rang over and over in his head.

_“You are so much more than what they made you.”_

_“No matter what happens…”_

Stilling his mind, he closed his eyes and meditated, sinking into the Force until he found that bright thread of light stretching out from his torso into the vast expanse of stars.

_“You have a kind heart, Ben.”_

His hand curled into a resolute fist as he marched toward the cockpit, pausing a moment to glance at the empty chair next to him, devoid of any light or warmth.

_“In case I don’t get a chance to tell you later.”_

“Oh, _kark_ no.” He snarled, then slammed the controls forward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! I still am able to put words together now and then. Thank you so much for all of your patience and your kind words - to everyone who left comments, they truly inspired me to keep writing!
> 
> Also for your interest: [Keldabe Kiss](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Keldabe_kiss)


	18. The Stand

“We’re standing by for wherever you need us. Where should we land?” Wedge’s voice cracked over the comms and caused a weighty silence to fall over the gathered rebels as they all turned to stare at the blast door.

“How long does that thing take to open?” Poe asked tensely.

Finn bit his lip and shook his head. “Five minutes.”

Rose swallowed. “Too long.”

Leia and the others quickly began whispering among themselves, and Rey could sense the fledgeling hope slipping into panicked dread. Forcing herself to take a deep breath, her eyes cast around until she found one of the small crystalline animals peeking out from behind a supply crate. It tilted its head curiously, nearly identical to the sand foxes back on Jakku, except for the long strands of opaque quartz refracting the low light in the cave.

She gave a half-hearted smile at the resemblance and small reminder of her desert home. It blinked at her for a moment, then gave a small yip and scurried off, joined by a few of its pack as it raced down one of the tunnels. 

Her smile faded a little as she suddenly felt a light tug in the center of her being. She thought for a moment Ben had reappeared, but this felt… different. More ethereal. Bracing herself against the rough wall of the cavern, closing her eyes to follow the sensation, she missed the way Luke’s head slightly shifted her direction, as if listening to a faint echo.

The gentle pull seemed to be taking her along with the glittering foxes while they barked at each other and skittered further down the winding passage. She could pick up a bit of their thoughts as they ran; different pack members sorted by scents, varying levels of hunger, where their homes and burrows were. Friends, food, safe.

_ Not so different from the rest of us, _ she thought to herself as the vulptex pushed through the darkness and turned its head away a little as its eyes adjusted to the-

Light.

There was a way out.

Rey’s eyes snapped open.

“There’s a way-” she began to shout, then hissed as a hidden edge to the stone wall sliced into her palm and wrist. Gritting her teeth, she put pressure on the wound and rushed forward.

“There’s another way out!” Rey called as she stumbled into the main area, drawing the attention of every being in the bunker. “Through the tunnels!”

Silence reigned for a moment, then Leia stepped out of the crowd and gestured to one of the ramshackle tech stations. “Show me.”

As one of the junior controllers quickly pulled up a map of the bunker, Rey closed her eyes again and tried to visualize the path the foxes had taken.

“We’ve already analyzed the schematics,” she heard a whisper behind her. “What more does she think-”

“Hush,” Leia said, her soft voice commanding the room, gaze never leaving Rey.

Taking a breath, she pointed to the corner of the map with her uninjured hand. “There. That tunnel leads directly out to the southeast.”

The controller glanced at her with drawn brows before turning to Leia. “The schematics say that it’s a dead-end. A cave-in a hundred yards before it breaches the surface.”

Leia studied the maze of twisting green lines, then looked to Rey as if they had all the time in the world. Anxiety spiking through her veins, Rey realized that there was no reason for Leia or any of them to trust the word of a nobody - a metal scrapper from the Outer Rim masquerading as a Jedi. Why would anyone-

“Send those coordinates to Wedge immediately.”

There was the briefest of pauses before the comms officer nodded. “Yes, General.”

Rey let out a breath she wasn’t aware she was holding as the older woman smiled kindly and patted her shoulder. “Thank you, Rey.”

Staggering back a few steps, Rey yelped in pain as something gripped her wounded hand. She snapped her head up to see Luke intently studying the long slice in her palm.

“Well done,” he murmured, surprisingly gentle fingers tracing the gash. 

She shifted uncomfortably. “I didn’t do anything except follow a fox.”

“You listened,” Luke hummed, placing his hand on her forearm. “A lesson the wisest of Jedi could take to heart.”

“Well I-” the rest of her protest was cut off in a gasp as Luke pressed on the still-bleeding wound. She was about to yank her arm away when the flesh began gradually knitting back together. Eyes wide, Rey stared as the blood slowed, then stopped, a light scar appearing on her skin in the gash’s place.

“How did you do that?” She asked in awed reverence.

There was a rueful chuckle as Luke reached up and placed his hand over her eyes. It took but a moment now to see the orbs of light all around her, and a small thread linking the almost painfully bright Jedi to her own glowing strands of life.

He continued drawing his hand across her arm, healing the rest of the wound. “I am giving you a bit of my life.”

“What? No!” Rey nearly stepped back in shock, but the older man’s grip remained firm.

“Force energy,” he explained, turning her forearm to examine the scar. “Transferring my lifeforce to yours.” Glancing up with a small quirk to the corner of his mouth, Luke added, “Just a bit. But enough to help.”

“I… I didn’t know Jedi could heal,” she stuttered at last.

Luke stood very still, then in a voice weighted by decades of sorrow, answered, “It’s little needed now, with med droids and bacta tanks, but still… it is a comfort to remember how to heal instead of—”

His gaze went distant, and Rey began to hear the screams of ghosts that still haunted him.

“Thank you,” she said, stepping into his eyeline. “For teaching me.”

Blinking out of his reverie, the Jedi gave a startlingly genuine half-bow in response. “I’m sorry it took so long.”

Whatever she was about to say was lost to a loud burst of static.

“Commander Antilles, come in, we have landing coordinates for evac.”

“Well, I’m glad you’ve got some good news, because I’ve got a bantha-load of bad. A squadron of TIE Fighters are getting ready to break orbit and are headed your direction any minute now.” Leia and Han instinctively glanced at each other as the room broke into frightened whispers.

The purple-haired woman Leia had spoken to earlier grabbed the receiver. “Commander Antilles, this is Vice Admiral Holdo. Can you land without them seeing you?”

“We can try, but we have minimal fighting capabilities, and if they do any sweeps of the area…” The static-laden voice drifted off, but his meaning was clear.

Holdo let out a long breath, then straightened her shoulders. “Understood, Commander. Standby for further instructions.”

As Rey tried to simultaneously stay out of the way and think of how to help, she watched Luke rub his hand across his beard absentmindedly before glancing at the blast door. He stared at it for a moment, his gaze tracing the seams up to the top of the cavern before descending again. Closing his eyes, he let out a long breath, as if to steel his nerve, then marched over to the communications station. 

The junior controller turned to him with a half-formed protest until Luke waved his fingers across her eyeline. She blinked, then stood and went to join one of the murmuring groups as Luke slumped onto the crate that served as a seat. Rey tilted her head curiously as the Jedi stared at the comms system with an oddly sorrowful expression before slowly picking up the receiver.

“Red Two report in.”

Static sizzled for a moment before a completely shocked voice responded,  _ “Luke?” _

A wry smile twisted Luke’s mouth. “Hey, Wedge.”

“What the sithspawn are you doing there? People said you made the final jump years ago.”

Chuckling a little, Luke shook his head. “Not yet. Glad to hear you’re still in the black.”

“Doing a few supply runs here and there, though I’ve got the Princess to thank for making my life interesting again.”

Luke gave him a ghost of a laugh, then pressed his lips together. “I can give you time, Wedge. But you need to promise to get her out safe.”

Rey frowned at his solemn tone and the knot forming in her stomach.

There was a long beat, and then an understanding voice responded, “I promise. And Luke… it’s been an honor.”

A heartwrenching attempt at a smile flickered across Luke’s face. “Clear skies, Red Two,” he choked out in a gravelly voice.

“Clear skies, Red Five.”

Swiping at his eyes, Luke coughed and stood up, busying himself with straightening his robes.

“Master Skywalker?” Rey broached carefully, but still seemed to startle him nonetheless.

“What?”

“Is there… Is there some way I can help?”

He placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it lightly. “You already have. More than you know.”

Before Rey could ask what he meant, they both heard footsteps approaching. Looking over, she saw Han walking briskly toward them, Chewie a few steps behind, his pace slowing as he caught sight of Luke.

“How are we doing?” He asked, raising an eyebrow at Rey’s concerned gaze and Luke’s slouched posture.

The Jedi lifted one shoulder carelessly. “Same as always.”

“That bad, huh?” Han asked with a curious smile just as Leia marched up.

“Alright, I’ve been talking to Amilyn and Ackbar and we think if Wedge comes in from-”

“Leia.”

A frown of annoyance appeared between her brows at being interrupted, but after taking a moment to truly take in Luke’s expression, her demeanor shifted from the Resistance General to a worried sister. “Luke? What’s going on?”

“I can give you time to get out,” he told her quietly. “And hopefully delay them long enough for you and Han and Chewie to fly out on the  _ Falcon- _ ”

Leia’s eyes narrowed. “I’m not leaving my troops behind.”

He gave her a faintly amused nod in acknowledgment. “For Han and whatever other fighters you have to fly out while Rey leads the rest out to Wedge through the tunnels.”

Chewie roared a question with a demanding gesture. 

“Yeah, how the hell  _ are  _ you planning on doing that?” Han repeated, then stopped at the look in Luke’s eyes. “Oh.”

Stubbornness seeped into Leia’s voice as she straightened her shoulders. “No. We can find another—”

Raising a hand to forestall her, Luke’s blue eyes grew distant as he studied her face. “I’m glad I found you in that cell all those years ago.”

“Luke…”

“I’m sorry, Leia. For Ben. For leaving. For everything.” His gaze shifted to the left. “You were right, Han. I was hiding. But not any more.”

Leia grabbed her brother’s hand. “Luke, I… you were gone for so long. I don’t want to lose you again.”

Resting his forehead gently against hers, Luke offered a soft smile. “No one’s ever really gone.”

He clasped Han’s forearm tightly, both men’s eyes overbright with tears, then turned to Rey who was already shaking her head in refusal.

“No, no, you can’t, I… I don’t know how to help or what I need to do, and I can’t learn any of that if—” The words stuck in her throat as Luke placed a kind hand on her shoulder.

“Rey,” he started, brows drawn with quiet regret. “I have been a poor master to you. You deserve far better. There is so much to teach you, and so much you already know. I am both proud and sorry that you will have to grow beyond me.”

_ “How?” _ She demanded in tearful desperation.

“By failing. By learning. By fighting. Failure is our greatest teacher, and hope is our greatest weapon.” Gently cupping her face in his hands, Luke met her gaze with a sad smile. “You will need both in the days to come. Now go.”

“No! I can’t—”

Rey bit her lip at the look in Luke’s eyes. She had seen it before; in different people and times on Jakku, on Takodana, in the faces of those who had accepted their fate — and could not be swayed from it. She gave a slow, final nod in acknowledgment before forcing herself to turn around and start toward the tunnel, using the vision offered her by the Force since her own eyesight was blurred with tears.

“Raise the door,” Luke commanded the older Mon Calamari in charge of security.

“Sir — if the First Order sees it opening, we’ll be sitting mynocks!” He protested in a wavering voice.

The Jedi responded with a long, fixed stare. “They won’t.”

“But—”

“Do as he says,” the unquestionable authority of Leia’s voice making the captain jump a bit. 

“Yes, General,” he warbled, wincing a little as he shifted the lever and a low grinding of gears began to lift the bunker.

Pitching her voice to carry throughout the cavern, Leia continued, “Pilots, get to your fighters! Prepare to provide aerial support! Everyone else, grab supplies and follow Rey into the tunnels!”

Han gave Luke a solemn salute while Chewie crushed him into a furry hug. As Leia started to head into the caves, she and Luke both paused and looked back in heartbreaking symmetry.

“Luke...” she started, then mustered a watery smile. “I’m glad you’re here.”

His expression matched her own in love and sorrow. “So am I.”

With resolute purpose, Luke Skywalker strode out into the blanched wastelands, leaving a trail of red footprints behind him.

…

Rey would have been far more nervous at the prospect of leading an entire group of Resistance fighters down a dark tunnel if not for how far she was spreading her consciousness through the Force to watch what Luke was doing.

The bright, nearly blinding light of his presence moved with calm, inexorable intent toward the line of First Order machines advancing toward the bunker. Widening her senses, Rey felt a surge of scornful pity from the pilots as he was spotted; a grey-cloaked figure against the salt-white surface, a lone human marching against a wall of walking fortresses.

A single red beam of energy from the AT-AT flew at him, only to strike the ground. A brief pause, then another shot and another miss while Luke’s pace continued unabated. The pity began to change into irritated confusion with every ignored blast, until finally every gun was turned in his direction, a hail of deadly fire raining down, scorching the planet to reveal the blood-red crystal beneath.

Silence reigned for a moment as the cloud of vaporized salt settled, then a renewed rush of anger bloomed as Luke theatrically brushed dust off his shoulders in response. More shots surrounded him as the sleds pulling the battering ram cannon continued forward. Suddenly the stream of red lights clustered around him flew off and slammed into the cannon, leaving Luke standing with his hand outstretched as the battering ram began exploding from the redirected blasts with hisses of red sparks and flames.

Rey was distracted from the imploding siege weapon by the trace of light stretching out from behind him back towards the base. Following the thread, she was brought to a shining curtain encompassing the entirety of the bunker door. She frowned at the double vision before her, two layers of solid metal shimmering on top of each other, until she realized Luke was holding an illusion in front of the outpost as the real door slowly crept upward.

“Rey. Rey!” 

A gentle hand on her shoulder brought her back to the tunnel as Finn called her name. Blinking, she glanced around at the darkness around them, her eyes adjusting to see a wall of boulders, all blocking the one way out.

“...trapped! How are we supposed to…”

“...knew it was too good to be true.”

“Stars, we’re going to die here, aren’t we?”

The terrified whispers surrounded her, pressing in with the black of the shadows until Leia took a step to stand next to her, giving her a calming, confident nod.

Rey forced her shoulders to relax, then reached out to touch the blockade of stone before her, allowing the rough texture against her fingers to bring another voice to her mind.

_ “What do you know of the Force?” A grumbling voice asked of her, the sun-warmed rock steady under her hand. _

Smiling at the memory, she closed her eyes and focused on the myriad of strings flowing around her, slowly shifting the boulders upward.

“Lifting rocks,” she laughed to herself, eyes opening to watch the light pour into the cavern, bits of salt and dust falling as the stones began to float in the air. With a grin, she turned toward Finn, who was openly gaping alongside Rose and the rest of the Resistance at the collection of weightless rocks drifting away from them to reveal a large ship with an open hatch a few yards away.

“Antilles Off-World Express, ready for boarding!” An older human called from the ship, his hazel eyes twinkling as he stood with hands on hips.

“Wedge!” Leia let out an audible breath of relief as the group cautiously began moving between the floating boulders. 

Commander Antilles gave her a salute as the two other ships on either side of him lowered ramps with soft pneumatic hisses. “Ready and waiting, General. Wasn’t sure how you were going to get out, but it’s nice to see Luke isn’t the only one with tricks up his sleeve,” he remarked with a nod toward Rey, who awkwardly returned the gesture.

Reminded by the commander’s words, Rey settled the rocks to the side of the pathway and mentally followed the bright beacon of energy through the Force back to Luke, still standing in front of the towering wall of First Order combat walkers while the siege cannon sat immobile and sparking uselessly. She shuddered to a halt as she felt the unmistakable vibration of pain emanating from the Jedi. On closer inspection, she noticed a sheen of sweat on his forehead and a damp spot on his shoulder, slowly reddening the cream fabric while the AT-ATs shifted their focus to blasting the few weapons set up in the empty trench guarding the outpost.

Glancing back, she saw the bunker door still rising under Luke’s illusion, just barely too small for the Falcon to fly out. A recognizable whine drew her attention past the walkers, and her heart sank as a line of black TIE Fighters raced along the white sand, kicking up dust behind them and spelling certain death for Luke and every pilot still in a grounded ship.

Unable to help or look away, Rey watched Luke straighten his shoulders and brace himself for the coming storm. 

Smugness growing from the soldiers in each walker, the nearby AT-AT took a thundering step toward him and geared up to fire as another mechanical scream split the sky, the TIEs clearly getting closer. Luke closed his eyes in preparation for the end while Rey dug her fingernails into her palms and forced herself not to look away.

The signature sound of laser cannons firing filled the air, and red light flashed as two bolts flew into the AT-AT’s head, causing the machine to freeze, then slowly keel over into its neighbor. Rey stared in confusion, then looked up to see an achingly familiar silhouette of an Upsilon-class command shuttle shrieking through the atmosphere as it fired again on another AT-AT, then spun in a tight circle to face the oncoming wave of TIE Fighters.

As relief flooded her senses, Rey couldn’t help the wide, watery grin stretching across her face as she whispered a single word in ineffable joy.

_ “Ben.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always to my incredble beta shewhospeakswiththunder!
> 
> Feel free to come say hi to me on [my Tumblr](https://happilyeveraftereveryday.tumblr.com/) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/erulisse17)!


	19. The Vision

Stars, this was stupid.

What was worse is that he  _ knew  _ it was stupid, but he was doing it anyway.

As Kylo broke orbit, racing along the bright thread connecting him to Rey, he perfunctorily checked his scanner, then paused and checked it again, just to be sure there wasn’t a glitch somewhere. But no.

Luke Skywalker was indeed facing down the First Order, armed only with a laser sword.

Seemed like crazy ran in the family.

Heaving a loud sigh through his helmet, Kylo armed his laser cannons and swooped down to save his presumed dead uncle’s life. 

Sometimes he wondered what normal people leading quiet lives on quaint planets did.

Taking out the AT-AT about to step on Luke, he absently noted the damaged siege cannon, then banked hard to face the wave of TIE Fighters heading toward the outpost. With one last muttering about why he was even here, he swung around in a tight loop and fired at the two ships in the middle, watching the others break off in a textbook pattern.

His shots took out one, but missed the other fighter he had been aiming for, quickly gaining its attention. It barreled toward him while the six others shifted around to flank his shuttle, firing green bolts at his wings. He spun upside down and shot back, injuring his main attacker while dodging the laser blasts from it and the surrounding fighters. 

Slamming the controls up, Kylo forced four of them to follow him higher into the atmosphere. He ground his teeth as he saw the TIEs gaining on him. While their shields were definitely weaker, the newest version of the First Order starfighters were lighter and faster than his Upsilon-class shuttle.

The four fighters split into a diamond pattern, covering all sides of his ship, and began harrying him, lighting up his shields and control panel with warning lights as his ship’s computer started to list in unnecessary detail the amount of damage he was taking. With a growl, he braked hard, sending all four ships out in front of him in a perfect array for his laser cannons.

Two shots took out the ones on top and to the left, but the others caught on fast. One looped behind to take shots at the engine vents, trying to slow him down, while its companion flipped around and dove straight for his cockpit in a martyr move. Before Kylo could react beyond a fleeting moment of regret for not seeing Rey in person one last time, a series of flashes reflected across his screen and the ship’s computer informed him that the barrage from below had ceased as well.

Squinting against the light even in his helmet, Kylo froze as a hum of engines as familiar as the sound of his own heart echoed above him. Unable to help himself, he glanced up in time to see Han Solo and Chewbacca staring straight down into the transparisteel canopy; the Wookie’s face filled with hope, his father’s with overwhelming relief, both tinged with wistful regret.

He felt it again - the pull to the light, warring with the whispers of the Shadow that spoke and clung to him as they had in the Starkiller oscillator.

Neither his father or uncle spoke as they watched him, but he could hear their words all the same.

_ Return to your tree. _

_ Come home. _

He fled.

He banked sharper than he had in any battle, accelerated faster than any jump to hyperspeed, trying desperately to leave those looks, their calls behind him. 

As he headed back toward the outpost, Kylo could see a few more X-Wings flying out of the bunker to join the rest of the squadron in the sky, cleaning up the last of the TIEs as the walkers trailed smoke and ash in a steady line. His eyes drifted down to see a single figure standing exactly where Kylo had left him, dark cloak wafting slightly in the breeze as his face turned upward.

_ Thank you, Ben, _ he heard spoken in his mind.

_ I didn’t do it for you! _ Kylo snarled in response.

There was an oddly rueful chuckle as Luke’s gaze seemed to pierce the distance between them, through the cockpit and past his helmet into Kylo’s very soul.  _ I know. _

The silence lingered long enough that he was considering repeating his escape move from earlier when he saw the figure give a salute from down below.

_ See you around, kid. _

And with that, the grey robes of Luke Skywalker drifted to the salt and ash-white ground, landing with a whisper as the gaping absence in the Force sent ethereal shockwaves through the planet.

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Ben muttered to himself, pushing away the abhorrently weak sentiments of grief and remorse before curving up toward the sky.

…

Rey was helping the last members of the Resistance onboard Wedge’s ship when the abrupt, jarring loss in the Force drove her staggering back a few steps, like a starship’s engine had suddenly cut out and left a roaring silence in her ears. Rose was holding Finn steady as he stumbled, and a few other rebels were looking around as if to pinpoint a source for their discomfort. Her eyes found Leia sitting heavily on a bunk, the purple-haired vice admiral hovering over her in concern.

She found herself moving toward them without conscious thought, and nearly collapsed next to Leia on the thinly padded seat with brimming tears.

“Luke...” she started, the words sticking in her throat, a last refusal to acknowledge the truth.

Leia took her hand with firm gentleness. “I know. I felt it. But it wasn’t with sadness or pain. It was with peace and purpose.”

“But he’s  _ gone, _ ” Rey cried, her voice breaking on the last word as the tears fell freely.

Drawing her in, Leia held her in a way that offered and accepted comfort, in a way Rey had dreamed a mother would, until her sobs began to ebb.

“No one’s ever really gone,” Leia told her with a grief-laden smile. “He is with us, and he is with you, in every action you take.”

Summoning a weak nod, Rey took a bracing breath, then glanced up as Vice Admiral Holdo, who had stepped away to allow them a moment, returned. 

“General, Commander Antilles has a few questions about our destination, if you’re free. If not, I can tell him—”

She held up a hand. “It’s alright, Amilyn. I’ll be there in a moment.”

After placing a warm hand on Rey’s cheek, she stood and joined Holdo, touching shoulders and offering words of comfort and calm amongst the Resistance members as she went. Rey wiped her eyes and took another deep breath, reaching out for solace before she truly realized it.

_ Ben. _

In the space between blinks, she saw his dark, silver-lined helmet turn slightly until he found her.

_ Rey, _ he breathed in something akin to relief.  _ You’re alright. _

_ Thanks to you, _ she told him, and felt him shift uncomfortably in response, fiddling with the controls that must be in front of him. As she watched his gloves move over the invisible panel, she suddenly recognized the sequence for preparing for lightspeed and a flash of fear struck her heart.

_ Rey, _ he started before she suddenly blurted out— 

_ Come with us. _

There was a moment of silence, and the helmet tilted down a little as he rubbed the back of his neck.

_ We both know that’s a bad idea. _

_ No we don’t! _ She insisted, then bit her lip and tried to soften her tone.  _ Ben, they miss you. _

Rey saw his shoulders tense, watched the dark helm lift stubbornly to argue with her when she ducked her head a little and murmured out loud,  _ “I _ miss you.”

She could feel his surprise, his reluctance, his longing, but before he could answer, Wedge’s ship lurched as it jumped to hyperspace, breaking their connection.

Staring at the spot on the wall where Ben had appeared, Rey choked back another round of tears, curled up on the small bunk, and quickly fell into a dreamless sleep.

…

Kylo was  _ trying  _ to meditate.

Mediation, communing with the Shadow, was the only way to quiet his mind from the crashing waves of uncertainty and doubt brought on from seeing Han and Chewie again, from feeling Luke’s presence vanish, from hearing Rey’s words echo over and over again, her eyes wide and earnest and far too honest.

_ They miss you. _

I _ miss you. _

Shaking his head to clear it, he forced himself to focus, to embrace the darkness, to release himself into the Shadow’s vast power until a shifting in the Force behind him caused his eyes to snap open.

“Go. Away.”

“Told you I’d be seeing you, kid.”

Refusing to turn around, Kylo straightened his shoulders and screwed his eyes shut. “Don’t you have anyone else you can annoy? What about my replacement? She was your last student— oh wait. You refused to train her and left her without a teacher.”

“I did refuse at first. But she was not without a teacher.”

“Yes she was!  _ I _ had to—” 

He could just see Luke's eyebrow quirk at him as the implication rang loudly in the sudden silence. After letting that sit a moment, the Jedi continued, “You need me more than Rey does at the moment.”

Stung, he instantly forgot his resolution and whirled around with bared teeth. “I have  _ never  _ needed you!”

He stopped at the sight of his uncle - semi-transparent and outlined in an aura of blue, studying him with disquieting intensity. 

With something like a sigh, Luke spoke softly. “I failed you Ben. As your Master and your family. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sure you are!” Ben shot back, although with strangely less venom than he had imagined when finally confronting his uncle, then pointedly turned back around.

After a few minutes of failed mediation, Kylo peered around and scowled to see Luke patiently sitting cross-legged on the shuttle floor, hands on knees, staring at him.

“What the pfassk are you still doing here?” He demanded irritably.

Luke’s voice was as tranquil as ever. “I am here until I fulfill my duty to you.”

“So I’m stuck with you forever?  _ Perfect _ .” Kylo growled, then closed his eyes again.

Another minute of silence passed, and a quick peek over his shoulder showed that the blue glow hadn’t vanished.

“Why the kark are you here anyway?” He snapped in frustration. “I don’t follow your precious Light anymore. Not since you gave up on me. Not since you tried to  _ kill  _ me.”

The specter in front of him seemed unmoved, except for a subdued bow of his head. “I was wrong, Ben.”

Somewhat nettled by Luke’s unprotesting acceptance, Kylo wrinkled his nose under his mask and tried to continue his tirade. “It doesn’t matter. I follow a new master now. I am faithful to the Shadow.”

He couldn’t resist glancing back to see Luke’s response, which was a calm, “Are you?”

_ “Yes!”  _ Kylo shouted, spinning around and getting to his feet in a rage. “I have never removed my helmet. It has never been removed by anyone else. No one has seen my face. I take what the galaxy offers. I consume what the Shadow sends. I have honored the work of the Hand. Everything I am belongs to the Shadow!”

“And Rey?”

The two words froze him where he stood. 

With an oddly gentle expression, Luke stood and met his gaze. “How much of you belongs to her?”

Kylo had to swallow twice before he could spit out his response. “Get. Out.”

The only sound between them was the low rumble of the engines, until Luke tilted his head thoughtfully. “Interesting.”

“What?” He sneered.

“You don’t mean it.”

Before he could growl multiple curses about how much he meant every word, Luke’s apparition faded from view, robbing him of the satisfaction of a final retort.

Glaring at the empty space before him, Kylo finally hissed, “Stars, I hate him.”

It was perhaps not the best mindset for mediation, but nevertheless he slammed down on the floor and plunged himself into the welcome darkness. With every breath, he pulled in the Shadow, then pushed away the burn of the light. He clung to his anger, his hurt, his power, and shoved away Luke’s meaningless apology, his pointless prodding, the way he mentioned— 

_ Come with us, _ her voice echoed softly, hazel eyes beseeching his own.  _ They miss you. _

I _ miss you. _

Too late he attempted to hide her whisper, cover her plea, but much like at the Temple at Umbr’A, the Shadow seized them, latching onto the ringing of her light alto, long grasping fingers prying her face from his memories.

Snarling at him on Jakku.

Betrayed tears falling as Hux dragged her away.

Gleefully victorious at the controls of his ship.

Strength shining in her face as she wielded Luke’s saber.

The vision suddenly changed, shifting away from his memories to something else, something different. He could still see Rey’s face, but her gaze was fixed on a point beyond him, staring wide-eyed at a hooded figure in a black cloak slowly stalking towards her.

Try as he might, he couldn’t make out any of their features, besides a slight shine of yellow eyes in the darkness of the cowl. He saw Rey raise her hand, fingers outstretched towards the figure, then take a sudden gasp of air. Her skin went ashen-white, and her hazel eyes grew dull before she fell heavily to the ground, unmoving.

He tried to scream, but his mouth clamped shut. Tried to run, but his feet were rooted to the floor. Tried to reach her, to hold her, to do something, but his arms were locked to his side.

_ In the dying days of the Light, the Shrouded Sun will arise,  _ a deep, sourceless whisper reverberated around him. 

Still trapped in place, he heard the hum of Vicrul’s scythe, the sizzle of Kuruk’s sniper rifle.

_ Her fire marks the Warriors of Night, her flame reveals the Shadow’s form.  _

Unable to move, he struggled against the unseen manacles as the cloaked form studied Rey’s limp body a moment before fading from view.

_ As the stars fade, as the spheres burn, she shall do battle with the Child of Darkness.  _

Explosions of light reflected around him, red and green and blue and white, from laser blasts and lightsaber blades and the stark white illumination from Umbr’A’s eclipse.

_ Even as the Shrouded Sun claims her own, so shall she fall, and surrender her light. _

What little brightness there was faded until only Rey’s face could be seen - freckles stark against cheeks too pale, green-gold eyes without luster, the warmth of her essence cold and empty, unheeding his silent screams of rage and grief.

He fell to the metal floor in a heap, panting and shuddering and sweating as the Shadow released him.

_ So shall she fall, and surrender her light,  _ echoed around him, doing nothing to slow the beat of his heart or the shaking of his limbs.

Kylo wasn’t sure how long he lay there, or how he finally dragged himself to the cockpit. He knew he had to wait until his hands stopped trembling to punch in new coordinates, and that every time he closed his eyes, he saw the entire nightmare play out again and again.

Clenching his fist until it hurt, he forced himself to straighten his shoulders and calm his breathing. Summoning words despite his paper-dry mouth, Kylo glared at the remnants of darkness around him and rasped out a promise. 

“Not while I’m alive.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shewhospeakswiththunder is an incredible beta with tons of patience and incredible support. It's true and I should say it.
> 
> My muse has blessed me with many words and hopefully I can keep it up for a while. I love all of you who read and comment and help keep me going in this really weird world!
> 
> Feel free to come say hi to me on [my Tumblr](https://happilyeveraftereveryday.tumblr.com/) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/erulisse17)!


	20. Reunion

“... asked for a roto-hammer and then,” Rose giggled while Rey gasped with laughter, “then he handed me a Harris wrench!”

“He didn’t!”

“And when I stared at him, he shrugged and said, ‘I thought you wanted a screwdriver’!”

With a final tweak to the servomotor, Rey wiped her brow with a smile. “Yeah, Finn is a great friend but a bit shavit at tools.”

Rose closed the hatch and shrugged. “At least he listens. I can’t tell you how many flyboys would rather swim with kalkeenas than take my advice for how to—”

“Rose!”

They both turned to see Paige waving across the jungle clearing. “The power generator is giving off some weird readings! Can you come check it out?”

She responded with a thumbs up and gave the servomotor a final kick for good measure before turning to Rey. “You want to come take a look? Can always use an extra set of eyes.”

Unused to the rush of warmth at being included in something, even if it was more work, Rey smiled and shook her head. “I’ll stay here and make sure the servo actually runs first. Thanks though.”

“See you at the canteen later?”

“Defin—” Rey started, then stopped as a tingling sensation caused the hair on her arms to rise. With an unerring sense of location, she dropped her tools and took off running into the jungle, heedless of any shouts from the fellow rebels about where she was going.

Rey was nearly flying as she ducked past vines and branches, following only the glowing thread that led her deeper into the rainforest. As she broke into a small clearing, her heart stuttered to a stop at the form of an _Upsilon_ -class shuttle just lowering its ramp as the wings folded in.

Barely daring to hope, she jumped over the still moving ramp and raced inside the ship, screeching to a halt as an exquisitely familiar black-clad form at the top of the platform turned in surprise.

_“Ben,”_ she breathed in disbelief, then ran forward and crashed into him, burying her face in his quilted tunic and inhaling deeply, her hands locked around the solid expanse of his back as her forehead rested on his shoulder. The sharp tang of metal layered over the soothing scent of his gabalwool and a musky spice that was all his own, filling her nose with irrefutable proof that he was real. “You’re _here.”_

For a moment he seemed too stunned to move, but then a careful weight of cool metal gently rested against the top of her head with a soft sigh. Cautiously, his arms shifted around to press against her back as well, warmth seeping through the dark leather of his gloves.

“You’re hard to find,” she sniffed teasingly into his chest, ignoring the wet spots growing on his tunic, and felt a huff of amusement in response.

“You’re hard to get rid of,” he murmured into her ear, his voice was somehow deeper and more substantial even through his vocoder.

Rey would have been content to stay there forever, surrounded by reassurance of his finally real presence when she felt Ben’s posture stiffen and his hand drift back down to the saber on his belt.

“What is it?” She asked quietly, reaching for her own weapon as she lifted her head.

He answered with a silent jerk of his helmeted chin toward the outside, and Rey looked to see a full company of Resistance fighters holding blasters trained on the both of them. Releasing him, she slowly turned around and widened her stance to protect Ben as much as she could. As she stood on the ramp, Rey glanced around at the allies she had made over the hellish time escaping Crait and rebuilding a base, now setting their sights on someone who was far more than a friend.

“Told you this was a bad idea.”

She did her best to shoot him a dark glower without looking away from the assorted firearms pointed at them. The tension grew between the pair of them on the ramp and the armed group below, Kylo subtly palming his lightsaber as fingers and webbed digits tightened on triggers, Rey glancing between them and setting her jaw until a booming roar in Shyriiwook cut across the clearing.

“Blasters down!” Han repeated in an iron voice, pushing his way forward in Chewie’s wake.

While Rey finally relaxed as the soldiers put away their weapons, if anything, Ben became more tense.

“Ben,” Han nodded gruffly. “The General is waiting for you.”

When he didn’t move, Rey sighed and grabbed his hand, tugging him through the crowd and ignoring the curious looks and whispers racing through the group of rebels. Chewie kept peeking over his shoulders, as if afraid Ben would disappear, while Han continued to walk purposefully toward the command tent in the center of the base.

When Rey came into the pavilion, she watched Leia’s face tight with anticipation, then light up with blinding, tearful elation as Ben ducked inside. Peering around the small space in a militant instinct, he froze the second he saw Leia standing by a table full of schematics.

“Ben,” she smiled weakly, moving to embrace him, but quickly halted when Ben rocked back half a step in something akin to panic.

With a tight press of her lips, the General hid the flash of heartbreaking hurt behind an authoritative mask. Clearing her throat, she nodded after a beat and managed to say, “We’re glad to have you join us.”

“I’m not staying,” his vocoder rasped bluntly, and Rey first frowned at how flat and emotionless his voice was before his words sank in.

“What do you mean you’re not staying?” She demanded, her happiness and visions of him finally fighting by her side with the Resistance suddenly shattering into a thousand pieces.

He turned to her, face unreadable behind the darkness of his visor, but his hand flicked something out of his pocket and toward Han, who caught it easily.

Turning it over as Chewie bent down to look at it, Han commented curiously, “It’s a biotracker fob.”

He held it out and listened as the high-pitched ping grew faster the closer it got to Rey, who was currently glaring at Ben in unmitigated anger as she realized what he was trying to prove.

“And it’s linked to Rey,” Han added, handing it to Leia who also tested its accuracy.

“There are three other Knights of Ren out there who also presumably have one of those, and who knows how many mercenaries. You’re not safe here,” Ben told her, undeterred by her scowl. “We need to leave.”

“I’m as safe here as I am anywhere else. I have the entire Resistance to protect me!” She argued with an empathic wave of her hand.

“And when you give away the base’s position to the First Order? How safe will any of them be then?”

“So what is your grand plan? To live together in a hut on some tiny planet and hope they don’t find us? Because that worked out _so well_ for us last time!” Rey shouted back, unaware of how Han, Leia, and Chewie’s eyebrows all flew upward in interest.

“We hid on Takodana out of necessity,” Ben explained through gritted teeth. “I’ve found better options where Snoke will never be able to-”

“So I’m supposed to just leave everyone behind and run away like a coward? They need my help!”

“You can’t help anyone if you’re dead!” He shouted, then forced himself to take a breath and unclench his fists. “I am _trying_ to save your life.”

“No, you’re not,” she snapped, crossing her arms. “Because if you actually cared about my life, you would have asked me what _I_ want to do with it.”

Radiating fury, she stormed out of the tent and into the jungle before he could say another word.

…

Lolling his head back, Kylo let out a frustrated sigh and dragged his gloved hand over his helmet. Stars, did she always have to make everything so _difficult?_

He stopped as the sound of a muffled snort came from the other side of the tent, and slowly turned to regard the three adults across the table.

_“What?”_ He nearly hissed, his irritation with Rey, dissatisfaction with how their reunion was going so far, and pure awkwardness from being around all of them again making his tone sharp.

“Nothing,” Han answered, shaking his head innocently. “Just a little deja vu is all,” he mumbled as Chewie choked back another laugh and Leia elbowed him directly in the ribs.

“We’re here for another month at least, so there’s plenty of time to come to the right decision for both of you,” she offered, diplomatic as always.

Waving in vague acknowledgement, Kylo took a breath to prepare himself, then headed out to go after her until his mother said his birth name again.

“Ben.”

His feet stopped without any input from his brain, and he tilted his helmet slightly away from the entrance as Leia bit her lip, strangely at a loss for words.

She finally settled on, “It’s good to see you,” with a trembling attempt at a smile that did far too many things to his chest. With a barest of nods, he followed Rey’s footsteps and fled into the jungle.

As he tracked her back through the underbrush, he tried to sort through everything that had happened since he had landed on Ajan Kloss. When he had first seen Rey, truly seen her, he had fumbled for what to say, how to explain why he had come back— and then every thought vanished from his mind as she flung her arms around him and pressed far, far closer than anyone ever had in… decades, at least.

The sheer joy flooding through the Force and the warmth of her embrace had sent heat crashing through his entire body, and for a single moment, he imagined them somewhere else. Somewhere quiet, verdant, with only the two of them standing exactly like this. 

But he wasn’t an idiot. He knew the Resistance shooting him where he stood was a viable, and honestly fairly likely conclusion. Even before the sound of blasters whirred to life, he had planned to speak to her alone, convince her to come with him, and hopefully lay low until one side or the other declared victory.

He had not planned for his father and Chewie to show up, nor for Rey to grab his hand and drag him smack into the middle of everything he had been running from his entire life.

“You can’t hide from difficult choices,” a ghostly voice informed him, and Kylo sincerely hoped Luke could see the exaggerated eyeroll through his helmet. “Trust me. I tried.”

“Well, I’m not you!” Kylo sneered, then paused to catch his breath and check Rey’s path again.

“Seeing as how you’re here, facing them, I’d agree,” his uncle agreed calmly, then gave a small grin. “And so there’s hope.”

“I’m not facing anything. I’m here to get Rey and get out.”

“It’s that simple, is it?”

“Yes!”

“Hm. It’s a good thing you don’t actually believe that.”

Growling deep in his throat, Kylo continued stomping through the rainforest. “Go away. No one wants you here.”

“If that were true, I wouldn’t be here.”

Kylo spun around with an angry point just in time to see Luke wink at him before disappearing into dappled sunlight. Biting back several choice phrases about his uncle and various activities he could participate in, Kylo walked into a large clearing to see Rey furiously swinging her blue saber through the air in a familiar training pattern.

Leaning against a large rainbow wood tree, he watched her for a minute, noting with pride that her footwork and accuracy had improved since they last sparred.

“You know, the last time you ran off into the woods didn’t end well for either of us,” he commented in an attempted casual tone.

A few more strikes flew through the air. “I’m much better armed now,” she retorted, not looking at him.

After a moment of thought, he grinned beneath his helmet as he stepped forth with an idea, twirling his lasersword idly. “Care to prove it?”

Satisfaction flared as she paused, then met his gaze, tempted despite her jaw still twitching in irritation.

“Fine,” she announced loftily, turning to face him and settling into a deep stance. “But don’t think I’ll go easy on you.”

Before he could ask who should go first, Rey slammed her saber down in an overhead strike with a surprising amount of force. He held his red blade parallel to the ground as he caught the swing, then rotated to arc at her ribs, slowing just a hair to make sure she could parry in time.

He needn’t have worried. Not only did she parry, but she slid her foot back and spun around on her heel to swing at his unprotected hip. Meeting her blade again, he pushed it away and went in with a series of quick parries, alternating high and low, adding a bit more strength to each one as she matched him blow for blow. Soon he was nearly drifting in the mindless rhythm of sparring, allowing himself to simply enjoy a fight without fear of betrayal or death at the end.

As his muscles began to feel the strain of their training, he pressed his weight against her blade while blocking a shot at his chest, Kylo remarked softly, “You know you’re not safe here.”

Rey wrinkled her nose in frustration and stepped backward, sliding down the length of the red blade and attempting a sneaky blow at his arm from underneath. 

“I know this isn’t about what I want,” she snarked, spinning gracefully to the left.

He shifted his weight and went for a curving strike at her left leg. “Alright. What do you want?”

“I want to stay!” She insisted, a sheen of sweat on her own forehead, twisting around to dodge his lightsaber and deliver two blows to each of his shoulders. 

“Why?”

Growling as he ducked out of the way, she answered between huffs of exertion, “Because I have friends here!”

Kylo stopped a moment, genuinely confused. “So?”

Jumping backwards at her wide cut, he batted her blade away before arcing down at her head.

_“So,”_ she retorted, a shake to her arms betraying her fatigue. “I don’t want to leave them!”

“Why not?”

“Because!” Rey shouted, rolling out of the way and popping up to press the steady stream of light against the sizzle of his saber. “That’s all I ever do!”

He paused, considering the possibility of yielding the fight so he could understand what she meant when a sudden tug on his leg and shift in gravity made his eyes go wide behind his visor. He found himself landing heavily on his back, the breath knocked out of him, his off-balance foot hooked neatly by her own.

Rey stood above him, her breaths as loud and fast as his. “Every time I get close to having friends, to having a _family…_ ” she faltered, the frustration draining away as she lowered her voice, “it gets taken away.”

Powering off his weapon, Kylo tilted his head quietly at her from the ground. “So what do you want, Rey?”

After switching off her own blade, Rey swallowed. “I want… I want something that stays. I want some _one_ who—” 

She bit off the rest of her sentence, kicking the fallen leaves a bit before offering him a stiff hand up. He took it gently, getting to his feet as he watched clear drops fall from her face onto the jungle floor, slowly moving closer as he stood.

“Rey,” he started, the whisper enticing her to glance up at him, allowing himself time to savor her green-gold eyes, her dusting of freckles, the tight tremble of her mouth as his gloved thumb brushed across the back of her hand. “I—”

Their heads both snapped to the side in the same instant, a clear ringing in the Force all the warning they had before a red plasma bolt flew out of the trees and exploded in front of them. Yanking her to his chest protectively, Kylo rolled back against the wide trunk of the rainbow wood and tried to figure out who was attacking them even as Rey peered around the other side.

“Come out, come out, Fury!” A deep voice called in a delighted sing-song. “Bring the little scavenger with you too! Let the Heavy try a few toys before it’s all over!”

Kylo winced and started to swear. 

“Who the pfassk is that?” Rey demanded over the sound of repeating laser blasts.

“Cardo. The Heavy. Named because he’s got a karking cannon on his arm. Also a Knight of Ren,” he added with a significant look. “You know, I told—”

She pinned him with a lethal stare. “You finish that sentence and I will shoot you myself.”

* * *

[ Hi-res version here ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/598247991005937677/754141164759678976/Knights_of_Ren_Holonet_File__Cardo_edit.jpg)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always to shewhospeakswiththunder for beta'ing and supporting me both when my muse is flowing and when she's shut herself away like a crazy wizard. Feel free to come yell at me on [my Tumblr](https://happilyeveraftereveryday.tumblr.com/) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/erulisse17)!


	21. The Heavy

“Hiding, Fury? That’s not like you,” Cardo prodded, another plasma bolt bursting into flame on their left, lighting up the small trees around them. “I can burn you out, but it’s far less fun.”

Rey turned to Kylo with a frown. “Burn us out?” 

He sighed. “The Heavy’s arm cannon has a flamethrower.”

“Of course it does.”

“I did  _ try  _ to tell you—”

“Shut it,” she commanded before leaning out from behind their cover and firing her blaster at the approaching black form.

He held a hand up a second too late. “No, don’t—”

A booming laugh echoed through the jungle. “Aha! Found you!”

The tree they were crouched behind suddenly shook with a barrage of blaster fire, which from the warmth of the trunk, was beginning to cut deeper and deeper into the multi-colored wood. 

Kylo turned to her in irritation, which Rey ignored as she holstered her sidearm and grabbed the silver hilt at her belt. “Any advice for how to deflect laser bolts?”

“Block where he aims, not when he fires. He’s got a repeating laser blaster, so focus on blocking the first few and then getting out of the way. The plasma bolts are limited, but explosive — slow them or avoid them entirely.”

“And if he uses his flamethrower?”

Kylo twitched his head to the side and shrugged. “Let’s hope he doesn’t.”

“How helpful,” she muttered, then jerked her chin to the right. “I’ll go this way, you go that way.”

He grabbed her wrist before she moved. “Rey…” 

She glanced back with a glare at his interruption, but her face slowly softened as he fumbled for words, her fingers shifting in his grasp to touch the palm of his glove.

“Just… be careful,” he finished, dropping her hand and fleeing across the burning jungle floor, away from the far too tempting light in her green-gold eyes.

Cardo let out a gleeful shout as Kylo made a run for it and turned his arm cannon to fire a spray of red blasts. Whirling the sizzling red blade through the air, Kylo deflected three of the bolts back toward the Heavy, the flame-resistant cloak negating his efforts before he ducked behind another tree.

“Aha! Ready to fight like the Fury you supposedly are? Snoke wants the girl alive, but I have so many toys to try out first.”

Rey took the opportunity to dash into a thick set of foliage yet untouched by the explosive cannon-fire.

The Heavy’s rough metal mask swiveled towards her. “There you are!”

He lifted his arm to aim at the shrub, but before he could fire Kylo sprang out of the trees, closing the distance between them at a rapid speed. As he ran, he lifted his hand and tried to use the Force to slow Cardo’s movement to buy both himself and Rey more time.

With a loud chuckle, the other Knight cocked his head and shrugged off the effect, swinging the arm cannon back to target Kylo with another series of rapid-fire laser bolts. Kylo deflected two, but the third and fourth found purchase in his thigh and shoulder, the fifth scattering off into the branches.

Bleeding but aware even Cardo needed time to cycle his weapons, Kylo pushed himself past the pain, chopping at the tip of the modified artillery embedded in his left arm in a desperate upswing of his saber. Cardo stumbled back a few steps, then gave a giddy laugh as he switched over the cannon from blaster to flamethrower.

As the naphthex gel activated, a stream of fire blazed past Kylo and scorched the skin at his hip, searing him with unbearable heat until a ping of red light slammed into Cardo’s neck, just below the metal helmet. The Knight swung wildly, giving Kylo enough time to scramble out of the flame and take cover behind a wide tree, hissing at his singed skin.

Peering out, he froze as he saw Rey barrelling out of the foliage, blue blade glowing even as her eyes blazed with determination. She extended her hand, and he felt the Force gathering around her to try and slow Cardo’s movement, just as Kylo had failed to do before. The Knight recognized it as well, scoffing loudly while twisting the flamethrower to engulf her. 

The scoff turned into a grunt of anger as Kylo joined his strength to hers, the arm cannon and flickering flames growing sluggish under their effort. With a loud battle cry, Rey sliced at the nozzle, cutting off the flow of naphthex gel and the source of the lethal inferno. She looked over to Kylo in triumph, who began to return her grin under his mask until he saw Cardo reaching for one of the round objects nestled on the strap connected to his shoulder pauldron.

_ “Rey!” _

Too late he tried to scream a warning, the concussion grenade landing at Rey’s feet almost in slow motion, detonating and throwing her backwards into the broadleaf trees. Her head hit the trunk with a sickening thud before her body slid motionless to the ground.

Whatever pain Kylo felt from his burning side and injured shoulder instantly evaporated under the blistering heat of his anger. He bellowed a primal scream and slashed viciously at Cardo’s mask. The larger Knight jumped backward and went for his secondary blaster, only to cry out in pain as Kylo’s saber cut across his chest and shoulder, the smell of cauterized flesh joining the smoke from the trees. Staggering back a few steps, Cardo tossed his last grenade, only for Kylo to bat it aside and kick him solidly in the torso, sending him flying across the clearing.

Storming over to where the Knight lay among the leaves, Kylo’s unstable red blade sputtered as if reflecting his blazing rage as it hovered directly over Cardo’s throat.

“Do it!” Cardo demanded, an odd glee underlining his words. “Prove your devotion to the Shadow!”

Susurrant whispers grew out of the crackling flame around him, spurring and goading him on, echoing Cardo’s words in a thousand hissed languages. Kylo’s muscles tensed, ready to deliver the final blow, and yet… his arm faltered, as if reluctant to obey.

“Do it, Fury!” The Heavy roared. “Embrace the Darkness! Honor the work of Shadow’s Hand!”

Growling at Cardo, at the echo of their oath, at his own weakness, Kylo raised his saber above his head with both hands and slammed downward with every ounce of strength he still possessed.

“No!”

An unexpected blue blade caught his own halfway down, and he turned in shock to see Rey, battered and bruised, gritting her teeth as she forced the saber back up and away.

“There is honor in defending life,” she rasped out. “In protecting what the galaxy offers, in saving what it sends!”

Cardo, sounding as surprised as Kylo felt, asked slowly, “How does she know the tenets of our faith?”

Not in the mood to point out that the Knight had just been roaring them across the rainforest, Kylo clenched his jaw as she pushed in between him and his fallen comrade.

“Rey, he’s trying to kill you! Or worse!”

“I can see the Shadow around you, Ben!” She told him, tears in her eyes. “I can see it trying to take hold, and I can see you fighting it!”

“You can see the Shadow?” An intrigued voice asked from the ground, but both of them ignored it. 

“I know you think you don’t have a choice but you do! We can battle the Darkness — together,” Rey pleaded, her hazel eyes piercing far too clearly past his visor.

A loud gasp caused them both to whirl around and see Cardo pointing directly at Rey before speaking in an awed voice, “You’re the Shrouded Sun!”

Rey stared. “The what?”

Panic spiking through his veins as the vision of her collapsing lifeless before a dark cloak flashed through his mind, Kylo stepped forward with a threatening growl, “No, she’s  _ not.” _

“Not what?” She demanded, furrowing her brows at him.

“She can see the Shadow’s form!” Cardo turned to Kylo in delight. “Fury, I understand now!”

“No, you don’t!”

“You’re safeguarding the prophecy! I should have seen it! You haven’t betrayed the Shadow at all!”

Kylo leaned closer to Cardo and hissed sharply,  _ “Stop it.” _

Undeterred by his tone, the Knight sat up excitedly. “She’s the Sun! That’s why you’re protecting her — to keep her safe until the Sundering of the Light!”

“What is the ‘Sundering of the Light’?”

Ignoring Kylo’s frantic hand slashing behind her, Cardo looked to Rey and explained, “It’s part of the prophecy of the Ren: ‘ _ Even as the Shrouded Sun claims her own, so shall she fall, and surrender her light.’ _ So when you die, you give up your Light to the Shadow!”

Kylo winced behind his mask as Rey froze in place. “When I…”

“Die, yes! It’s the oldest prophecy we have and I cannot believe it’s coming true in my time.”

Slowly spinning on her heel, Rey leveled a flat gaze in Kylo’s direction. “Did you know about this?”

There was a long beat before he muttered, “It doesn’t mean anything.”

“He certainly doesn’t believe that! And now I’m thinking neither do you!”

A loud crash sounded in the silence between them as a charred branch fell from its tree to the ground, drawing their attention back to the growing fire around them. Turning away from him pointedly, Rey closed her eyes and stretched herself through the Force to a nearby lake, summoning a stream of water and floating it through the air, where it hovered above Kylo for a suspicious amount of time, before dumping it onto the largest blaze.

“Are you going to help or just stand there?” She bit out tightly.

With a loud sigh, he also reached into the Force and pulled a large mass of water over to another section of flames. He kept shooting dark looks at Cardo, who was staring at Rey adoringly as she spun the flow into multiple threads to address the other burning areas.

Once the fires had been sufficiently extinguished, Rey released the last bit of water before stumbling slightly, skin going pale from exhaustion.

Before Kylo could take a step toward her, Cardo — who had gotten to his feet and been following Rey’s actions in admiration— moved forward and quickly offered his arm for support.

“Are you alright, Shrouded Sun?” He asked anxiously.

Rey blinked at him. “I… yes. Thank you. And you can just call me Rey.”

“Cardo Ren. So pleased to meet you.”

She gave him an uncertain smile until Kylo called out, “If you’re so pleased, why don’t you leave her alone?”

They both turned as one, serving him matching glares despite Cardo’s rough mask.

“Care to tell me about that prophecy now?” Rey dished back, eyebrows raised.

Kylo shifted his weight from foot to foot. “It’s demented ramblings from a thousand years ago.”

“Ramblings that say I die?”

“Not that  _ you _ …” He let out a frustrated sigh. “Just that someone—” 

“So you believe it, then?”

Opening his mouth to snap ‘no’, her face — so filled with passion and ire — was suddenly replaced with the cold, ashen version of his nightmares, stopping him where he stood.

As the silence stretched, Rey crossed her arms. “How do you even know I’m the Shaded whatever it is?”

“Shrouded Sun!” Cardo supplied helpfully.

Kylo debated telling her about his vision on Umbr’A, the way the Shadow pulled her face from his memories, had shown him an impossible eclipse with her name, had forced him to watch her limp body fall to the ground while he was unable to stop it — but the words died in his throat. If he spoke them aloud, that could make it real. Make it happen.

Fed up with his silence, Rey glared at him and declared, “Whether you believe it or not, the fact remains that you knew about it and  _ didn’t tell me.” _

“Because it… it doesn’t matter.”

_ Because I won’t let it happen, _ he vowed silently to her and the universe at large.

Her brunette eyebrows rose in a way that informed him she did not find his answer satisfying.

“Strange, since this apparently predicts  _ my  _ death, I would somehow think that I would have a say in whether it matters or not.”

Letting out a long breath, he started, “Rey…”

“No. You had your chance to tell me the truth.” Turning to Cardo, who was watching with a high sense of amusement, she smiled and gestured to a small path in the jungle. “Would you like to tell me about the prophecy?”

“Certainly! Where would you like to begin? I’ve only studied the original Kittat sparingly, where it rhymed, of course, but there’s a fair amount of debate on the precise translation of—” 

“Rey, you can’t go into the forest alone with him!” 

The fire in her eyes burned far hotter than the inferno from earlier. “You are  _ done  _ deciding things on my behalf.  _ We  _ are going for a walk.  _ You  _ stay and make sure all the fires are out.” Her tone instantly calmed as she looked back to Cardo. “I’m so sorry for the interruption, please continue. You were saying?”

And so they left him by himself in the smoldering forest with nothing but smoke, embers, and dark thoughts.

…

“ _ In the dying days of the Light, the Shrouded Sun will arise.  _

_ Her fire marks the Warriors of Night, her flame reveals the Shadow’s form.  _

_ As the stars fade, as the spheres burn, she shall do battle with the Child of Darkness.  _

_ Even as the Shrouded Sun claims her own, so shall she fall, and surrender her light.” _

After pausing dramatically, the Heavy turned to her in obvious excitement. “It’s all about you!”

Rey blinked at him. “I… see.”

“The ‘dying days of the Light’ are because the Jedi are all dead, you see. And the ‘marking of the Warriors of Night’ is you fighting the other Knights!”

He stepped forward conspiratorially. “Is it true that you killed the Reaper?”

“Well, I didn’t… I mean, I fought him, and then there was this giant crack in the planet, and he kept calling me his pet, so—”

“I knew it! You truly are the Shrouded Sun. Vicrul would have been blessed to know he was part of the prophecy. First real use he had, the slugging stoopa.”

“Oh, I thought you were all… comrades.”

Cardo let out a booming laugh. “Attachments of any kind are seen as weakness in the Ren. The best way to become a Knight is to kill one and take their place.”

Swallowing, Rey stared at the ground and ventured, “Is that how Ben — I mean, Kylo, got in?”

The larger being waved his hand. “Nah. Snoke dropped Fury at our feet ten years ago, trembling like a newborn tauntaun, then informed us Fury was our new master, as if that made it so. Kid told us he killed Luke Skywalker, which most of us doubted, but it was something at least. Ushar was ready to paint the inside of his new helmet red until Fury choked him out. Figured we’d give him a try after that.”

Rey frowned in confusion. “Wait, isn’t Snoke your leader?”

“Stars, no! He’s not a Ren and barely a Sith. We follow his orders when they serve the Shadow, but he has no command over us.”

“But he seems to have some sort of… hold on Ben.”

Cardo tilted his head at her, amused skepticism clear despite the rough iron mask. “Not anymore. Not from what I’ve seen.”

She opened her mouth to protest, but couldn’t quite find the words to argue with that.

As they came back into the clearing, Rey bit back a grin at the sight of Ben sitting on a fallen log, arms crossed and shoulders hunched as he stared at the ground. His helmet snapped up as he heard them approach, his hand straying to his saber instinctively.

“We’re back. And alive, to boot,” she commented with a cutting raise of her eyebrow.

“I’m more worried he’ll bring you directly to Snoke,” Ben growled, eyeing the other Knight in suspicion as Rey stopped in her tracks.

Letting out an offended huff, Cardo objected, “Of course I won’t! She’s the Shrouded Sun. I will follow her wherever she wishes to go.”

“As if we can trust anything you say!”

“He could take me directly to Snoke,” Rey repeated softly, eyes flicking back and forth as her mind whirled.

“Exactly!” Ben pointed for emphasis. “I’m glad you’re finally—”

“No, Ben!” She grabbed his arm with a growing grin. “He can take me  _ directly to Snoke!”  _


	22. The Plan

Kylo froze.

“Absolutely not.”

The grin on Rey’s face abruptly shifted to a frown. “Cardo brings me in. He tells the First Order he captured me, then they bring us both directly to Snoke’s chamber. He has my lightsaber, and I already know how to slice binders. Get me close and I’ll end him.”

Cardo nodded proudly. “That’s a good idea!”

“It’s insane!” Kylo roared.

“Listen,” Rey pointed at him. “The First Order has been hunting down every last pocket of Resistance fighters. Rose, Paige, Poe, Finn, all of them live in fear of when they will find us and kill us. Leia’s running herself ragged trying to keep us safe and give us hope and now that Luke is—” 

She stopped suddenly, biting her lip hard enough to turn it white. Kylo was about to reluctantly reassure her that even death couldn’t stop his uncle from meddling when Rey swallowed and forced herself to continue. “The only way to stop the First Order is to stop Snoke.”

He leaned in close, his voice a low growl, “You have no idea how dangerous he is.”

Rey met his visored gaze calmly. “I know it’s the only way.”

Working his jaw, Kylo finally bit out. “Fine. But I’m coming with you.”

“No, no, no. That would make them suspicious.”

“Cardo can take us both in and say he was following orders.”

“My orders are to bring the girl in alive and kill you however I like,” the Knight volunteered cheerfully.

“Exactly! If you come with us, they’ll kill you the second we step on the ship.”

Kylo crossed his arms. “I don’t care. I’m coming with you. Tell them  _ I _ brought you in.”

“No one is going to believe that,” Rey told him, mimicking his defensive stance.

“Then work with that. Say I brought you in as an offering to Snoke, but Cardo doesn’t trust me, so he brought us both.”

“That’s not going to work and you know it.”

“It’s the only way I’m letting you near him.”

They locked matching stubborn glares until Rey sighed and rubbed her forehead. “We’ll take it to Leia. See what she says.”

Kylo tapped his fingers against his saber in agitation, but conceded with a jerk of his chin toward Cardo.

“What about him?”

“I go where the Shrouded Sun goes,” He declared staunchly.

Kylo heaved a loud sigh. “Of course you do.”

…

It took a bit of planning and cleverness to get both Ben and Cardo into the Resistance camp. Leia and Han admitted that most of the rebels had been unnerved by one Knight of Ren walking openly into their base — two might cause a mutiny.

So after quick explanations and copious thank yous to Finn, Rose, and Poe, her friends agreed to volunteer to take watch that evening. Near the middle of the night, once she saw Rose’s signal that the coast was clear, Rey slowly herded the Knights of Ren through the jungle and snuck into the command tent. 

She let out a breath of relief at successfully sneaking in, then realized there was still a lot of work to do as Ben radiated disapproval while his parents kept making brief eye contact with him and then each other. Clearing her throat, and interrupting Chewie’s pointed glare at Cardo, Rey proceeded to introduce everyone before announcing her plan.

“Do you have any idea how dangerous that is?” Han demanded, Ben about to make an emphatic gesture in agreement before he caught himself.

“I’ll be close, I’ll have allies, and I’ll be armed. This is our best chance to stop him and you know it,” Rey argued, gaze locked on Leia, who was studying the schematics of Snoke’s starship thoughtfully.

Chewie roared his doubts about their new companion with a toothy scowl.

“I follow the Shrouded Sun,” Cardo responded adamantly.

“You trust him?” Leia asked Rey in a whisper.

She turned over her shoulder to look at the rough metal of the Heavy’s mask, her eyes continuing unconsciously to Ben standing next to him. Cardo was shorter, but stouter, and carried a ruthless cheerfulness that emanated past his helmet and dark uniform. There were so many reasons she shouldn’t trust Cardo — kriff, shouldn’t trust either of them, but for some reason, she did. Cardo was at least honest about his intentions — whether they be for death or doctrine. Ben… despite how much rage and fear defined him, despite his oath and the Shadow and his helmet, he had chosen to protect her.

She could ask for nothing more from either of them.

Letting out a quiet sigh, Rey gave Leia a shrug. “Strangely enough, yes.”

The Knight’s posture straightened with pride as the older woman nodded, then continued to tap her fingers absently on the command center. “And Ben, you’re sure they’ll bring you to Snoke’s chamber too?”

“No.” He crossed his arms stubbornly. “But I’m not letting her go alone.”

A ghost of a smile flashed across Leia’s face before she brought up another map.

“Plans for getting out? I assume they’re not going to let you walk back to the hangar.”

Ben reached out to the floating blueprints and flicked through the levels until he got to the main throne room. Pointing a gloved finger to the side, he explained, “Snoke has a personal shuttle that docks directly to the chamber. If—” he paused, and everyone could hear  _ ‘if we survive’ _ hanging silently in the air. 

Clearing his throat, he proceeded. “If everything goes to plan, we can take the shuttle and make a quick exit.”

Han glanced around the room with a faintly amused shake of his head. “You know this is insane, right?”

“So are most of the things you did,” Ben muttered, his father turning to him in indignation while Rey covered a grin.

“This is the best chance anyone has to end Snoke — to end the First Order.” Rey looked around at the room, eyes resting briefly on each being present. “We have to try.”

…

She couldn’t sleep.

Not when they were planning on killing the Supreme Leader of the First Order tomorrow.

After tossing and turning for what felt like hours on the small cot in the tent she shared with Rose, Paige, and Tallie, Rey finally gave up and decided to go for a walk. 

She was just realizing her feet were taking her to Ben’s shuttle when she heard a gruff, “Hey, kid.”

Jumping a little, Rey let out a sigh of relief as she saw Han heading her direction.

“Hey, yourself.”

His brown eyes studied her a moment in sympathy. “Can’t sleep?”

Rey rubbed her neck in embarrassment. “Not really. Too much… everything.”

“I figured. Well, c’mon. I got something that’ll make it easier to sleep, at least.”

If someone on Jakku had told her all those months ago that one day she’d be drinking Corellian whiskey with Han Solo, the galaxy’s legendary smuggler, and Leia Organa, leader of the Rebellion, she would have tossed sand in their eyes to teach them for lying.

The  _ Falcon’s  _ crew quarters were far more comfortable than any of the beds set up in the base, and Rey was glad to have found something not quite home, but close enough as she listened to Leia telling war stories and Han recounting near-escapes in his smuggling career.

Laughing along with them, she glanced back into the cockpit absently, and a strong memory that didn’t belong to her floated to the forefront of her mind — a gruff bark of laughter, a hand clapping Ben’s shoulder, Han’s voice light and loving.

_ “Whoa, Ben! Easy! You’re getting pretty slick. Just don’t tell your mother I let you fly.” _

“You alright, Rey?” Leia said kindly, startling her out of the echo of memory.

“Oh, yes, I’m fine,” she managed, taking another sip of the whiskey and savoring its burn down her throat. Unsure whether it was the drink or her curiosity, Rey suddenly heard herself asking, “What does he look like?”

The adults both stop short, glancing hesitantly at each other before turning toward her.

“Has he never…” Han started, then trailed off uncomfortably as he waved a face in front of his face.

Rey shook her head. “No,” she told the metal flooring quietly. “It’s forbidden, he says.”

“Even now that he’s—” Han’s question was cut off by Leia’s elbow to his ribs. 

Pausing a moment, Leia refilled her cup from the bright blue bottle. “He was… ten — still a child — when we left him with Luke,” she answered, voice halfway between fondness and shame. “Last time we saw him he was fifteen, arms and nose he hadn’t grown into yet. We meant to visit more, but...” Her voice trailed off with unspoken promises and untold regrets.

“Ears big as a gundark’s,” Han spoke into the silence with an attempt at a chuckle.

“You’re one to talk. He got them from you.”

“Hey!”

Leia’s sad smile faded. “He has dark hair. A few freckles here and there on his face. Brown-gold eyes that always looked so serious — as if he was considering every move possible before he did anything.”

“Stars help you if you stopped him from doing what he wanted. All that consideration meant he was as mad as a stung bantha if you said ‘no’. That boy could throw a tantrum like no one you’ve ever seen,” Han reminisced, then leaned over with a stage whisper, “He gets that from her.”

There was a light-hearted punch to his shoulder which Han took with a loving smile and the ease of long practice.

“I wish…” Rey started, the rest of the words sticking in her throat. She had wished for so many things for so long, it felt like second nature. The dream of finding her parents would never truly die, but it had dimmed to colorless forms and wordless apologies.

In contrast, her hopes for Ben were sharp and strong, far clearer than any of her daydreams. She wished him free of Snoke. Wished him freedom from his anger, his fear, the grasping Shadow that slithered around him.

Wished that she was strong enough to help him. To chase away his roiling darkness.

To tell him...

But if her time on Jakku had taught her anything, it was that wishes were as empty and biting as the desert winds.

Rey felt a warmth encompass her hands and looked up into Leia’s kind eyes. “You have done far more than anyone could ask,” she told Rey with motherly comfort, placing a gentle hand on her cheek. “You are strong and brave, and I am proud to know you.”

It wasn’t until Han handed her a bit of cloth that Rey realized she was crying. Leia gave her a watery smile of her own before pointedly capping the liquor. 

“Well, that’s enough for me. You should get some sleep.”

“Feel free to bunk here for the night if you like,” Han offered, stretching his arms. “There’s decent space and a bit of quiet, at least.”

She would have protested, but Leia draped a soft blanket over her as Han rustled up a pillow for the relief bunk, her eyelids already drifting shut. As the  _ Falcon’s _ lights dimmed, she heard the soft call of ‘goodnight’ from both of Ben’s parents. And if a few more tears of familiar sorrow and unexpected happiness fell from her eyes, well, no one was around to see.

...

“I don’t like this.”

“You’ve said that already,” Cardo pointed out from the cockpit of his shuttle.

Kylo scowled ineffectually at the other Knight’s back before turning to Rey, who was organizing their supplies.

“Well, I  _ don’t,” _ he mumbled, grabbing on to the side of the storage bench as Cardo’s shuttle made the jump to hyperspace.

“I’m sure you’ll survive,” she told him. He watched her bite back a smile that did far more to his chest than he liked.

“Will we?” He shot back, instantly regretting it as a wave of guilt crashed over Rey’s face.

Busying herself with the tools in front of her, she finally offered quietly, “You could stay,” the hurt in her tone slicing into his chest. 

“I know.” Kylo winced under his helmet. Stars, he was bad at this. “But I’d rather be here than… not.”

Accepting his attempt at reconciliation with a slow nod, Rey turned to Cardo in a sudden realization. “Will the other Knights be with Snoke?”

Cardo waved his hand dismissively. “Nah. He sent Ushar and Trudgen out to some Sith Temple in the Far Rim for one of his drukking projects.”

Kylo suddenly went very still. “Where?”

“Not sure. He said something about  _ ‘ensuring the rise of his unstoppable dark power’ _ ,” Cardo told them with a wavering impression of Snoke, then scoffed. “As if the Shadow isn’t powerful enough. He simply lacks the knobs to use it correctly.”

Ignoring the old instinct to tell Cardo to watch how he spoke about the Supreme Leader, Kylo tapped his fingers against the hilt of his saber. He didn’t know where this Sith Temple was, but if Snoke was involved with creating more power, it certainly didn’t bode well.

“Hey, you alright?”

He turned to see Rey looking at him with sympathetic concern, which somehow managed to both soothe and discomfit him.

_ “No,” _ he snapped, the unsettled feeling in his stomach sharpening his tone. “We’re trying to walk into a ship crawling with First Order troopers in order to kill the Supreme Leader! And what’s worse, you don’t seem to care!”

“Of course I care! Of course I’m afraid. I’m just not as afraid as  _ you  _ are!”

He stepped closer while Rey stood her ground, glaring at him with those burning hazel eyes of hers. “You have no idea what he can do, Rey. He can reach inside your mind, pull out thoughts and feelings you’ve never—” 

“No, he can’t.”

Caught off-guard by the sheer authority in that statement, it took Kylo a few moments to finally demand, “How would you know?”

“Because he didn’t know you were going to rescue me.”

“I… He… I hadn’t decided to do it yet.”

“But you had thought about it, hadn’t you?” She pressed, now the one moving forward while Kylo tried to keep still. “And he would have done something if he knew.”

He knew she was wrong, but couldn’t find the words to prove it. Softening her tone, Rey reached a slow hand up to the side of his helmet, the slight touch feeling as though it was burning through the metal to his skin.

“Your fear gives him power, Ben,” she whispered, her voice barely audible over the hammering of his heart. “But he underestimates you. He underestimates both of us.”

Her fingers slipped down to trace the edge of his mask, and his breath — which had seemed unnaturally loud before — suddenly froze in his lungs, whether in anticipation or fear he wasn’t sure.

_ “Supremacy _ , this the  _ Resolute _ , requesting docking bay access and a line to Hux.”

Cardo’s metallic voice caused them to jump apart like startled convors, a redness in Rey’s cheeks that Kylo could have sworn wasn’t there before.

“That’s  _ General  _ Hux to you!” The irritable ginger snapped, a small hologram coming into view. “And I assume the only reason you’ve returned is to bring the Supreme Leader his prize?”

“Yes.”

The floating blue version of Hux looked almost stunned.

“You have the girl?”

“And something extra. The Fury himself.”

Hux’s brows furrowed into familiar anger. “Your orders were to kill the traitor on sight.”

“He’s the one who found me, says he wanted to offer the girl as a gift to Snoke.”

There was a loud scoff. “And you believed him?”

“Of course not. That’s why I’m bringing them both in.”

Silence reigned for a moment, Rey and Kylo exchanging tense glances.

“You’re cleared for Hangar C. And be quick about it. The Supreme Leader does not like waiting.”

Cardo shut off the communicator with a loud huff and mutterings about pompous underlings. “Well, seems like they bought it.”

“For now,” Kylo added dourly.

The other Knight chuckled, then reached down and grabbed something out of a supply bag before tossing it to Kylo. “Here. Better hurry.”

Shooting Cardo a look, Kylo opened his hand only to see the familiar sight of durasteel binders, identical to the ones he had used all those months ago when tracking his prey in the desert sands of Jakku.

He turned to watch Rey, who was staring at the metal cuffs with a pale face and tightly clenched fists, memories flashing through her own mind as well as his.

“We could turn back,” he murmured, giving her an out. “There’s still time.”

She swallowed, then straightened her spine and held her wrists out in a clear answer. “No. We’ve come so far.”

For all her brave words, Kylo felt the slight tremble of her hands as he gently activated the cuffs. An attempt at a smile wavered on her face.

“Even if it doesn’t look like it.”

He shifted his palms to rest under hers. “You’re right,” he told her, not moving his gaze from her hands. “He underestimates us.”

Her smile turned true, and the tremble in her hands lessened. “Yes. He does.”


End file.
